I hate my mom!

[hello_kitty]

I can understand if outsiders give me crap (which no one has) but my own mom? I am sick of hearing her saying this "Its your first baby, I dont know why you gave birth so early, I told my friends and they asked if there's something wrong with you". Its always feel like a smack in the face, leaving me speechless. I'm trying to get over the guilt of bringing my son into this world 8 weeks too early, and right when things are about to get better she always makes that remark. She always shove it in my face about how she always carried all her children to term. She's never visited my son once during his stay in the nicu, saying that she's busy. Seriously, how busy can a person be? He's been in there for a month and she doesnt have a spare minute to visit him? Just for this reason alone makes my husband hate her as well. He hates how she makes smart comments, yet doesnt even care about him. Even to this day, I really feel guilty about giving birth early, especially knowing it was due to a bladder infection, such a small problem that could've easily been taken care of by antibiotics. Just wanted to vent.

 

[DragonflyWing]

That's really mean of her to blame you like that...it's not like you decided to have your baby 8 weeks early. As if it's a choice! I would tell her how crappy it makes you feel and tell her to stop...if she continues, I would probably cut off contact until she shapes up. That, plus not even visiting her grandson after a month? *sigh* Very disappointing behavior, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this

 

[hello_kitty]

Thanks Dragonfly Wing. I sent her an updated picture yesterday of him and she said he looks ugly and she thought I grabbed the wrong baby. My baby is NOT ugly. All the nurses and doctors love him and say he looks cute. My husband was so pissed and asked why I even bothered sending her a picture when she didnt even ask for it. To be honest, she has seldom ask about it, I'm usually the one who cant help gushing about him. My husband has requested me to stop giving her details about our son especially since she doenst even care.

 

[DragonflyWing]

WOW. Please don't take offense, because I know this is your mother, but what a bitch. I think I'd have to be held back from scratching out the eyes of anyone who called my baby ugly.

It sounds like she's being deliberately hurtful. Don't give her any more ammo...she obviously doesn't have any interest in being a grandmother to your baby. She doesn't deserve to be!

 

[melany]

I agree with PP your mom is....well..not a nice person.

I had a falling out with my father and it sucks but my life has so much less stress now. It sucks, but maybe you should cut her off for a bit and just keep pics and stuff for people who are supportive.
Gl hun!

 

[mommy0629]

OMG How on earth could she say any of that?! No offense hun but I'd tell her she doesn't even deserve to see my baby at all. That's aweful

 

[Dinah93]

Stop sending her photos or trying to get her approval, she clearly likes to be in control and she won't like it when she isn't. She might even try to be nice. Next time she makes a cruel comment about having a preemie tell her that she carried to term and yet still she's a crappy mother, so clearly gestation in no way impacts upon your skills as a mum.

I do understand the feeling of failing by your little one coming into the world sooner than they wanted to be here, but I remind myself I give my everything to her now she is here, and I can celebrate every tiny milestone a little bit harder than I otherwise might have because there was once a time we weren't sure we were going to see them. Hence the bottle of champagne when she hit 10lbs - not a huge milestone for most but it took DD 26 weeks to get there so it was a joyous moment for us.