Is anyone a Psycyatrist (sp) on this site?

[Tink1o5]

i was wondering if anyone on here was a counseler or something, maybe you can help me...

 

[samsugar7]

Why hun? I have had some basic training but aimed more at young people. x

 

[Tink1o5]

Well I will tell you whats going on.

Im 20 years old with a 2 1/2 month old. I Was raised by my dad only. He ended up with lung cancer so i watched him die everday he had left. When i was 16(in 2006) he passed away and i found him in his bed. My mom was a prostitute, and druggy who used to lock me and my brother in closets until my dad took us away from her when we were 3. After my dad passed i looked for her because i wanted answers. I found out she died in 2008. I had 1 full blood brother who was disabled, could not talk, eat or anything for himself. He passed away at 20 yrs old in 2009.

I know have panic attacks to the point i think im going to honestly die. I am NOT me anymore. I always wanted to go on a cruise with my family , but am to scared to now, and think its my luck i will die if i go. If i have a arm or chest pain i think im having a heart attack if i have a headache i think i have a brain tumor. Not only is this affecting but i also am to the point that I dont want to tell my son I love him because i think if i do that means that something bad is going to happen to him or me and thats y im saying it. I ran up to give my husband a kiss on his way out the door and My first thought was "why did i do that, it must b because something bad is going to happen to him or me". If my husband randomly tells me he loves me i think hes saying it because he know something bad is going to happen to me.

I feel like a freak! ever since my dad passed i havent truely been happy. Like some HUGE part of me is missing and never coming back.

IF you made it this far ty so much. It means a lot to me if u could help me.


BTW: im not open to taking medicine to fix my problems. I think if i do that i might as well be taking drugs. (its only a quick fix but once im not on them its not like it made anything go away iykwim)

 

[calm]

I wish I could help but I am not a professional but have studied some psychology in my PhD. This is just my opinion. It does seem like everything that happened in your past is affecting you. From losing your dad, to what your mum did to you both, and finally her death, all of this has left you full of fears and stress. Its very normal, as when we don't get a healthy normal upbringing the seeds of anxiety can very easily set in and bloom at any part of your life. Often the proper attacks and fears come back a few years later, similar to post traumatic stress. You anxiety is built up by many negatives thoughts and feelings. The good news is, anxiety and panic can never ever kill you or even harm you. It just feels like you are dieing due to your panic/flee button being faulty due to all that stress you have been under. You have your own family, but you are very young, and all those issues are still with you. My advice would be to find a level headed psychologist that can help you manage your stress/anxiety. Try to come to terms with your past, its hard but as long as you don't you carry it with you and it hurts you. A psychologist will help you with this, but I wouldn't recommend sessions where you rake up your past again and again for years. Get it all out and come to terms with it, and then ask for management techniques. You can get well without medication, your attacks won't hurt you. And you are not alone, I also suffer from anxiety and fear that those I love will not be with me or die. We just have to let go of the fear, because life is life and its better to live it with joy the time we are here than with fear. Take care and hope you find some help that suits you. Big hugs XXX

 

[hot tea]

I am not a psychiatrist and not trained whatsoever. All I can offer you is empathy and understanding.

I have had a very traumatic past as well. I am not willing to share it on this site or any, though. After having my son I experienced the same anxiety you are voicing. I was sure I was having brain aneurisms, heart attacks, things like that. If I got a strange flicker of light in my vision I would assume I was hallucinating. I would end up on the floor unable to breathe with severe tunnel vision - all caused by anxiety. I would get heart palpatations, from anxiety. My whole face would twitch for days on end.

It is an awful feeling, I remember that period of my life very well. I got out of it by accepting the fact I had some form of depression, and leaving my house. Getting out. I would lock myself in and never leave. So I made a radical life change by moving to a different city that I liked - and got my body healthy. After my body got healthier, so did my fears and pains from the past. As I got confident that all it was was anxiety, it passed. All the physical symptoms.

When you experience things as terrible as you have, there is no cure for that heartache. So I'm going to say what I wish others had said to me:

No, you are not going to die. You are a great person with strong will and you just need to keep on going. You will make it through this!

Also I found what helped my anxiety is if I wrote down my fears. Once I read them back I was able to rationalize and kind of saw how ridiculous my fears really were. If you get a chance, try and catch it early and jot down how you feel.

You are not alone! Just remember you ARE a survivor.

 

[Tink1o5]

thanks so much for the understanding ladies. sometimes i just think nobody will understand me and will just think im crazy if i say anything. or think i am a bad mom

 

[wtt :)]

Hi, I am not a Psychiatrist or anything either but my mom has used a therapy called EMDR. It basically tells your brain that whatever happened back then does not affect you now, tells your brain that everything is OK, instead.
https://www.emdr.com/

Wishing you lots of strength!

 

[whitelilly]

I am a clinical psychologist. Your difficulties sound perhaps like an anxiety disorder, which may have been triggered by a bereavement reaction/ stressful life events.

You have been through a lot, I really feel for you.

Sometimes, when we are anxious/ stressed, we tend to misinterpret our thoughts. The best thing that you can do is challenge your negative thoughts. For example, you say that you are worried that if you kiss your husband something bad will happen? What evidence do you have for this? Haven't you kissed him many times in the past and something bad hasn't happened?

You could try and access a really good book called "Mind over mood".
https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/0898621283/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276380030&sr=8-1

This will help you look at your thoughts and try to balance them out, it's really good.

A psychologist would help with this process, whereas a councellor is more a listening post.

Good luck xx