in need of advice

[T'elle]

Hi ladies hope everyone is well

Im hoping someone will know about this or how to go about it, we have been ttc for roughly 3 and half years and having difficulty with NHS *long story* My mum has offered to carry our child (my egg and DH's sperm) as we are having conception problems. Who do we need to contact regarding this and has anyone been through a similar situation xx

 

[ald]

I really don't know the answer to your question or your full situation but I would say see your gp for advice etc as he will know your way forward.

I hope it all works out for you and what a wonderful super mum you have for offering to help you this way - what a bond you must have xxx

 

[T'elle]

yeah im sat here in tears i just want to be a mum so badly, and our GP has refused any help as they said they have been told by my FS that everything is in working order x

 

[Blue12]

Telle having your mom carry your baby would still require ivf. Is the NHS still refusing due to your age?

Wishing you the best.

 

[DragonMummy]

yeah I agree with Blue - you'll have to go private to get this done so you'd probably be better off spending the money on ivf for yourself, if there is no formal medical reason for you not to conceive. And I am v jealous - I don't get on with my mum. To have a mum offer to do that for you is just amazing - she sounds incredible. xx

 

[T'elle]

yeah hun a dr i have been to see has agreed with me and says he doesn't think my weight is an issue, and they came back with a big fat no again that im too young etc, we were going to have my mum carry for us but they wont do that now either as im still too young, they have refused a tube check to see if i have a blockage and refused to test me again for pcos as they said 'theres no point'. So i guess thats it for us, we have had a long night of rows here and a few things were said, so looks like its NTNP for us and hoping for a miracle over the next 3 years!

 

[DragonMummy]

can't you sign up with another gp? theres girls that get tested for pcos because of irregular periods when theyre in their teens, so them saying youre too young is just bollocks. have they even given you a blood test to check testosterone and insulin resistance? I know when youre pregnant you can pay (about 50-100) privately for an US scan. Maybe worth checking at local clinics if the do the trans vag to check your ovaries? if it's pcos it should be pretty apparent (even I could tell my ovaries were polycystic within seconds of them hoving into view!).

But if possible I would go to another gp. Sod them. If you do have pcos, then it gets harder to conceive as you get older (and also it's harder to lose weight so they can't throw that at you either! ) plus once you get to a certain age you aren't eligable for ivf etc (not that I am saying you will need this but as an example) so surely starting earlier is the sensible option.


Am quite cross for you actually! bloody doctors. come to surrey and use mine. he's awesome, has full gynae background and is very easy on the eye. I'll share

 

[T'elle]

They are really horrible to me, i know i am overweight and im trying to do something about it but they are acting like im 60 stone! im 16 and half stone yes VERY overweight but i am very heavy chested too which does not help at all. Im finding it difficult to lose weight and at my last appointment the doctor told me that they will not help me with anything fertility related the only help they will offer is if i am genuinely unwell or a dietician that is it, surely that is unproffesional? grrr.

 

[DragonMummy]

i agree, that's bad form. i have to lose weight (12 and a half stone but I am short - but again, heavy chested) and since i have pcos, my gp and practice nurse both acknowledge that pcos makes it extremely difficult to lose weight - so if that's what you DO have then it makes sense - plus some people find that going on the metformin helps them lose weight!

i'd move to another surgery - phone around all the other local ones. even if it means you have to travel a bit further, surely it will be worth it. xxx

 

[T'elle]

yea i think i will hun xx

 

[DragonMummy]

pmsl - if it helps, I am absolutely LIVID for you!!! Really riled up....

 

[T'elle]

no worries hun i think the worst thing for me is knowing that being able to have a baby is in someone elses hands knowing that i have to have permission practically. xx