I feel constantly stressed. What's wrong with me?

[Starlight32]

I love my daughter so much but I feel stressed when it comes to taking care of her. It makes me feel like I'm a bad mommy! Things have tremendously improved in the past 3 months (she's almost 5 months) because she started sleeping better at 2 months (she hasn't been waking to eat very frequently since then) but naps and bedtime were still s challenge. It's slowly getting better but I feel so paranoid about sleep regression. She sleeps pretty well and I don't think I can handle going back to wakings. Everyone else seems to be such a pro at the mommy stuff and with multiple kids too. I have one and feel constantly stressed

 

[laughingduck]

I felt like that with my first. It was brutal and I may have had post partum anxiety looking back (or may have just been regular sleep deprivation combined with a huge life change!). My second has been so much easier. I thought two would be stressful hell but it's really not for me. Every parent and every baby is different. Some find multiple kids harder but I personally thought the first was waaaay harder. Im sure you are doing a great job. The first year is hard, dont feel bad about being stressed! It will get easier

 

[claireybell]

Def dont feel bad about about getting stressed hun, your not alone & you wouldnt be normal & human if you didnt with a baby, i can probs guarantee every Mother/new Mum gets stressed! As Laughing Duck has said - it does get easier & your doing great before you know it your daughter will be a year old & things will probs seem less stressy

 

[minties]

It's totally normal. I feel the same and I'm on my third.

 

[DandJ]

I've been following your posts for awhile and I feel like we're the same person almost! I have postpartum anxiety and being alone with my daughter gives me anxiety/frightens me because I fear I won't be able to meet her needs if she needs something. Mainly, I need someone around for ME in case I feel overwhelmed and can help me.

My baby girl is 4.5 months and we just transitioned her to her crib last week after sleeping 10+ hours in the RnP. Well, last night she slept 10 hours! We haven't had the regression yet but I'm nervous just thinking about it...

If you ever want to chat, send me a PM!

 

[Starlight32]

Thanks for the replies! Glad I'm not totally crazy. I definitely feel the way you described dandj. My daughter (9 days older than yours) also sleeps well at night recently but I'm just waiting for a regression and worrying! I feel like if she wakes, I don't know how to get her back to sleep. So any night time waking will mean no sleep all night.

 

[PocoHR]

The first year is so hard, you're doing great, I'm sure! Just the fact that you want to do it well is awesome. I only have one baby, and I really think it might be easier the second time around (hopefully I'll get to find out someday). I can only say: it gets easier and easier. Really. And more and more fun

Try not to fear a sleep regression, I did that with my son and it never came. It may never happen. If it comes, you'll deal with it and move on. If she wakes at night, she will sleep again at some point. She's a human being, she will sleep when tired enough.

The best thing I ever did for myself, around this age, was hire someone to come watch my son one day while I was at the house. A babysitter came for five hours while I laid in bed and watched a movie, took a nap, then had a long bath. It was exquisite. I didn't have to worry about him, because I could hear everything that was going on and I was right there if he needed me. But, I was able to finally relax. If you haven't done this yet, do it. Do whatever you need to in order to get a break, and get some time for yourself. Its really important.

 

[TTC First]

I agree...totally normal. No matter how many kids you have, each one will be different. I am a foster parent for infants so I have raised lots of newborns. When I had my first bio child....it was like I was a new parent. My own child is totally different than any of the kids we have fostered.

You are suffering from lack of sleep, so you have had a lot to stress over. Just focus on these days that your lo is sleeping and don't stress over the possibility that the pattern may change.

 

[Pixie19]

I'm a couple of days in with my third. I have postnatal depression from my second still so things aren't easy. I have waves of extreme anxiety that give me diarrhoea and I'm kind of just floating about not knowing what I'm doing.
I have a constant feeling of dread and I'm always stressing about what time baby's next feed is due, worrying about the night time, both my other kids are poorly and not sleeping well. House is a mess despite my husband constantly tidying. I'm a wreck.

Maybe its worth speaking to a doctor? I went undiagnosed with my second for so long and things got scarily bad for me emotionally.

 

[PitaKat]

Lower your expectations, take it one day at a time, and remember that this too shall pass

Also, this sounds like a great idea!

The best thing I ever did for myself, around this age, was hire someone to come watch my son one day while I was at the house. A babysitter came for five hours while I laid in bed and watched a movie, took a nap, then had a long bath. It was exquisite. I didn't have to worry about him, because I could hear everything that was going on and I was right there if he needed me. But, I was able to finally relax. If you haven't done this yet, do it. Do whatever you need to in order to get a break, and get some time for yourself. Its really important.

 

[ChocolateC]

I was the same with my first. TOTALLY different with the second. I still stress when he's sick (which is often, since his older sister passes along germs from daycare), but also realize how needless my stress was before. Every stage will bring its own headaches but every stage will pass. One day your LO will be talking, walking, using the potty, telling you what she likes to eat, etc., and you'll realize that there was no point at all in worrying about the little stuff. Nobody will know or care if she rolled over at 3 months or 5 months, if she walked at 10 months or 14 months. If you did something differently from the guidelines, nobody will judge you, you'll just laugh about it. I'm getting up 5x a night for this little guy and sure I'm jealous of the moms whose LOs sleep through the night, but I am confident that it will pass.

Give yourself a break. Yes, hire a babysitter or get your partner to help while you just relax (NOT to "get things done"!). Eat chocolate.

 

[caz_hills]

I can totally empathise with this. I feel stressed a lot of the time and she is my second. It's certainly less stressful the second time but I feel exhausted reagedless of how much sleep I have as I feel I'm on edge all the time. I think/hope it's a natural reaction to having a young baby! I know I felt more relaxed the older my son got and eventually it was very normal.