I'm a freak!!!

[superp123]

Well ladies it's been about a month now since my mc. One of my close friends is 6mths pg and I have been avoiding her for obvious reasons. I did let her know when the mc happened that I would be lying low for awhile and I hope she understood and she's been fabulous about it. Well today I finally plucked the courage to call her and see how she's doing, how things are going etc. It was a really nice to talk to her again, lots of small talk and catch up stuff.
Any way, the freak part... So she wants to drop off some things for the boys that she's cleaned out of her teenage boys closet, so I agreed. The freak part is that while she was here I couldn't stop being weirded out by her bump. It was like talking to someone with a wart on their nose... you try not to stare but you do unwillingly anyway. I think at one point she actually caught me. I'm just standing there having this out of body experiance, thinking 'I wish that were me' and 'stop looking at her you weird woman'. I tell you I'm a total nut job!!
I expected to be completly fine with her, and I was totally caught off gaurd by my emotions. Last mc I had I was so jealous/mad of pg women I couldn't even stand to see them in public, it would just send me off. But this time, it's just like a longing a totally different kind of jealousy that I didn't count on.
All is well, I'm dealing, focusing on my goals and not getting down about it. It's just one of those weird parts of the process though that you don't realize how mc effects you... even after you've had one, it still sneaks up on you from time to time.
Lots of hugs girls.
P

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I am sure it will get better with time... I know when we were ttc and my best friend got pregnant, I got jealous but I got over it, but I know a little how you feel minus the m/c part... GOod Luck!!

 

[cherylanne]

I completely understand that. I know i stare at pregnant women who pass me by, i can't help it. It's like i'm drawn to their bump.

Friends of mine have recently had a baby and when we went round with a gift i was actually jealous that she had all her friends round looking at the new baby and telling their eldest how lucky she is to have a new baby brother, i just thought "it's not fair, i want that to be us" i felt awful though she is such a great friend.

to you hun

 

[charveyron]

I do exactly the same thing!! The trouble is theres bumps everywhere I go, so I keep bumping into things/people

 

[Freya]

hi superp123, had really similar experiences to you - so just wanted to post to let you know it's totally normal..... unless it's just us 2 of course!

I saw the world in pregnancy bumps, prams and babies for a long time. It slowly stopped being so 'in your face' for me....

Sending hugs - you do whatever you need to do hun. xx

 

[Omi]

I totally agree with everyone else. You're not a freak!! In fact there's a woman at work who i overheard in the lift saying she's due in September. That was when i was due. I cannot help to think everytime i see her- which is luckily very seldom- that should have been me!

Ah, well.. one just moves on and i just embrace all the feelings i have since i think they're only normal.. although i dont tell anyone about it but OH, mum and you guys- cause you guys all understand!

Big hugs to ya, sweetie,

Omi xxx

 

[superp123]

hi superp123, had really similar experiences to you - so just wanted to post to let you know it's totally normal..... unless it's just us 2 of course!

I saw the world in pregnancy bumps, prams and babies for a long time. It slowly stopped being so 'in your face' for me....

Sending hugs - you do whatever you need to do hun. xx

OMG, That's exactly it... "seeing the world in bumps, prams and babies"! Today I went to the Zoo with the boys and DH and TONS of pg women everywhere. I never realized how many there are in the world at any given moment. LOL
Any way, I'm just keeping on keepin' on, gonna drop this spare tire and get knocked up. ASAP!!!
Thanks for putting it into words for me, it helps so much that there are other women out there who know and understand me perfectly. Thanks thanks, thanks, I don't know what I'd do w/o all of you.
P

 

[Mynxie]

I understand huni, it's the things that you aren't prepared for sting the most. One of the things that got me was after my 2nd MC I was sat outside the chemist and a baby boy was out in his pram with his dad and mam, and the baby gave me a huge smile...and I really had to fight back the tears. Your friend would have understood though sweetie

 

[Logiebear]

I'm with you there, everyone else is pregnant aren't they?? I have 18, yes 18 friends who are currently pregnant!!! It hurts to see them and one of my closest friends has the same EDD that I had 25th Nov. So She had her 20 week scan the other day and she didn't find out the sex and she felt she couldn't tell me that she had had the scan. One other is having a section this Friday so I will have my phone with me all day so I can find out quickly!! I need to live vicariously through them right now and I couldn't be without them all!! I hope that makes sense xxx

 

[buffycat]

you're not a freak! and even if you are, then all of us here are! perfectly natural....i guess it is the way that the human mind notices things.....

3 months on, and i get very envious of others still......my friend even showed me her bump the other day (she doesn't know i had a mc)....she's 30 weeks and not a stretch mark in sight either!

 

[owo]

No way are you a freak, if so I am too.
It does seem that the world is full of pregnant women or new born babies. I too never noticed this until i miscarried.
It is totally normal to think you are doing ok and then be surprised when your emotions catch you off guard. Over the last two months i have had many times when i thought that i was over the miscarriage and had moved on and then somethin silly would set me off like a TV Advert or something like that.
It does improve. My sister told my nephew that i had a baby in my belly and he was so excited, she didn't have the heart to tell him that it wasn't there anymore (he's only four), she knew i'd be trying again soon and he doesn't really have any concept of how long 9 months is yet. A couple of weeks ago he asked me how long before my baby comes, and was surprised that i was ok with that question, i just told him that not until my belly gets really big.
My point is, that little things will knock you off guard, but eventually you will be ok and that will surprise you too.
Take Care
xx

 

[NikiJJones]

I'm just like this too. DH has started having to tell me not to stare when in public and I spot a bump. I thought I was obsessed before my BFP, but I'm ten times worse after MC. If I ever get that elusive bump, and catch any lady staring at me, I will probably have to go and give her a hug. And I'll probably end up getting arrested!!!
xxxx

 

[gem]

You are so not alone and definately not a freak. My best friend is 7 months pregnant and I don't know how to be around her. I'm worried she feels uncomfortable around me too, she almost seems embarrassed. When I saw her a couple of days ago I put my hand on her bump and I saw the look of empathy in her eyes. That made me feel really sad. She has been great though and rings me most days to see how I am.
Everywhere I look I too see pregnant women or couples with babies. I find myself smiling at them but inwardly I hurt. My husband is so desperate to be a daddy, I see him looking longingly at babies and pregnant women when we're out and wish I could give him that soon. We went to a wildlife park on Sunday and it became unbareable by the end of the day, I though I'd be ok but it was pregnant women/babies overload. The worst time is when, as someone earlier posted, a baby looks at you and smiles. That happened on Sunday and I couldn't hold back the tears. x

 

[Loo]

You are not weird! I feel the same way too. Bumps bloody everywhere!

Worst day was when i went in for my medical m/c and the woman sitting next to me in the waiting room had a little kid with her, who she was sooooo not interested in (probably really worried about what ever operation she was going to have) and I felt like screaming at her (but thankfully I didn't!) about how lucky she is to have been able to have children etc etc.

A few of my friends got pregnant at the same time as me. I m/c but they went on to have babies very close to my EDD. I never told them about my pregnancy, so they have no idea why I am acting so odd!

Anyway, for some reason, once they had had the baby, my jealousy was much less than when it had been a 'bump'. Not sure why, but I am grateful!

Here's a bit of luck for us all x