is this normal?

[babytots]

hi ladies i havent posted in here before mainly because my losses were before i joined here.

but i was wondering if this was normal as its starting to worry me and not sure if i should talk to my doctor or get some councilling.

since the loss of my last 2 babies i have gone into this weird paranoia that i am going to lose my 2 beautiful girls. at first it would happen now and again when lying in bed and i would think about plans for the next day and then say what if so and so happened. for e.g if i was doing the shopping the next day i would think what if my eldest ran out into the road and got knocked over. it would then keep me awake all night and the next day i wouldnt let my eldest out of my sight.

as the months have gone on this has gotten worse and worse and most nights i worry. i get paranoid my eldest will get out of bed half asleep and go down the stairs in the dark and fall we cant fit a starigate at the tope of our stairs (even though shes good and stays in bed all night til we wake in the morning) or i worry about my youngest getting her duvet over her and suffocating (even though shes old enough to have a duvet and is fine with it). every night i check on them both before i go to sleep to make sure they are ok.

i guess i couldnt beleive that i had lost my two beautiful angels and thought if i had lost them i will lose my girls too.

my paranoia has now spread to the baby in my tummy i have been blessed with. i am past when i lost my previous angels and past the 12 week mark but i constantly worry that i will still misscarry later down the line or go into premature labour so much so that it was one of the reasons why we cancelled a holiday to france as i felt that if we went there i would go into labour early and be in a forgien country miles away from a decent hospital and i would much prefer to be in england where people speak proper english and not broken english and where i know the technology is good enough iykwim.

please tell me i arent crazy for feeling like this.

2008 was a bad year for me and everything went wrong and now i cant accept the fact that things are getting better.

i dont know i hope you dont mind me writing this but it is really getting to me now and i want to stop worrying over the smallest things and not be an overprotective mother in fear of losing her children. x

 

[rachjim98]

Well, I have asked myself the same question.. Am I crazy?? I have thought I was loosing it on more then one occasion. Some things make us more paranoid then others. I never thought we would loose our daughter @ almost 20 wks but we did and I have a whole new outlook on life sometimes in a bad way. You are not crazy but maybe you do need to speak with someone about the paranoia. Don't stress it is so not good. 2008 was a bad year for a lot of us but it is over and a new one has begun so enjoy your pregnancy and your 2 other little ones. Life is way to short to be stressing over things we cant control anyway. Best of luck to you.

 

[Shelby2007]

While it is understandable what you are going through.. if it is keeping you up at night.. and making you change plans.. I would talk to your dr about it. Just a thought. You arent crazy.. you have every reason to be scared.

 

[MrsO29]

Hi honey, you are not alone.
I do this all the time.
I don't look at it as a problem. I am just super overly extremely cautious!
After my 2 m/cs, I begun to think, if my dd is going to be my only child I better make sure nothing bad ever happens to her. This is silly, as I would be making sure she was ok whether I had 10 kids or not, but the m/cs do make you think.

I think as long as we know we are doing everything to ensure they are ok, then what will be will be. Most of the time all the horrible things that happen in this world are accidents, that no one could have predicted or prevented, so stop worrying about worrying!
It's only natural to stress about your kids. I would be more worried if you never stressed about them!

 

[toby2]

i got really over protective over my little boy after my first m/c, i thing lots of people do an i dont think it means you are crazy but if it is bothering you so much then tell your dr and see if you can get some councelling as it may help you relax a little

 

[babytots]

thanks ladies for your replys its such a relief to know i'm not alone in feeling like this. i think the next time i see my doc i will mention it and see what he says.

its hard not to worry but like you say as long as i'm doing everything i can to ensure my daughters are safe then i should stop worrying as much.

so sorry for all of your losses too.

 

[Las78]

Hun, so sorry and sending you hugs.

I can understand how your are feeling, you have lost your babies, the hardest thing in the world to deal with and I felt much the same with my 2 little girls after my m/c. I think you realise how precious life is and the thought of going through that heartache of losing another child can fill you with fear.

I have a 7yr old and an 18mth old. My 7yr old went out for the day with her Dad, he told me he would bring her home at 5pm - she got back at 7pm. Between 5 and 7 I sat at the window looking out for her, feeling physically ill with worry, called her Dad 13 times (he didn't answer any of the calls), I had all sorts of thoughts going through my head and that total fear of something happening to her.
My 18month old fell asleep at her high chair the other night, she had a piece of bread sticking out of her mouth, I hadn't noticed she'd fallen asleep and turned around and just went into total panic thinking she had choked and wasn't alive (it happened in seconds and I was there so would have known if she was choking)

I think it is totally naturally to feel more protective of your little one's afer m/c.

I would suggest going for counselling hun if it is getting to the point that everything is worrying you, ultimately it won't help you or the little one's become independant. I'll be surprised if there's not a lot of people about who go through the same thing and perhaps counselling may help alleviate some of your fears, totally understandable fears I must add.

Congratulations on your pregnancy too hun, wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy, try not to worry hun, I know how very hard that must be but try and enjoy your pregnancy. I'm sure when I get my BFP I too will be totally beside myself with anxiety and worry, somehow we have to try and work through it and if you think counselling might help hun, go for it.

Take care of yourself and I hope things get better for you x