Im trying too!!!!!!!

[lucy_smith]

"im trying too" is all i want to scream to my family and my inlaws!

all i want is another baby, i want my little kiddies to be close in age. we have been trying since she was 2 months old, she is now almost 10 months!

my family have been going on at me for a few months now, but my mother inlaw just said to me on the phone that she probably is out of line for saying this.... but i really should be thinking about baby number two if i want them close in age..... i honestly teared up on this end of the phone....

ive orderd the clearblue fertility monitor in the hope that it helps some....

what do you all say to family and close friends when they question when? should i just be truthful? and be like.... well actually we are trying and have been for 8 months now.... so please leave me alone?

 

[Weebles]

I honestly wish I never told anyone I was trying. Next month will be cycle 8 for me as well and people say quite often, "Are you pregnant yet?!" I usually just say nope or not yet. Something short in hopes they drop it. I know they are trying to be supportive but ttc is such a touchy subject. Everyone wants you to have a baby wether you tell them you're trying or not. Pick your poison so to speak. If someone said that to me I would say something like "I'm well aware," in a firm enough tone to hopefully end the conversation and make it obvious it was not something I wished to discuss. Unless of course it was someone I knew I could confide in, then it might be nice to vent so long as they don't ask the dreaded, "Are you pregnant yet?" question that always seems to pops up.

 

[WishnandHopn]

Recently when I bumped into a friend who asked 'no baby yet?' I was truthful and said we had been trying for a few months and it just hadn't happened yet. She had the nerve to suggest we try a turkey baster or get on waiting list for adoption!!! Ugh...my instinct is now to deflect all of those questions from nosy people.

With close friends and family who ask, if you don't want to confide and get into an in depth discussion about what you're going through, you could brush it off with "we're working on it" and change the subject. I have confided in my mom and a couple of close friends about it, but my husband has not told his own parents that we're TTC. I think he doesn't want to get their hopes up.

 

[lucy_smith]

i honestly think i might say something next time they mention it, i trust my inlaws and my family and think it might help just to be open with someone.... but the reasons you mentioned are the reasons i don't want to..... but then again i just feel like i could do with some support.....

who knows ! i just feel very alone.....

my mil did just have the exact same conversation with my oh on the phone tonight, which makes me feel better as she is telling her son too.

and then im sat here trying to work out what to do about childcare for my first and discuss going back to work full or part time..... if i go back full time i will get full maternity pay next time if it happens but wont if i go back part time...

 

[WishnandHopn]

Maybe start small...carefully choose one person you trust to share your whole story with and see how you feel. Make it clear that if you have news or want to talk about it, you will, but if you don't bring it up, they shouldn't either. I have a friend who I've confided in, she is very sensitive and never asks me anything about how it's going. She knows that if I need to vent I will, but she would never be the first to ask. Some people are great listeners...others feel like they need to give advice (good or bad!). I think we all know someone like that!

 

[mumlibby]

i like to keep it to myself as i get to many negative comments when i tell anyone good luck sweets x

 

[Leinzlove]

By all means if it makes it easier for you, TELL THEM! If you have lots of support tell them.

But, No, I don't tell anyone anymore if I'm trying. I have started every time and the journey is too long for my liking...

When I was preggo with a 9 week MC. I announced at my fathers birthday party and lost the baby.

I went through my sister getting prego and sister in law with my sister announcing when I was going through MC #4 in a row. (They didn't know and still don't.)

I PRAY my journey is easier this time. But I'm quiet.. until I see baby bean, atleast.

 

[MrsBeany85]

It's such a difficult thing to talk about sometimes. We get the same questions all the time and have only recently started telling a few select people that we're trying. In some respects this has definitely been a good thing, but in some ways I do feel a bit like all eyes are on me (mind you, I did anyway because family kept putting their hands on my stomach and asking when they'd be feeling kicks!!!!! Seriously, some people are so insensitive!).

 

[Leinzlove]

People are always quick to their opinions too.

I know we waited 6 years of marriage before #1 and when we announced some people said. Oh, wow we thought you couldn't get prego.

 

[MissYogi]

People can be so frustrating. They are definitely just wanting to be supportive and don't even realize that it's a hard topic to talk about but it really is something that people should know not to bring up. I am getting married very soon and have wanted kids forever so we are starting to try now but I've dealt with my mom's side of the family being tremendously pushy ever since I was about 18. They always say it jokingly but what they don't know is that inside it kills me to have to hear about how I don't have a baby yet. So frustrating!

 

[BelleNuit]

I regret telling the people I've told. Now they keep asking me and are surprised it hadn't happened yet. Makes me feel like rubbish