I want to be happy :(

[jaytee146]

I don't want to be filled with anger from all fob put me through.. When I see him I literally want to run in the opposite direction but I grit my teeth and stay... I'm just tired of fussing all the time over small things because he wants control over my life.. Tired of sleepless nights and not being able to fully trust him to keep lo over night because he's a little boy incapable of being honest about anything.

I'm just mentally drained and tired of people trying to use me... I checked my account today and all i have to my name is 8 dollars and fob's reasoning is to wait on childsupport to come..... I tried to apply for assistance with food and because he's made one payment it makes me ineligable to recieve assistance of any kind. I'm tired of struggling and I know this journey is only beginning.. just wanted to talk to some who understands.

 

[whatwillbe]

Totally understand hun, i hate this anger that i feel all the time too it would be great to get to a point of indifference, i dnt have much advice but stay strong

 

[Dezireey]

The anger about this type of hurt doesn't go away overnight, that's for sure. Ive been hurt before in relationships, badly for one or two but nothing compares to the anger, disappointment, betrayal and sheer hurt you feel when a man leaves you pregnant and alone or leaves you and his child for whatever reason. Hurts bad too if you still love him.Though I love my boy more than life itself, he is a permanent reminder that his Dad left us. It's something that cannot be undone. The anger will probably always be there but you will learn to supress it and control it and one day it will be less and less. Give yourself time and accept that it's normal to feel like this.I spent so much time hating my FOB I had no hate left. So now I am more at peace with things and my LO makes up for everything and keeps me occupied.

 

[davekennedy]

There is a quote I once heard that really helped me to let go and forgive those....I am paraphrasing but here it is....

"Holding onto anger and resentment releases toxins in our body that actually ends up harming us, not the ones who have wronged us."

So basically, by being angry and resentful you are actually harming yourself. So try and find a way to forgive. Write down your negative thoughts. See them for what they are. This can free your mind.

Try and look for all the things in your life right now that you can be grateful for. Write them down on a piece of paper and pin them up where you can read them regularly....in the morning, before sleep, when you feel down. Add to the list.

Don't allow those that have wronged you to rent space inside your mind and body.

As soon as you start to think and dwell on the negative, immediately stop. Take a deep breathe. Focus on your breathing in and out. Keep doing it.

You have a choice what thoughts you have.

You have a choice to focus on the positive.

Set big goals for yourself and your child and focus on them. Empower yourself.

 

[jaytee146]

There is a quote I once heard that really helped me to let go and forgive those....I am paraphrasing but here it is....

"Holding onto anger and resentment releases toxins in our body that actually ends up harming us, not the ones who have wronged us."

So basically, by being angry and resentful you are actually harming yourself. So try and find a way to forgive. Write down your negative thoughts. See them for what they are. This can free your mind.

Try and look for all the things in your life right now that you can be grateful for. Write them down on a piece of paper and pin them up where you can read them regularly....in the morning, before sleep, when you feel down. Add to the list.

Don't allow those that have wronged you to rent space inside your mind and body.

As soon as you start to think and dwell on the negative, immediately stop. Take a deep breathe. Focus on your breathing in and out. Keep doing it.

You have a choice what thoughts you have.

You have a choice to focus on the positive.

Set big goals for yourself and your child and focus on them. Empower yourself.

thanks Dave, I needed to hear that thanks for your post ladies