I'm back in here.

[Laura2919]

Hi Everyone, I was here in March 2010 and then OH and I decided to try again, a year and a bit later and I am back.

Hard pill to swallow really because now I wish I had just kept going, kept being strong and I would have moved on and had a better life. Now I am here again and having to do it all over again.

I dont know what keeps pulling me in but I need to find it because this HAS to be the last time I keep doing it to myself and the girls.


Hope your all well

 

[JessdueJan]

 

[Snowball]

 

[emf81]

Hi, you can't beat youself up over past choices!! You did what you thought right at the time. Who knows where you will be this time next year xx

 

[kirst1805]

hun.

Xxxxx

 

[Laura2919]

Thank you

He came to my flat last night to pick up his things and said 'how are you' I just ignored him and carried on talking about this weekend as he has the twins from Friday to Sunday as I am having an op on my hand. He said can you just talk to me please so I said I dont want to discuss anything but the girls.
Im used to being alone so this time it doesnt feel too bad. Just wish I never bothered in the first place.

 

[MummyJade]

Hey, I've been there with my daughters dad, and lately i thought i wanted him back,
but thinking of it i actually dont! and i just gotta keep strong cos i know if i give in, come a few months i will be in the same place as i was last time when it all went wrong...

you will be fine, i hope your op goes well xx

 

[Laura2919]

Hi MummyJade, We have been tooing and froing since forever! We have split up and got back together and then last year we were apart for 14 weeks, I took him back and tbh nothing changed, I lived in the flat on my own with the girls and he would come and see us but I am happy this time, it feels different, we have sorted out when he will have the girls and when I will have them and even me going to slimming world and him sitting with the girls until I am back.
I just feel the only hurdle I will face is him moving on, I think its a big factor as to why I took him back the last time. I just dont want to do it again. I just want a fresh clean break and that be it.

Thanks, I hope I am up and running with my hand by the end of the week, two kids, a dog and a house to keep! Lol.

 

[Coleey]

Lots of chick xxx

 

[MummyJade]

Hi MummyJade, We have been tooing and froing since forever! We have split up and got back together and then last year we were apart for 14 weeks, I took him back and tbh nothing changed, I lived in the flat on my own with the girls and he would come and see us but I am happy this time, it feels different, we have sorted out when he will have the girls and when I will have them and even me going to slimming world and him sitting with the girls until I am back.
I just feel the only hurdle I will face is him moving on, I think its a big factor as to why I took him back the last time. I just dont want to do it again. I just want a fresh clean break and that be it.

Thanks, I hope I am up and running with my hand by the end of the week, two kids, a dog and a house to keep! Lol.

Sounds like me and my FOB! we was just like that! he did have a girlfriend for like 3 months and i was gutted! but then i got mad cos he like forgot our daughter, but he split with her now, and living back at his mums ... even now i think i need him, when i dont! like last night he came over to see Maizie has he has court today and he had to pop out (something dodgy knowing him) then came back and i thought this is how my life was before we split, i don't want to go back there again... he hasn't changed!

yeah defo, i have one kid, a dog, a kitten a house! after an hour my house is trashed! x

 

[Laura2919]

Its funny because he is on FB being his 'normal' self but he was nearly crying here yesterday wanting to talk to me about how I felt. Its hard but I havent cried today and I dont feel bad. I have a little fear inside me that I will miss the girls when they are with him and I will have nobody but in reality I have loads of people, mum, dad, brother, sister, my best friend, other friends. Lots of different people and I will get over it sooner rather than later. I just want a fresh start. Sounds like you did yourself a favour.

Even tonight I was at mum and dads for dinner and dad was like its a phase you two will be fine but we wont and I want people to see that. I felt like rubbish around him, he did that, he made me feel like that. The more I think about it the more I know why this time is different.

 

[MummyJade]

Its funny because he is on FB being his 'normal' self but he was nearly crying here yesterday wanting to talk to me about how I felt. Its hard but I havent cried today and I dont feel bad. I have a little fear inside me that I will miss the girls when they are with him and I will have nobody but in reality I have loads of people, mum, dad, brother, sister, my best friend, other friends. Lots of different people and I will get over it sooner rather than later. I just want a fresh start. Sounds like you did yourself a favour.

Even tonight I was at mum and dads for dinner and dad was like its a phase you two will be fine but we wont and I want people to see that. I felt like rubbish around him, he did that, he made me feel like that. The more I think about it the more I know why this time is different.

FOB don't fb but when he calls to talk to little one he goes on bout his normal shit! and i just think my god what was i doing!

I miss LO loads when she goes off with her dad but i also like the peace and quiet and the me time, you got loads of people you will never feel lonely...

My mum says that too me you will be back together etc... but i don't want to be, i don't want to live on lies and broken promises! yeah i may sit alone at night but i did that when i was with him...

You get to a stage where you think thats it, whats the point you only end up back at square 1 where your left hurt!

xx

 

[Laura2919]

Lol I wish my parents would have some faith in me. Ive told my best mate to give me a black eye if I even contemplate going back, she said sure! What are best friends for aye!

I am looking forward to my fresh start. just hope to see in the new year single and enjoying life

 

[Rhio92]

xxx

 

[MummyJade]

You can always count on your best friend.... mine told me she was going to come down and slap the thoughts outta my head!

Its horrible when they don't believe you, i just think oh bugger off i can do this....
a fresh start is great, you will feel 100% better about yourself and everything...

you can go out with the girls in town and let your hair down and not worry..

x

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah when we were last apart I had the girls all the time. Now its going to be every other weekend and one day during the week I feel better and be able to plan my weekends when I have and dont have the girls. Can plan nights out and when I have the girls I can take them over to see my friends and family.

I dont miss him at all. Maybe thats a good sign lol

 

[mummy_ellie09]

Massive hugs Laura xx
I'm here for you

 

[Laura2919]

Thank you.

Oh and I forgot to say last night at my mum and dads dad admitted he had been smoking again and FOB has known for ages, when someone asks him to not tell me something he doesnt! Its made me a little bit upset but I wont even give him the satisfaction, he knew my brother was expecting a baby 5 weeks before I found out!

 

[MummyJade]

Thank you.

Oh and I forgot to say last night at my mum and dads dad admitted he had been smoking again and FOB has known for ages, when someone asks him to not tell me something he doesnt! Its made me a little bit upset but I wont even give him the satisfaction, he knew my brother was expecting a baby 5 weeks before I found out!

what he knew 5 weeks before you! how odd and he shouldn't of kept anything from you, you was his partner!

yeah don't give him the satisfaction... i don't miss FOB either, that night he came to mine left again then came back, just pissed on that little flame still burning!

Planning your weekends is good, i hated not knowing if i was coming or going when it came to him collecting little one... xx

 

[AppleBlossom]