I think I'm losing it....

[JamieX]

Hi girls, I'm sorry this thread is gonna be depressing, but I just needed someone to talk to....My life has been such a roller coaster ride ever since I have been expecting my third baby....

This baby, is definitely a blessing, though I wasn't entirely prepared for this, and it was definitely a emotional struggle initially, as DH and myself ain't earning impressive dollars every month....

I do cry myself to sleep at night sometimes, thinking about the monies...and i think i am becoming very calcutive over every dime now, when I used to be so generous, and turning into a monster sometimes to my DD, she is nine.

She likes inviting her cousins home during vacations, and needless to say, we provide the 3 meals a day for them. Thsi has been on-going for years, during their school vacations.
I finally told dd 2 days ago that we could not afford to do this everytime, but recently, she started inviting them again.
This time round, I could hardly take it anymore, I told my DD i am not running some kind of charity at home, and she will be deprived of buying any new stuffs from now on, since she likes me provide meals for her cousins everytime.

Is it myself or my hormones turning me upside down? I have not spoken to my DD for a day now. Ever since I have been pregnant this time, I haven't been myself, I tried very hard to be happy and positive, really. But after trying too hard, I just break down. I am even begining to hate going home after work, because everytime i see her cousins in my home, i just hate it. With more kids in my home, my bills goes up too...Now i hate everyone at home for putting me though this.

I think I am getting prenatal depression....

 

[Layla]

i can kind of relate, this is my 4th baby and he was/is very much wanted but the pregnancy in the 2nd tri really affected me emotionaly, i was a totaly mess most of the time, money wise we are teh same, we dont earn lots each month but we do earn enough to get by if we are careful, the kids do activites after school every week night and that along with pocket money and inviting friends over was killing us, so in the end i gave them a choice, after sdchool clubs, or pocket money, they wanted teh after school clubs so now they do jobs for me around teh house and that pays for them to go out and have there fun.

I also went loopy on my hubby, i accused him everyday of having affiars, of lieing to me, of not loving me etc, i really went rock bottom as far as my self esteem goes.

But since getting to the 3rd tri its eased right off and i can look back now and see how stupid and crazy i was being. (not that im saying your stupid or crazy! lol)

I do think its hormones, i didnt have any emotional problems in my other pregnancies so i didnt expect to with this one, so when it happend it hit me hard and i was very confused.

Just remember each pregnancy is diffrent, hopefuly it will pass for you soon

x

 

[JamieX]

Thanks Layla, for making me feel that I am not alone...

Yeah, I don't know why this has hit me so hard, I can just cry just thinking about it. Crying spells definitely worked well on me this time.

I hope I can get over soon, just like you.

 

[Linzi]

I cant relate as this is my first, but maybe just sit down with your daughter and explain that your hormones are everywhere and you might be getting abit snappy because of it, but also babies are expensive and unfortunately you cant afford to do everything as you used to.

If you feel low or depressed, I would see your doctor or midwife. My doctor has been very supportive of me, and has arranged regular appointments to check up on my mental health as I have a bit of a history with it.

Hope you'll feel better soon love and try not to beat yourself up about it. Its a difficult time, Im sure.

xxx

 

[JamieX]

Thanks Linzi...

I am really trying hard, trying very hard to remind myself that there is someone up there who will always be watching over me.

it's just so hard, and I'm worried my condition would affect my baby too. It's been a good 24 weeks my toil on my emotions. I laughed to myself before, by 40 weeks, I could jolly have lost my mind......