I Think Its Going To Cause An Arguement :s

[GoogilyBear]

My OH insists that the baby has his last name (Sansome) even though we are not married.

I am fine with this, or, at least i thought i was, untill i told my parents it was going to be a Sansome.

My mother hit the roof. she said he has no right, this baby is a King and it will be untill you get married.

I told my father, who then wanted to kill my OH on the spot for being outragous.

What do i do? I would like it to be a King, then get it changed if me and OH ever get married. But then again, i dont want his side of the family to get the wrong idea :s

My father seems to think that if me and my OH split, he would have a better chance at claiming custordy for the baby as it will have his last name :s

I really dont know what to do

 

[RubyRainbows]

My advice is always the same -- i feel the baby & momma should always have the same last name.

When & if you marry the FOB then you will both have the last name Sansome.

If you end up breaking-up, would you want your baby to have FOB's last name & a different last name than you? Picture enrolling him at school... filling out insurance forms... signing him up for anything really. Would you want to have different last names?

I didn't give my son his father's last name, and i'm so thankful now... 3 years later... since we are no longer together.

OH & his family will get over it. Maybe the 1st or middle name can be a special name from OH's side of the family.... that will make them happy!

Good luck!

 

[GoogilyBear]

Oo heck Lol. i am so worried about trying to talk to him properly about it.. he is so awkward to talk to when he is stuck in his ways.

all i can say is wish me luck. i really hope it doesnt cause i riot on his side of the family.

 

[Pyrrhic]

I was married, had a baby and am now getting a divorce. My daughter has a different surname to me and I hate it. All through her school years she will have a different surname and her Dad hardly bothers with her.

Unless you are married, I strongly recommend you have your surname and change it in future if you are both happy to.

Who cares what his family think tbh. If he's not putting a ring on your finger it's none of their business.

 

[GoogilyBear]

That really made me chuckle lol...

" if hes not putting a ring on your finger its none of there buisness".. hehe
i doubt he ever will marry me hahaha. so i will have a serious talk with him.
ive just gotta get round the little sweet looks he gives me and when he acts all cute and trys to get me rapped round his lil finger :/ x

 

[discoclare]

See I think it makes no difference whether you have the same surname as your child or not. I don't have the same surname as my daughter, so what? My parents divorced as a child and my mum remarried, I was the only person in my family of 5 with my surname and it made no difference to me or my upbringing. OH wants to marry me, however if and when we get married I still have no intention of changing my name to his and Arianna's. I've my surname for 35 years and have a professional career and lots of publications under it so don't intend on having a different one now.

Having said all that, if you want your child to have your surname then that's what you should do. The registrar said to us that it's easy to change from mother's name to father's name but if you give father's name to start it can be difficult to change it back to mother's at a later date if you want (not sure why it should be harder the other way). So if in doubt about your future together it may be better to give yours and change to his later if you get married. Who cares if his family are upset?

Lastly, your dad is a bit confused (to say the least). It doesn't matter whose name the baby has, parental rights are legally established in the UK by names on the birth certificate. If the father's name is on the birth certificate he will have parental rights and responsibilities, it makes no odds what the name of the child is. In order to do this he will have to attend to register the birth with you. A judge doesn't award custody based on surname.

 

[fairy_gem]

In my opinion the baby should always take the dads surname if mum and dad are together, regardless of whether they are married or not. If dad is absent then i think baby should take mums surname.

x

 

[LunaRose]

Personally we were going to give our son a double barrelled surname as we aren't married. I changed my mind at the last minute because our surnames sound silly together! We gave him OHs name in the end as it's tradition to take the mans name. I think it's just personal preference!

If you don't think you will marry him, I would double barrel the surname to keep both families happy and then take his off if you ever break up.

It's complete nonsense that the father would have more legal right over the child if they had his surname!