i need some major support!!!!!!!!(LONG)

[stevon111]

hello everyone

i dont know if anyone has seen me on here before but i normally post in the teen section.
I Need some major advice and support here...recently on the 13th feb i found out my girlfriend was on the computer talking to other lads and some of the comments i had found astonished me what she was talking about with them (sexual stuff) and i had the feeling 1 of the lads was someone she has already cheated on me in the past with when i looked into it further.
3 weeks ago me and OH had our baby a totally amazing little girl we called faye just bringing in some background stuff there.
i thought i would leave it and not say anything to my OH and see what would happen next and as days passed and other messages built up when i found out she was then talking to someone she seen way in the past who lives quite a distance away from myself in middlesborough and then i found out she was talking to someone who is 1 of her family friends who actually works where i work..all 3 people she was talking to she was talking dirty to every single 1 of them...and what broke my heart and made me say something 2 days ago was when i seen that she had told the person who works at my place that she would have sex again and swore on my daughters life that she would in the summer sometime,,,it made me confront her 2 nights ago when i found all this and i always had the feeling something was going on behind my back when she was up at 2-3-4 in the morning on the laptop and i found out she was also doing this when i was at work...


anyways i decided to confront her by going into the bathroom upstairs and told her i thought it would be best if we split with eachother and she didnt know why i was telling her this and called herself a stupid fool who always gets hurt by other lads...i then told her NO I AM THE FOOL HERE and she was wondering what i ment from that...i then told her i knew what she had been doing on the computer late at night and through the day and she told me it was only the 1 person she was doing it with..i told her she was lying and she then said it was 2 people and she promised and then i said again...STOP lying to me i know alot more than you think here.. and then she confessed it was 3 people she had been doing all this with...i then just said i know everything so you may aswel tell me the full truth what has been going on...and she just kept digging herself a bigger and bigger hole and i said well i can find out alot more about what has been happening within minutes..she said fine.
anyways the next day she left to go to her dads which was yesterday and i got back from work and found out more stuff she has been doing watching other lads doing things on webcam and at the time she was sitting right next to my 3 week old daughter all this time...
i then told her last night to just stay at her dads becouse i am just sick of the LIES all the time and i dont seem to be finding out from her what is really going on and why would she do this after i have fully supported her though the pregnancy and i have been there all the time since my daughter was born...
i decided to take faye to my OHs parents house last night becouse faye needs to bond with her mother and i said i will see her today. today i have found out that my OH went out drinking last night and left my daughter to be looked after by my OHs parents...

guys i really need some support here becouse my head is just everywhere at the moment and i dont think i can really go back to her becouse she has just done something so so serious i just cant physically do this.
i need my OH to really do something to take care of my daughter and as much as i hate her for what she has done i need my daughter to be supported and loved by my OH


SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY

 

[sophxx]

so sorry this has happened

how long has it been going on? is it just since the baby was born? is she bonding with the baby? x

 

[Mumof42009]

You need to get to the bottom of why she has done all this to you? Is there any underlying issues with her? Is she the type of person who will sit down and talk with you?

Hope you get this sorted for your dd's sake.

 

[mumslilmonkey]

I am so sorry to here about this. Thats simply not right at all. I hope everything will work out for you, and for the baby's sake.
Hope all goes well

 

[Rhio92]

You sound like such a caring father and OH to her So sorry for what's going on x

 

[teal]

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this I hope you can sort something out xx

 

[sarahxx]

you sound like you're putting your everything into the baby, that's so good. what is happening is awful, but you can't put up with that, she obviously thought she could get away with it and wasn't happy when you caught her out.
i don't know any advice to give you, hope it gets sorted out soon and just concentrate on the baby.
xxx

 

[sweetlullaby]

I have no idea what to suggest.

Your LO is 3 weeks old? Has this been going on for long or just since LO was born? Could it be PND and she's not bonding with LO and reacting by flirting and being "dirty" with other random people online?

She really shouldn't be going out and getting drunk and leaving a newbon baby with her parents etc but if it's really out of character for her I'd phone her midwife/hv and get them to come out and speak to her to make sure she's ok/bonding with LO etc.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Was she like this before she got pregnant/had the baby? like sweet lullaby said maybe there is something wrong, maybe post partum depression?

 

[billy2mm]

i dont think having a night out is a big problem and she is "neglecting" lo imo.

if thats the only thing she has done that think isnt right for lo then there is nothing to worry about.

if she hasnt bonded with lo then there is a problem.

she needs a place of her own where her and lo can live together and money to live off of.

i think your relationship is done as she doesnt seem capable of telling the truth and you are always going to be thinking "is that true?", "is she lying again?" and that is no way to live - trust me i tried it for 4 years.

 

[littlekitten8]

Sorry to hear this. I agree with the others that if this is out of character for her then it could be PND. Has she bonded with Faye? You say you took her over to her mothers. Does that mean you are looking after Faye with her mother just having contact?

 

[stevon111]

its been little over 2 weeks now and i just cannot see still any fight there at all from her side..i still think this is still happening with her talking to other lads while she is living with her dad and step mum i spoke to her a few nights ago and invited her around for half an hour..we then took faye out at night and as i was walking to her i just said that i didint know what was going on between us both and asked her how she was feeling with me and her being apart and she just seemed to say wht i was expecting (just being nice about everything) then she goes out driniking 1 night and i find out she has been saying happy birthday to 1 of the lads who she was talking dirty to and she also told me about the other lad still persisting texting her but she had told him that hes caused enought hasstle between me and her and told him to leave her alone (which again i think is just lies) she told me the reason she did all this and spoke to these lads was becouse that they would be easy for her to talk to etc with them being with her in the past before...

im really struggling to work out is why does it have to be me who talks about things and why cant she not bring things up...
i never understand why if she still loves me she doesnt tell me...
i dont understand if she told me she would never speak to them again..she goes on facebook and wishes 1 of them happy birthday...

im really struggling to come to terms with everything....
any help?