Improving listening for soon-to-be school starter?

[PresqueVu]

So, my small one starts school in September!

I've just been reading through his learning journey from pre-school (half the week with them, half the week with me) and there isn't anything I didn't expect in there.

1. Ability: no worries there.
2. Obedience/listening/behaviours: NOT SO MUCH!

Basically, he's very independent, and very strong willed and needs a lot of convincing to do anything he doesn't think will be interesting enough. He's been rather bored at preschool for quite some time, I'm hope school will be better for that.

He really doesn't know how to deal with his temper, although that is improving. Both us and preschool have been going through a lot of methods for that, and a marble reward system has been a help.

They freely admit at preschool he's a challenge, which was actually a big relief to hear. He's awesome, but a lot of work.

He's not good at listening.
He's brilliant at talking.

I'm guessing there are more than a few of these characters about

What can I be doing, to encourage listening skills?
And to help him know how to react when there isn't a choice about what to do?

 

[the why bird]

Is he zoning out/not paying attention to what he's asked to do when he's not interested, or is he taking the information in but being stubborn? (I hate to use the word stubborn but I hope you know what I mean)

I used to teach a drama class and I found that a lot of children, even the older 8-12 year olds, need a ton of practice at actually listening to what people are saying and having self control to respond to what they are told instead of just doing their own thing.

There are some games I used for practice, I wonder if any of these might help:

- Simon says (they have to really pay attention to remember when NOT to follow the instruction)
- Magic words - you agree on three magic words (more or less depending on how hard he finds the game) and every magic word has an action that goes with it. For example, when someone says 'pineapple' you have to clap your hands, when someone says 'shoes' you have to jump in the air. The sillier the better. Then you keep dropping those words into conversation all day and try to catch each other out. Bonus fun mum point for playing this in the supermarket etc.
- The robot game - best played in a mostly empty room or outdoors - blindfold him and tell him that he's a robot and can only move when you order him to. Give him instructions like 'two steps forward, turn right, one jump forwards'. Obviously you might have to tap his shoulders if he's still learning right and left. Make it more challenging by building a soft maze out of cushions (or marked on the floor in chalk) with a prize like a sweetie at the end so he has an incentive to really concentrate. When he gets good you can give him the instructions two or three at a time so he has to remember them.
Fortunately Unfortunately - good game for the car. Tell a story together. You start every sentence with 'fortunately' and make a good thing happen and he starts every sentence with 'unfortunately' and makes a bad thing happen (or just go alternately if there are more players). EG. Fortunately it was a sunny day for the world cup final. Unfortunately, aliens landed in the middle of the pitch. Fortunately they were friendly... and so on. He has to listen and work together with you or it won't make sense.
Hide and clap - like hide and seek, only he gets to shout out 'clap' three times and you clap your hands so he can follow the sound to your hiding place. Or use a little bell or a noisemaker. If you have a safe place to play, this can also be done blindfolded which means you don't need to really hide, just position yourself out of reach.
- Music appreciation - listening to different styles of music together. See if you can clap out the beat or identify the instruments. Talk about when it gets faster and slower, higher and lower, talk about what it reminds you of. This might sound dull but some kids really get into imagining with this. Danse Macabre is a good one for 'spooky' music, as is 'In the hall of the mountain king' (or 'the alton towers music if you happen to be my age). Get him to run around and act out the music, with big movements for loud bits and little tiptoes for quiet bits etc.
-We've got a lovely picture book called 'Listen Listen' which talks about the sounds of different seasons. It's prompted lots of conversations where we try to find as many sounds as possible around us. So in the garden we might hear birds, leaves rustling, cars on the street, the neighbours mowing the lawn etc. You could take this further and have a sound scavenger hunt and tick off what you hear.
Dragon's treasure - he sits with his back to the room, with some noisy toy behind him - jingly bells or an old rattle work well, something that makes a noise when you move it. You have to creep up on him and try to steal it. When he hears the noise he can turn round and roar and catch you BUT if he turns round before you touch it, you win. So he has to both listen carefully and resist the urge to turn round right away. I'm sure you can think of tons of ways to make it easier or harder as you need to.
I'm thinking of... - Just a simpler version of 20 questions. You say, 'I'm thinking of something that's grey and fluffy' then add clues to help him guess (or he can ask questions if that's easier). Then he gets three guesses.
Finish the rhyme - make up a simple rhyme or read out a poem but miss out the rhyming word so he has to guess it/make one up. Poetry is fab because the rhymes and rhythms naturally promote listening and recognizing patterns.
Baking - if he's at all interested in cooking then it's great for listening and following instructions.

I hope that was something remotely close to what you were asking! Other than that I think all you can do is talk a lot about what sort of things he will be told at school and why he has to do as he is told. Maybe you could play at schools and he can be the teacher and boss you around. Don't worry too much about it though. He will be one of many with the same challenges and the reception teachers are pros at this because it's a new environment for all of them.

P.S. What a cutie!

 

[PresqueVu]

That's amazing, thank you!

That's precisely the kind of thing, I actually tried magic words yesterday from the look of it but I think I'd made it too complicated so that's a much better version!

I think it is just stubborn and probably picking up a little from his parents. His Dad is pretty bad at looking up from various devices and I'm a fair amount better, but absolutely dire should I get focused on something...!

Thank you so much