I could use a friend that understands me

[dianndelto]

today my sister in law announced the world she is having a girl.... Ive known she is pregnant since April 8th. it was a kick in the stomach. Im happy for her, dont take me wrong! but it hurts, and people dont understand that! They think we should jump up and down with happiness, but I dont!

I need a hug! :'(

 

[ourfate]

i know how you feel, my bestfriend is preg 6 months now. im so happy for her but all at the same time. so jealous!

 

[Futuremommy1]

yea I definitely know how you are feeling. I want to be all excited for others but it's hard. My SIL is due in sept and it's not even her husbands baby!!! So I'm definitely not happy for her. I feel sorry for the baby and wonder why someone who is in her situation can have a child but so many others can't. There are 3 ppl at my job having fertility issues. It sucks!!!

 

[Darlin65]

I have a bit of a different story to tell... We got engaged and then soon to be BIL got in engaged. We bought a house...BIL and his fiancee bought a house. They totally took all the attention off of us and are getting married next month(which was set before the date we were to marry) And they have been together like a third of the time we have. Had to postpone the wedding temporarily cuz DF's place of work shutdown. Nobody even asked to see my ring at the large family get together because we were old news It hurts when others get what you so desperately want and you have to constantly hear about it. I quit visiting the in laws as much because I was sick of her bragging and talking about it.

 

[SweetPickles]

Here's a , dianndelto. And hoping you get a BFP of your own soon!

 

[dianndelto]

I am just tired of hearing:

"its in God's time, not yours"
"it will happen when its meant to be"
"just relax and it will just happen"
"stressing about it only makes it worst"
"God has a plan, wait in faith"

How do you want me to relax when there are 19 of my friends pregnant?
How do you want me to understand God's time when people who have kids, and more than one dont want them, throw them away like a piece of garbage... I would go to hell and back for a baby and they dont want them. Why THEM and not ME!
Whats wrong with me?

This is a crazy rollercoaster, and I know you all understand.

My SIL have been sending me text messages with ultrasound pictures, the baby's heartbeat, ideas for baby shower and I want to be there for her, but the emotional toll its too much! Im a mess for a couple of days.... She thinks im going to get pregnant soon, she has brought me magazine, baby product samples from her clinic... I know the good of her heart, but my heart is broken in a million pieces everytime I see a BFN

I think I took it a lot better than I thought. If she would have announced a boy I would had have to leave work and go home and cry under a rock. We want a boy, his family want a boy.... and their hopes were always for us to have a baby... her baby was an accident, a good one though. A child is always a blessing.

Im jealous and I am not afraid to admit it, and the ache in my heart is too big, too hard to explain. I dont blame God, but of course its hard not to ask WHY....

Today has been a bad day.... I start my 3rd cycle on femara Sunday CD5-9. Wish my luck and baby dust.

 

[sara1786]

I am just tired of hearing:

"its in God's time, not yours"
"it will happen when its meant to be"
"just relax and it will just happen"
"stressing about it only makes it worst"
"God has a plan, wait in faith"

My SIL have been sending me text messages with ultrasound pictures, the baby's heartbeat, ideas for baby shower and I want to be there for her, but the emotional toll its too much! Im a mess for a couple of days....

Im jealous and I am not afraid to admit it, and the ache in my heart is too big, too hard to explain. I dont blame God, but of course its hard not to ask WHY....

first off, I want to thank you for this wonderful thread b/c it shows raw emotion that comes with the frustrations of pregnancy & its complications & I think it's important that people understand these emotions.

I'm not going to give you any of the cliques of "it will happen" or "whats meant to be will be" ect... because it's okay that you're not okay... if that makes sense. There are no reasons, there is no reasonable (or acceptable) explanations, & that sucks!! From my experience of miscarriages I've come to understand that life is so unfair for so many unknown and unexplained reasons...

All I've ever wanted in life was a family with my wonderful husband... how & why could "God" give me a child, give the child a heartbeat & then take it away from us?! Yet, a 17 year old who doesn't want children & has no interest in raising a child ends up pregnant & views the child as a "burden" she has to care for... so unfair.

My SIL is also pregnant & she has the same due date I would have if not for my 2nd miscarriage. She is also having a girl but that gives me hope because when she was pregnant with her [now] 2 yr old, my DH & I were not married or even engaged. But, I have wanted to have the first grandson since forever.. I've always wanted my first child to a boy... when she found out her 1st was a girl & now her 2nd is a girl.. I am still hopeful that I can get that first grandson!! :]

Thankfully, she does not send me pictures or magazines... I could not deal with that!! I cannot imagine the pain that must cause-- I am so sorry for that!! & I wish I could make your pain go away!!

I will be thinking of you & your DH... I wish the best of luck to you all.

 

[dianndelto]

I am just tired of hearing:

"its in God's time, not yours"
"it will happen when its meant to be"
"just relax and it will just happen"
"stressing about it only makes it worst"
"God has a plan, wait in faith"

My SIL have been sending me text messages with ultrasound pictures, the baby's heartbeat, ideas for baby shower and I want to be there for her, but the emotional toll its too much! Im a mess for a couple of days....

Im jealous and I am not afraid to admit it, and the ache in my heart is too big, too hard to explain. I dont blame God, but of course its hard not to ask WHY....

first off, I want to thank you for this wonderful thread b/c it shows raw emotion that comes with the frustrations of pregnancy & its complications & I think it's important that people understand these emotions.

I'm not going to give you any of the cliques of "it will happen" or "whats meant to be will be" ect... because it's okay that you're not okay... if that makes sense. There are no reasons, there is no reasonable (or acceptable) explanations, & that sucks!! From my experience of miscarriages I've come to understand that life is so unfair for so many unknown and unexplained reasons...

All I've ever wanted in life was a family with my wonderful husband... how & why could "God" give me a child, give the child a heartbeat & then take it away from us?! Yet, a 17 year old who doesn't want children & has no interest in raising a child end up pregnant & view the child as a "burden" she has to care for.

My SIL is also pregnant & she has the same due date I would have had if I had not had a 2nd miscarriage. Thankfully, she does not send me pictures or magazines... I could not deal with that!! I cannot imagine the pain that must cause-- I am so sorry for that!! & I wish I could make your pain go away!!

I will be thinking of you & your DH... I wish the best of luck to you all.

I have never had a m/c before and I pray to God everyday I do not ever have to go through it. You are strong girl! people like you make me believe that some day I will not go empty handed.

You know, I think people that are fertile just dont understand how we feel. I changed my status on facebook tonight and it said " I could really use a wish right now". and a friend sent me a private inbox saying "have you thought about having a surrogate". and yes, I have but OMG!
She has 3 kids, what does she knows!
If they could only understand the ache in our hearts...

I dont ask for a lot, I just want a baby! whats wrong with that?
isnt every woman entitled to at that? isnt that why we go through painful AF? isnt that just what a woman is supposed to do?

I wish my friends could understand.... that half of the time I wanna hide under a rock because their status is "I felt my baby move".... ugh....

 

[Jaylina]

Don't worry, we all know how you feel. Although we are happy for other's pregnancies, we, well at least for me, feel that it is just too much of an agonizing joy. The heart hurts, but just know, because I know how much it hurts - just know that you have support from so many women here. We all understand

 

[dianndelto]

"She is also having a girl but that gives me hope because when she was pregnant with her [now] 2 yr old, my DH & I were not married or even engaged. But, I have wanted to have the first grandson since forever.. I've always wanted my first child to a boy... when she found out her 1st was a girl & now her 2nd is a girl.. I am still hopeful that I can get that first grandson!! :]

You feel the same as me!!!

 

[sgibbo189]

i know exactly how you feel. i just found out my mum is pregnant with her 8th child but they are all taken into care straight away so feels like a massive smack in the face she can get pregnant and not be a mother and i have been trying for over a year and have had no luck.

alot of people have been saying the same things, it will happen when the time is right or if it's meant to happen it will. which is absolutely no help at all.

 

[Goldfish]

I'm not TTC yet (I reallllly want to but can't yet due to medical reasons), but just wanted to send hugs to all of you! many of my friends are pregnant/having kids now so feeling a bit left behind...

 

[dianndelto]

my goodness! your mom? I can only imagine how terrible you feel. ugh! that is a big smack on the face!

I have a friend who even opened a facebook account for her baby. She posts all of her ultrasounds, gifts in every babyshower she has received, and her week by week belly pics.
Maybe I shouldnt be this bitter, When I get pregnant I will be the first one to jump up and down, and post a million pictures myself. This is her time, and I am happy for her.

But what if I never get to accomplish this dream? I know SOOO many people who wanted kids and through the years, they never got pregnant...

I woke up very sad once again today!

 

[Jaylina]

I'm not TTC yet (I reallllly want to but can't yet due to medical reasons), but just wanted to send hugs to all of you! many of my friends are pregnant/having kids now so feeling a bit left behind...

I know......I'm gonna be honest. I DO feel left behind because the majority of my girlfriends are pregnant and/or already have a child. EVEN my male friends who are married now. Can anyone blame me for feeling this way? Or others in this circle? NO.

With PCOS, I suffer much from mood swings, and sometimes I do fall into deep depression. But I try not to let other's pregnancy joys pierce my heart, especially during PMS (haha).

My mom used to tell me this saying, which gives me a tremendous comfort during times when I feel the universe is not on my side: "Remember that victory comes with patience, relief comes with affliction, and ease comes with hardship". - - - This always keeps my spirit high and strong.

 

[sara1786]

I'm not TTC yet (I reallllly want to but can't yet due to medical reasons), but just wanted to send hugs to all of you! many of my friends are pregnant/having kids now so feeling a bit left behind...

With PCOS, I suffer much from mood swings, and sometimes I do fall into deep depression.

My mom used to tell me this saying, which gives me a tremendous comfort during times when I feel the universe is not on my side: "Remember that victory comes with patience, relief comes with affliction, and ease comes with hardship". - - - This always keeps my spirit high and strong.

what does PCOS stand for? && I love your mom's saying!!

 

[wantanerd]

PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

Diann, I completely understand. I was gutted when my SIL announced her 3rd pregnancy in October and then gave birth in April. It killed me to know she had what I so desperately wanted. I feel gutted every time I hear someone else I know is pregnant but I have to keep positive and keep hoping I will one day get pregnant and hold my baby in my arms.

 

[SpringerS]

It's awful isn't it. Not being able to be happy for people that you really wish you could be happy for. Two of my close friends gave birth last week and my aunt had her fourth child two nights ago. In the last while 12 other friends/relatives have announced their pregnancies/given birth. And I'm honestly not at all happy for them, I mean objectively I am, I know they're happy and it's nice for them. But deep down, in my soul, it just hurts and I hate it.

I've actually hidden everyone on facebook who's pregnant/expecting. I can't lose whatever peace I'm clinging on to on any random afternoon that I log on. I just desperately want to hurry up and get pregnant and then I can be happy for them. I make plans like, "X's christening is on the 21st, if I'm pregnant this month I should get a BFP by the 19th, then I can go. If not I'm not going, no way can I have my period and go celebrate a newborn." Or, "Y's baby is due on the 10th, that's CD22 for me. I can ignore it until CD29, hopefully I'll have had a BFP that morning and can go visit from then on, with a genuine smile on my face. If not I'll just have to hold out until the middle of next month."

 

[dianndelto]

Ladies,

Its so refreshing to know that there are more people like me that feel sick to their stomach everytime someone announces they are pregnant. MY EXBOYFRIEND sent me a private message to tell me his girlfriend was pregnant and they were getting married next week.

My SIL has been probably the worst about understanding that this hurts me. Yes, she just announced it on facebook and she is 4 month along, but everry morning I woke up with a different story. The morning she heard the baby's heartbeat she recorded it on her phone and sent it to me before than anybody else. I know she doesnt mean it. I actually had to back out from helping on her baby shower... when I went to pick out the invitations I broke down and I didnt get out of my house for 2 days.

This is some serious stuff. I think Im officially depressed but not enough to put me in depression medication. God knows...

I made an appointment with an RE. 20th is the day.
I hope he gives me hope. my gyno gives me my medication but he hasnt been helpful lately. I cannot afford an IVF, even when my insurance pays 50%. an IVF in Florida is 30 thousand dollars. Insn't ridiculous? I understand technology but its a little too much, or I chose the wrong career path!

Baby dust to all of you! I can only hope you all get your BFP this month, even if I dont!
I took my first femara this cycle today! finger's crossed!!! and toes too!

 

[Lily7]

Big hugs x

 

[Jaylina]

I'm not TTC yet (I reallllly want to but can't yet due to medical reasons), but just wanted to send hugs to all of you! many of my friends are pregnant/having kids now so feeling a bit left behind...

With PCOS, I suffer much from mood swings, and sometimes I do fall into deep depression.

My mom used to tell me this saying, which gives me a tremendous comfort during times when I feel the universe is not on my side: "Remember that victory comes with patience, relief comes with affliction, and ease comes with hardship". - - - This always keeps my spirit high and strong.

what does PCOS stand for? && I love your mom's saying!!

PCOS = Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome.

Yes, mothers are wise. She always tells me that when nothing is going right in my life.