I don't know where to leave dd1 when I go in for my c-section.

[Almostmom]

I'm up crying at 4am because I don't know who's going to be with my dd for the 3 days. My Dh says we drop her at nursery at 4:30am because I have to be at the hospital 5am for my planned c-section and he'll fetch her when he goes back home, and leave her there when he goes back and forth between hospital and home.

My issue is dh has never taken care of her alone for more than half a day, doesn't do well with nappy changing, hardly makes her food or feeds her and has never bathed her. She is very attached to me and has not been spending nights over anywhere else. Only 2 people I would be comfortable leaving her with are my 2 sisters but they both won't be available. We are not at ease with my stepmom and most of our relatives live 3 hours away.

I don't know if I can handle her visit at the hospital if she'll cry for me when it's time to go. I'm so stressed out and it's still two months away.

 

[amelia26]

Can your oh start doing those things now? And having more one on one time with her so they both get used to it? It will benefit both of them anyway just spending more time together and strengthening their bond.

 

[Hit Girl]

There's still some time for 'coaching' your DH in what to do. Are you worried about leaving her with him in terms of trust issues?

I'm also starting to get sad about the thought of our little DS being without us for a few days. Thankfully his grandmas will be staying at our place with him. I hope you start to feel better about your arrangements/sort them out soon. This would make me a nervous wreck too!

 

[Almostmom]

My dh is a great playmate and the time they spend together is full of love and laughter. But he just doesn't like the messy stuff and he is very busy and we'll get busier towards my due date, he is an engineer and just got contracts to service 4 major airports which means some travelling as well. And it's his business and our main source of income which has allowed me to stay home with dd. He will be taking that week of the birth off and go back after that. My dd is a fussy eater if you don't force her to eat she'll be shaking because of hunger and still refuse to eat. I only drop her at nursery at 10am after she has her breakfast because they were struggling too and I would fetch her at 15:00 and she would be starving.

I only feel motherless when I'm about to have a baby or just had one, my mom passed away when I was 7 and I have learned to live with it except at these times.

 

[Kirsty3051]

If you've got your section date, could you not arrange something with one of your relatives? I know 3 hours is a long way but if it saves you worrying about your daughter it's probably going to be worth it

 

[PurpleIvy44]

I would start "training" him and he's just going have to step up as a father. You need to tell him how much this worries and stresses you out and if he hears your side, hopefully he'll be more willing to help you out. You can't do everything hon and you need his help.

Can the relatives that live 3 hours away come stay at your home for the 3 days to help your husband out? At least with a C-section you can plan things out ahead of time to help alleviate some of the stress.

 

[jlw617]

If you've got your section date, could you not arrange something with one of your relatives? I know 3 hours is a long way but if it saves you worrying about your daughter it's probably going to be worth it

This is what I was going to say

 

[Kirsty3051]

Great minds

 

[nicb26]

I agree maybe get one of your relatives to come and stay for a few days. I think I would avoid dropping her at a nursery at 4:30am unless absolutely necessary. You will just be feeling bad the whole time!

Also agree let your husband do some of the necessary care for your daughter now, so that he knows how to handle it when he's on his own, and your daughter will get used to it not always being you.

Do you know where you are on the list for the c section? I got told last time that I was last on the list so they let me come in at 10am instead of 7, so maybe find out as it could buy you a couple of extra hours at home before leaving her.

Hope you work it out x

 

[Almostmom]

Thanks for your responses ladies, I really appreciate it. I spoke to Dh and he says he doesn't see what I'm fussing about because he can and will handle it. But because I don't see him do much of the baby care except occasionally feed or change her I'm still worried.

He doesn't want our relatives to come because they never visit and always expect us to be giving all the time and we'll be like leaving her with strangers.

A friend is going to try get off work the 3 days or at least the first day, in the mean time dh has agreed to take turns baby caring. I need to loose my way or tge highway attitude fast

 

[jodilee6]

Would your nursery even be open at 4:30am?

The earliest mine opens is 7:30am, there definitely wouldn't be any staff about at 4:30am!

 

[DoubleTFun]

I know as a mother sometimes it is hard to let go of the reigns and let our husbands/ SO step up and handle things. Maybe you can take an evening to visit a friend and allow your husband to take care of you daughter for a night including feeding/changing/bathing and bedtime. This way you can realize that all will be okay, and it's a bit of a test run. Do that 2 or 3 times before your CS and hopefully it will alleviate your fears.

I know I have no clue what we will do with my 6 and 8 year old when I go into labor, and the closest family member is 2 hours away. We are still relatively new to our community and haven't made any friends, just aquaintances.

 

[lewood88]

I cant wait for OH to have my girls while im having LO, i know it sounds mean but i hope they play him ip its the wake up call he needs as all he can say to me is i have an easy life sitting on my fat arse all day he wont know whats hit him and my mom would of had her knee replacement by then so she cant help and his mom wont help me either hes all on his own and im excited lmao