I didn't realise

[Chilli]

I had some light bleeding at the weekend so went to the early pregnancy clinic on Monday for a scan, to my absolute horror and shock I was told "your little baby's heart has stopped beating". Words I'll never forget! Two days later (yesterday) I had an operation and took my little angel home in a box! I should have been 11 weeks. How do we get over this? I console myself with my wonderful 2 year old who keeps saying "Mummy sad" and the fact that my husband is being totally supportive, but I never realised how common and terrible this was. I've spent the last few days going over all the things I did or didn't do, I sob whenever I'm left alone. It's like I'm in a horrible haze of deep deep sadness for someone I never even knew. I can't stop thinking that I'll never hear that baby cry, or see it's face or know what it's little bottom looks like. Idon't know how to make it better?

 

[LeaArr]

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was a magic way to take the pain away, but you just need to take the time to grieve for your loss hun. Again, I am so sorry!

 

[rachjim98]

Oh you poor thing, yes I too feel your pain and didn't realize how common the loss was either. So sorry for your loss if you need to talk feel free to Pm me or any of these great people on here they have been so helpful during my time of need.

 

[toby2]

hugs for you chilli -sorry for your loss, it is really tough when you think those things, i have a 2yr old little boy and when i look at him i sometimes wonder weather the two i have lost would look like him and sound like him, it is hard but as time passes the day to day gets a little easier. I had no idea about any of this until it happened to me either

do you hospital offer counselling? i found that really helpful. I also did a few things to remember my little ones by-wrote them a note, planted a tree...it all helped
x

 

[Naya69]

iam so sorry for your loss i wish i could take the pain away i hope you feel better soon xx

 

[DiddyDons]

I am so sorry for your loss

https://remembranceticker.tickershack.com/tickers/vt2me72lida63gpn.png

 

[missisH]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[Hoping]

I am so sorry for your loss hunny, I don't know what else to say that will help. I had a very early miscarriage the first time I fell pregnant so it was different for me, but time is a great healer.

 

[Shelby2007]

Oh you poor thing. That's exactly how they told me about my twins.. and then gave me some rubbish about there are more mc in january and february.. (like i cared).. it was the saddest and meanest thing anyone has ever told me. to you.

 

[MrsJD]

So sorry for your loss.



XXXXX

 

[Chilli]

Thanks to all of your for your support, without which I don't think I could climb out of this hole. I don't know how to pm anyone so if you could tel me that would be great, my capacity for working it out is rather low. Does anyone have any experience of feeling you are neglecting the older sibling whilst trying to deal with the loss? I feel terrible that I keep hugging her which reduces me to tears

 

[buffycat]

i am so sorry for your loss....it really is very unfair......

all i can say is that we have to go through the grieving process. We need to grieve for the lo that we had to say goodbye to, and to all of the memoreis that we will not experience with that lo.....

time helps to ease the pain though.....and at some point, you will be able to look forward.....

take care...
luv & hugs

 

[Naya69]

Thanks to all of your for your support, without which I don't think I could climb out of this hole. I don't know how to pm anyone so if you could tel me that would be great, my capacity for working it out is rather low. Does anyone have any experience of feeling you are neglecting the older sibling whilst trying to deal with the loss? I feel terrible that I keep hugging her which reduces me to tears

to pm just click on the persons name and it will give you a option to send message xx

 

[dawny690]

Sending you some huni xx

 

[Schmelly]

I have been through a similar thing this week. I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[toby2]

Chilli i have a two yr old little boy-in the last 7months i hav gone through 2 pregs, 2 lots of morning sickness and 2 m/c and at times i feel really bad for my little boy but he is one of the reasons i want another baby and sometimes thats how family life works-i reassure myself that he has lots of ppl who love him,not just me-i've done my best and am there for him when i can be but sometimes i just cant be. Your little knows you love them, dont give yourself a hard time over having time to healxxx

 

[Tishimouse]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I do hope you find the peace of mind to cope with this soon. Nature has a way of allowing us to grieve a little at a time so that we are not overwhelmed with the whole thing in one go. I reckon that's what crying when we are alone is all about and when people are around us we manage to have spells of normalilty among the heartache. You are most certainly not alone and this is such a wonderful website to be part of during the good times and the not so good.

Lots of terrific women here to both listen and share their similar experiences with, which definitely helps. Take care of yourself.

 

[Daisydo]

Im very sorry for your loss. Keep your family close to you and allow yourself to grieve without fear from that process may help you get through this. You have your own special angel. My prayers are with you

 

[todteach]

Sending you . xox

 

[Chilli]

This morning we went to meet with the vicar about having Soloman buried with my grandparents and a ceremony to acknowledge his existence and our loss. Why do I feel compelled to keep it quiet with just us 2? Maybe because so few others have said much more than they are sorry. It makes me feel like I am exagerating, but I can't help but recognise that I would probably have been the same. I didn't realise that losing such a small life would have such a big impact, I thought it made it easier if you had never touched them with your hand or seen their eyes look into yours. It makes me feel so bereft!