I'm back and feel like a failure!

[rachjim98]

First of all to all you lovely Ladies and so sorry for your losses and that we are on this section of the forum!

I found out Tuesday night that I lost another baby. This one @ 6weeks. I am devastated and have now come to the realization that my body cant do what it is suppose to do anymore I am 32 years old have 2 beautiful children (9 and 6) and now 2 angel babies (one @ 19+5 weeks and one @ 6 weeks).

This morning my Dr. calls to tell me my blood work I had done last week has come back with some bad news (you think)!!!
I have been diagnosed with Toxoplasmosis, which I apparently picked up from my cats or the stray that has been going in my garden! They now believe this is what also caused my Late term MC with Rebecca. I was not screened for this with that pregnancy.

This has just floored us and we have now made a decision. I go in next Friday to have a Tubal Ligation. I can not go through this anymore and will not put my heart and my soul out there again to be ripped out and stomped on. I do not deserve this and just cant understand why this keeps happening to me! So sorry to ramble on I hope all of you are doing OK or as well as you can

 

[babytots]

oh hunni i am so so sorry for your loss and for the loss of your daughter rebecca.

i am glad that they have found a cause as to why though i know it doesnt make it any easier.

i'm sorry to hear you feel you cant go through this again and your such a brave women for making such a big descion and i hope in time the pain eases and you learn to smile again. x

 

[Jkelmum]

so sorry xx

 

[SadMummy]

I am so sorry for you honey....

Are they going to be able to treat it for you?

 

[rachjim98]

I am so sorry for you honey....

Are they going to be able to treat it for you?

Hey there,
They are going to put me on antibiotics I go in at 2pm today to get some more blood drawn and to get the first round. But as far as me being able to have another successful pregnancy my Dr. highly doubts my body with allow it and doesn't recommend us trying again. So there for we have chosen the tubal Ligation.

 

[roc]

i'm so sorry for your losses
You're very brave.

 

[MrsO29]

I am so sorry for your loss. I completely understand your decision.

We also agreed that if this one doesn't work for us, rather than being 'investigated', we will just not try again. We are blessed with our dd, and we are not going to keep going through this, it's too much.

Good luck hun xx

 

[natasja32]

Aw sweetie im so sorry! I dont really know what to say. Im sorry you have to go through this again. Life is so unfair. I hope you dont mind me asking but is it because of the toxoplasmosis that the dr adviced you against getting pregnant again? I wish i could make it better for you hunny. If you need to talk PM me. You have been such a rock and insperation to me when i lost my little Bodhi.I wish i could help more

 

[Shelby2007]

Rach.. Im thinking of you.. xx

 

[rachjim98]

Thanks for the hugs sweetie and the kind words Ladies

Aw sweetie im so sorry! I dont really know what to say. Im sorry you have to go through this again. Life is so unfair. I hope you dont mind me asking but is it because of the toxoplasmosis that the dr adviced you against getting pregnant again? I wish i could make it better for you hunny. If you need to talk PM me. You have been such a rock and insperation to me when i lost my little Bodhi.I wish i could help more

Natasja,
It is that and the fact that my body and mind have just been through so much. I am anemic and now I have this disease that might have done some more damage to my already fragile system. So today I go and have more blood work to see just what we are dealing with.
To be honest I just don't think I want to do it again. I had some doubts if I wanted to try again after we lost Rebecca. But I was starting to get excited again thinking lightning wouldn't strike me twice, but also unaware I had something wrong with me. And it did. and now my Dr. saying he just doesn't think my body is right or if it will be right anytime soon. I believe our decision is the right one for all of involved.

 

[embo216]

Oh I'm so sorry hun

 

[dan-o]

Oh my god, I can't believe this news, I am so sorry rachjim

If the antibiotics work, is there a chance you would be OK again? Or is the virus for life?

Sending lots of

 

[CarCam]

I am so sad to hear about your news. The decision you have come to is a very brave one. I know what you mean when you say you can't keep experiencing this hurt that is beyond painful.

I am so scared to get pregnant again myself. Excited...but SCARED.

I hope that you can finally feel some peace while moving forward.

 

[Aidedhoney]

Honey i am so sorry for your losses xxx

 

[rachjim98]

Oh my god, I can't believe this news, I am so sorry rachjim

If the antibiotics work, is there a chance you would be OK again? Or is the virus for life?

Sending lots of

Hey Dan-o thanks for the hugs. I am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it all as well.
I just got back from the Dr's and he told me that the antibiotics are just to stop the flair up I have right now because of me being anemic. A lot of people have this and never have trouble with it. I just happen to have a weakened immune system because of my low iron count. But yes this is a virus I will have for life. My body may or may not build up immunity to it just depends on if I can get my system healthy enough to do that. I am so pissed off right now that I am in this pain again I hate feeling this way(so helpless and hopeless)
DH is beside himself, but we are still going through with the surgery I had my pre surgery blood and check up today.

 

[Snowball]

Gosh, I am so so sorry

 

[DiddyDons]

I am so sorry to hear this babe I wish I could make it better!

 

[Baby-Cakes]

Can't believe it and really don't know what to say. You and your family don't deserve this. Thinking of you all xxx

 

[Staceyxxx]

So sorry

 

[wishing4bub#3]

omg massive hugs to you and your family. i want to say something but not sure what to say. i am so sorry for you. life does suck! i hope your heart and body heal soon so that you can smile again
((((((HUGS)))))))