I don't know what to tell her :(

[Proserpina]

My almost-8-year-old (who has DiGeorge syndrome---look it up) is finally beginning to understand what has happened with daddy, and it's killing her. She has been crying herself to sleep and wetting herself, both at night and even during the day. She cries that she wants daddy. She says it's my fault that I kicked him out. She says "Please love each other again." She's not eating well and she sleeps a lot, says she doesn't want to go to school.

He stood her up yesterday. We went to a church function at 4 PM and he had told us he was going to come there and meet her. We got there late at 4:15; he wasn't there. At 4:35 I texted him to see how long he was going to be, and he said "running late." I said, "Eta?" and he said, "I'll come by the apartment later tonight." Dope was still in Chicago about an hour away, couldn't even be bothered to text his poor heartbroken daughter and let her know he wouldn't be there. He didn't come to the apartment until after 10 PM. (His excuse? He said he was moving the new roommate in and "he" was taking forever. So for once in your life, tell your stupid dance studio friends to bug off and be there for your family instead! GRRRRR.)

All of the books and web sites say to refrain from criticizing the other parent. I'm finding that hard the way he's breaking her heart.

 

[Meezerowner]

That must be so hard for you to watch

I can't believe he let her down like that - it's really selfish.
I don't know what you can tell her other than the cliche "Mummy and Daddy are not together anymore but we both still love you".... easy enough to say but if he's not following through with the actions to back it up it's going to make her feel insecure.

You need to have a word with him and let him know that it's not on to let her down like that particularly at this transition time when she needs him to be extra reliable.

I guess you have to be extra kind to her with lots of cuddles and maybe try and plan some really fun things for you to do to distract and give her something to look forward to.

Did you find out yet if room-mate is Bimberly?

 

[Kiwiberry]

I am really sorry you and your little girl are going through this .

 

[Proserpina]

Did you find out yet if room-mate is Bimberly?

Nope. Tempted to go stake out his apartment complex on Saturday and see who comes out of it with him to go to work on Saturday morning, if it's her or if it really is some guy from his studio. Is that extreme?

 

[Meezerowner]

Did you find out yet if room-mate is Bimberly?

Nope. Tempted to go stake out his apartment complex on Saturday and see who comes out of it with him to go to work on Saturday morning, if it's her or if it really is some guy from his studio. Is that extreme?

Little bit crazy stalking

But if I were you I'd want to know. Maybe you could just ask him outright - he'd be taken off guard and I'm sure would tell you?

 

[Proserpina]

But if I were you I'd want to know. Maybe you could just ask him outright - he'd be taken off guard and I'm sure would tell you?

Yeah right. You know how you can tell my husband is lying?

His mouth is moving.

The Mormon church will probably excommunicate him if he's shacked up with a girlfriend/mistress. That's why he'll never tell.

I think I'll skip the stalking and tell him that our daughter can't hang out at his place again unless I meet his roommate. That will put him in a tough spot if it is Bimberly.

 

[Meezerowner]

I think I'll skip the stalking and tell him that our daughter can't hang out at his place again unless I meet his roommate. That will put him in a tough spot if it is Bimberly.

Well that's sensible and you need to know for safety anyway.
And you need to know who's there and what their function is i.e. room-mate vs. step parent! That's defo a good idea.

He will be stuck if it is her.