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I need an opinion

  • Thread starter Thread starter lizardbreath
  • Start date Start date
I dont agree that she should be taking your girls to her parents, sounds all a bit random. How long have they been going out?? If it is serious then at some point, however crap it sounds, she will probably have to integrate with your LO's to some level. I dont agree with her 'putting her foot down' as she is the one who has to make the effort. I would suggest perhaps you, the girls, FOB and her go out together so that the girls can see you all interact together?? Then work from there maybe.
 
I think I would probably say the same as you to be honest. Either he goes out with me and kids or not at all. I certainly wouldn't put up with her 'demanding' that my children spend time with her and be a 'family'. No way in hell. I would basically say that until they are legally married, she has no rights and no privileges when it comes to my kids. it's a sensitive subject and the fact that she is dictating to YOU says a lot about her character. of course you may have to deal with her in the future if they do settle down but again, your terms, not hers.
 
You are right to put your foot down in my opinion. At this moment in time if they are not married etc, she is not your kids family and has no right to assume otherwise. As for you and FOB, its a good thing you still have a good relationship, not weird at all. Plenty of single parents would love to still be on as good terms with their ex. At her age she should understand that in a ideal world kids should see their parents getting on.
 
I fully agree with you, she has no right at all to have your children, let alone taking them to see her family! :nope: This sounds similar to the situation I'm in, I've had to put my foot down too. Me & FOB are on good terms, it's just his girlfriend I can't stand, she tries to claim Amelia-Rose is her family & she's far from it. If you ever need a chat, feel free to message me. :flower:
 
How long have you and fob been broken up? You say his new woman has been with him for about a year, so I'm wondering, why are you still playing at being a family 3 days a week? Like how exactly does that work?
I guess your kids are still fairly young and I appreciate you want what's best for them but I don't see how you and fob pretending to be a family is a good thing. Isn't it confusing for them?
I don't agree with the gf playing mummy to your kids yet at the same time, if she's with the fob, she will be involved. The same will go for a guy that you get serious about.
Speaking from a bit of experience, I have to say that it would be my personal choice to take my kids out separately from him, whether he has a gf or not. I think birthdays and other celebrations should be separate too. You are not a couple anymore so why are you doing couple things? As the product of divorced parents myself, we do two of everything. We celebrate with both sides.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents so take it for what's it worth. I read all the other replies and while it's nice to have everyone agree with you, to help you feel that you're right, it's not always realistic.
The other option, that works well for lots of people is to trade off and switch every year. That might be something to consider.

ps. smoking is not cool!! I agree with you there!!!
 
You weren't rude at all. I hope I didn't sound judgemental. It was so late when I was online last night.
I think it's wonderful that you and the fob get along, because it's better for the children. As parents we have to put aside our own feelings for the kids. Little kids adjust to all things so much better than we do. I was just trying to figure out why you were asking for an opinion if things are so great. I wanted to give another point of view instead of the usual that seems to happen on here.
There is a wee problem because of the gf. The fob wont be single forever and neither will you so adjusting your family will be necessary. My personal opinion is that neither should miss the first Halloween but I just don't think you should be going out together, just like other holidays. Let us know how your evening turns out :D
 
It all works out so much better if you can get along with FOB, I only argue with Amelia's dad because of the things his girlfriend does. the first day I let FOB take Amelia, he took her round to his girlfriends parents house, I kicked off at him as I thought it was well out of order! :nope: x
 

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