I don't know what to do...

[makecaker]

a

 

[Momma.Bear]

Greif is complicated.
I lost my Mom 3 months ago.
On days i really miss her, rather than cry, i end up taking it out on my OH.
Give it time. I'm sure he'll come around.

 

[resursval]

I'm not even sure where I should be posting this I just need to talk to someone and I have no1 around me I feel I can talk to plus it's 3am. I am say in tears as I write this because I can see my marriage falling apart in front of my eyes and I don't know how to stop it! My husband lost his mam about a year and a half ago and he has found it really hard, I have tried so hard to be there for him and he was getting through it slowly but the last few months he has just been so cold and distant. He shouts at me, he shouts at the kids. He won't give me hugs or anything, he's not even that interested in sex anymore and he doesn't look at me the way he used to. If I say anything to him he tells me he loves me more than anything then it usually turns into him saying he will leave because that's what's best (not trying harder or changing) and then back to I'm sorry but then things are exactly the same. I think he's still grieving, actually I know he is but I don't know how much longer I can take this as a valid excuse and how long I can be this unhappy...
I know I might sound really selfish but he won't get help, he says he doesn't need it and I'm not sure how much is actual grieving and how much is him using it as an excuse....
I
Just don't know what to do or where to go anymore....do I fight for my marriage or end it before I hate him? All I want from him is his love for me and the kids and for him not to be so angry all the time why can't he do that for us???
I know it has to be my decision but I just need someone to talk to I feel so sad and so unloved I just don't know what to do...

Seems to me it's time for your husband to man up and stop being a selfish ***.... How much of this bull**** can you take? It takes two to tango..

 

[resursval]

I'm not even sure where I should be posting this I just need to talk to someone and I have no1 around me I feel I can talk to plus it's 3am. I am say in tears as I write this because I can see my marriage falling apart in front of my eyes and I don't know how to stop it! My husband lost his mam about a year and a half ago and he has found it really hard, I have tried so hard to be there for him and he was getting through it slowly but the last few months he has just been so cold and distant. He shouts at me, he shouts at the kids. He won't give me hugs or anything, he's not even that interested in sex anymore and he doesn't look at me the way he used to. If I say anything to him he tells me he loves me more than anything then it usually turns into him saying he will leave because that's what's best (not trying harder or changing) and then back to I'm sorry but then things are exactly the same. I think he's still grieving, actually I know he is but I don't know how much longer I can take this as a valid excuse and how long I can be this unhappy...
I know I might sound really selfish but he won't get help, he says he doesn't need it and I'm not sure how much is actual grieving and how much is him using it as an excuse....
I
Just don't know what to do or where to go anymore....do I fight for my marriage or end it before I hate him? All I want from him is his love for me and the kids and for him not to be so angry all the time why can't he do that for us???
I know it has to be my decision but I just need someone to talk to I feel so sad and so unloved I just don't know what to do...

Seems to me it's time for your husband to man up and stop being a selfish ***.... How much of this bull**** can you take? It takes two to tango..

Grieving also doesn't give you the right to act like an ass to the ones you are suppose to love the most.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Could he get some help with his feelings, some counselling maybe? If you love each other it might be worth trying everything? Hugs though, I unfortunately know what it's like to live a man behaving like that and am not sure what to do myself.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Oh sorry you said he wouldn't get help. That would be ultimatum time for me.

 

[jcrhccna1]

There is a movie based on the book (THE OVE DARE) its called FIREPROOF I sugest you both watch the movie and if at all possible read the book there are 40 steps in the book one step a day for 40 days it will help you very much to ether save your marrage or at least give you closure for trying

 

[Dezireey]

Sounds like he may have developed or is developing clinical depression. Most people in the thick of it just don't realise what's going on around them and are so far in a black hole they cannot see a way out. It often gets triggered by life changing events such as grief or long term injury, loss of good job etc. if he won't get help perhaps seek professional advice for yourself and how to handle him? e.g tips and tricks of communicating with him more effectively and ways to help YOU rather than him? just a suggestion. Sometimes the best way to deal with a family member going through something, whether it's grief, alcoholism or depression is to help yourself first and find good coping mechanisms for you as a start.

Hugs xx