it never fails......

[hopefull85]

when you think you are doing so great dealing with infertility life always has a way of throwing stuff at you. i recently found out that my husbands 18 year old cousin who is hillbilly trash is pregnant. she is so sorry that she dont work, her man dont work, her whole family has been in and out of jail. they all live off of the government and they are drunks and druggies. then i find out that my step neice who is 22 and does well for herself i will give her that credit is pregnant. she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago because he wanted to settle down and have kids but she didnt. ha well guess life showed her. and its also the fact that people want to lie to my face STOP IT that does nothing but piss me off so bad. just tell me and let me deal with shit my own way. its like the ones that want to be parents so bad that they will go broke just to make it happen are the ones that have to struggle so hard and yet ones that dont want them or just really stupid when it comes to having safe sex are the ones that always end up pregnant. i dont understand and it always has me questioning God.

 

[tamithomas]

Totally on board with you. Not fair to see those stupid teens get knocked up even if they're on the pill,using a condom and doing the pullout method as well as are jobless, druggies and alchies who can't even do something as simple as remember to wash they seem to be the first to get BFP's yet us who would do anything to be parents are stuck in the wind. you're definitely not alone.

I just saw my mom this weekend, according to her my SIL and step brother are struggling something awful financially because they have a champagne taste of a beer like budget (welfare) yet they're the ones with a healthy 3 month old baby! not fair at all.

 

[hopefull85]

yeah my SIL and younger brother are living with my 60 year old parents. which my parents live off disability, and my sorry ass SIL and brother dont work they have a 5 year old and 3 month old. so yeah im with you on that one too. and dont you just hate it when you are made out to be the bad guy. im to the point were i dont care anymore what others think about me when it comes to my infertility.

 

[tamithomas]

totally there with you! I made a pledge to myself two months ago when my friends baby was born that no longer do i hand out free "congrats" anymore. Did you try for the baby and aren't on crack? then yea i'll give a congrats..but if you're 18 barely making it on your own or still living with mommy and daddy when you fall pregnant (i don't care if you move out half way through the pregnancy) you don't deserve the congrats from me. Too many people pat those types of situations on the back and leaves the rest of us who try so hard to get bfp's bunched in together with them? no thank you. I'm not being bitter or cold hearted as I've been told, I'm just tired of faking a smile for those who don't deserve my smile.

 

[AlyCon]

totally there with you! I made a pledge to myself two months ago when my friends baby was born that no longer do i hand out free "congrats" anymore. Did you try for the baby and aren't on crack? then yea i'll give a congrats..but if you're 18 barely making it on your own or still living with mommy and daddy when you fall pregnant (i don't care if you move out half way through the pregnancy) you don't deserve the congrats from me. Too many people pat those types of situations on the back and leaves the rest of us who try so hard to get bfp's bunched in together with them? no thank you. I'm not being bitter or cold hearted as I've been told, I'm just tired of faking a smile for those who don't deserve my smile.

if there was a smiley face for a standing ovation i would send you a million!!!!!!

and that bolded part made me giggle cuz that always seems to happen. I mean honestly, if you werent planning to move out before you got a BFP then it doesnt count!!!

 

[Brunette Boo]

totally there with you! I made a pledge to myself two months ago when my friends baby was born that no longer do i hand out free "congrats" anymore. Did you try for the baby and aren't on crack? then yea i'll give a congrats..but if you're 18 barely making it on your own or still living with mommy and daddy when you fall pregnant (i don't care if you move out half way through the pregnancy) you don't deserve the congrats from me. Too many people pat those types of situations on the back and leaves the rest of us who try so hard to get bfp's bunched in together with them? no thank you. I'm not being bitter or cold hearted as I've been told, I'm just tired of faking a smile for those who don't deserve my smile.

I agree with everything you said. I've got 2 younger friends who don't work but seem to be popping out babies every year. They're got 4 between them with another on the way. They only got pregnant to get a house & handouts from the government. It makes me so angry when genuine people who have worked all of their life, paid their taxes and are so desperate for a baby can't conceive. Time is against me now as I'm 40 next year.

 

[tamithomas]

totally there with you! I made a pledge to myself two months ago when my friends baby was born that no longer do i hand out free "congrats" anymore. Did you try for the baby and aren't on crack? then yea i'll give a congrats..but if you're 18 barely making it on your own or still living with mommy and daddy when you fall pregnant (i don't care if you move out half way through the pregnancy) you don't deserve the congrats from me. Too many people pat those types of situations on the back and leaves the rest of us who try so hard to get bfp's bunched in together with them? no thank you. I'm not being bitter or cold hearted as I've been told, I'm just tired of faking a smile for those who don't deserve my smile.

if there was a smiley face for a standing ovation i would send you a million!!!!!!

and that bolded part made me giggle cuz that always seems to happen. I mean honestly, if you werent planning to move out before you got a BFP then it doesnt count!!!

Lol so true. My SIL is one of them. Still lived with my mom and my step dad, tricked my Step Brother into getting herself BFP by not telling him she had stopped the pill. They're on welfare and my step brother still smokes pot and drinks energy drinks! Come to find out through my mom they're struggling financially..geeee I wonder why? *eyeroll* lol

totally there with you! I made a pledge to myself two months ago when my friends baby was born that no longer do i hand out free "congrats" anymore. Did you try for the baby and aren't on crack? then yea i'll give a congrats..but if you're 18 barely making it on your own or still living with mommy and daddy when you fall pregnant (i don't care if you move out half way through the pregnancy) you don't deserve the congrats from me. Too many people pat those types of situations on the back and leaves the rest of us who try so hard to get bfp's bunched in together with them? no thank you. I'm not being bitter or cold hearted as I've been told, I'm just tired of faking a smile for those who don't deserve my smile.

I agree with everything you said. I've got 2 younger friends who don't work but seem to be popping out babies every year. They're got 4 between them with another on the way. They only got pregnant to get a house & handouts from the government. It makes me so angry when genuine people who have worked all of their life, paid their taxes and are so desperate for a baby can't conceive. Time is against me now as I'm 40 next year.

Ugh I hate those kind. I'm the first to say, If you're not employed and depending on the situation just having one child is acceptable..but popping them out like pez dispensers when you know you can't afford it? I'm just tired of everyone acting like every BFP should be celebrated no matter the circumstances. It leaves us the real ones who tried and have our lives in tact not that special of a BFP because it's the same congrats cracked out druggy 18 year olds get. Our efforts for conceiving are not recognized. Plus, you wouldn't pat your kid on the back for stealing a car..why would you pat them on the back for getting a BFP when it's the most inconveniant moment?

 

[AlyCon]

yea some things i just dont understand!!! Like how can you be that irresponsible! and like you said, one is okay depending on other circumstances but FOUR is just plain dumb and selfish! My nephews mom is like that, and im seriously contemplating telling her to either give me guardianship of my nephew or else im calling social services on her! i know its wrong to threaten her like that but if you saw how they lived... omg!!

 

[AlyCon]

and another thing, the other day i had a debate with my sister about how society caters to teen moms when they should be sticking it to them! Im not saying to ship them all off to the island of shame but somebody needs to tell them like it is and not baby them! We were watching this show called High School Moms, idk if they're showing it in other countries yet but its a reality show about a school for pregnant teens/ teen moms. its an all girls school (of course) and they have a daycare so girls can see their babies throughout the day, which is great BUT heres my problem: some of these girls are the most spoiled disrespectful ungrateful brats i've ever seen! they call the teachers by their first names (which im assuming is okay in that school but it shouldnt be!!), they sit and gossip to eachother while the teacher is instructing, and this one girl got called into the principals office for breaking the rules and she was TEXTING WHILE THE PRINCIPAL WAS TALKING TO HER!!! and he did nothing about it!! and heres the kicker, they petitioned to have a prom (the school never had one for obvious reasons) and the administration is letting them and theyre having a prom queen contest and everything!! i get that its a part of the "high school experience" but in my opinion they screwed that up when they got pregnant! they should just be grateful that theyre being allowed to earn their diploma and have affordable daycare while doing it. but no thats not enough they want all the bells and whistles too! if it was up to me they wouldnt be having a prom, just get your diploma and be happy- im not throwing you a party for getting knocked up in high school, it just aint gonna happen! and my sister was all "well teen pregnancy isnt going to end so schools like this are a good thing" which is true but not if theres no discipline! and its not preparing them for reality! in the real world you cant just play with your baby every hour between tasks at work (you wont even find a job that has onsite daycare)! No, you work your entire shift then you go pick your kid up and play with them when you get home. and in the real world you most certainly cannot pull out your phone and text while your boss, or the police are talking to you without some serious consequences. i have three words for these young ladies "get a grip!"

 

[tamithomas]

and another thing, the other day i had a debate with my sister about how society caters to teen moms when they should be sticking it to them!

Thank you! I've been saying the same..not even 10 years ago being a teen mom was shamed, now it's patted on the back? no just no... In North America we have 16 and pregnant, and teen mom. It's ridiculous how many shows of these there are these days glamorizing it. We're not suddenly back in the 1400's where people only lived to max 30 so they had to start young. But these days, still is totally unacceptable in my books. Such a backwards world

 

[AlyCon]

speaking of backwards, you have to watch the video on this link!

https://news.yahoo.com/video/sketch...chy-28439890%2F16-and-abstinent-30401295.html

 

[tamithomas]

speaking of backwards, you have to watch the video on this link!

https://news.yahoo.com/video/sketch...chy-28439890%2F16-and-abstinent-30401295.html

ROFL !!

Reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPGEEE_1dLw

 

[AlyCon]

hahahaha thats what i feel like sometimes!! i hate that pregnant 14 year olds get congratulated on their pregnancies but as soon as i got married the first thing everyone said to me was "dont get pregnant yet!!" and im like "oh yea thats a good idea considering my stable marriage, steady income, savings account, furnished apartment, new car, great insurance, and ability to be a stay at home mom. wow, you really saved me from making the worst mistake of my life!" people these days...

 

[tamithomas]

Yup right there with ya! The worst I've had so far is my 18 y/ old SIL with my step brother asking my DH and I when we're having one ourselves? Just because you guys had one at the least conveniant time ever does not give you permission to ask such a question. You having a baby wasn't even a good thing inthe first place.

 

[AlyCon]

having children is such a private matter, its so rude of people to think they can just ask questions like that! i absolutely hate being asked when we're having kids and being pressured to have them soon or to wait! its no one elses business. whenever people ask me i get the uge to say "if i wanted you to know i would've told you by now!" but then i'd be the rude one

 

[hopefull85]

it all comes down to the fact that fertile woman just dont understand what we have to go through and just think that we are all a bunch of bitter old hags. well how bout them fertile woman actually take the time and walk in ours shoes just for one day, thats all it would take. or its like its all fine a dandy for them to post everything about their pregnancy on facebook but god forbid you post anything about infertility, then people start getting uncomfortable.

 

[AlyCon]

it all comes down to the fact that fertile woman just dont understand what we have to go through and just think that we are all a bunch of bitter old hags. well how bout them fertile woman actually take the time and walk in ours shoes just for one day, thats all it would take. or its like its all fine a dandy for them to post everything about their pregnancy on facebook but god forbid you post anything about infertility, then people start getting uncomfortable.

exactly! they go on and on about how we're so bitter and take our anger out on fertile women when thats so not the case!! even if i had ten kids, i'd still be angry if i saw a woman neglecting or abusing her kids! its not a fertile vs infertile issue its a responsibility issue of "if you have kids TAKE CARE OF THEM! and if you know you cant take care of them, then DONT HAVE THEM!" It just stings a little worse for infertile women because we actually want to be good mothers but arent getting the opportunity. and i've thought about the whole talking about infertility on Fb thing and i've decided that when i get my BFP (hopefully soon!) im not going to make a big deal of it on FB. and oncei have my LO im going to make a long status about my struggle with infertility and how my LO is my miracle baby and i dont care what anyone thinks about me because they dont know what i had to go through. that oughta shut them up!!

 

[tamithomas]

it all comes down to the fact that fertile woman just dont understand what we have to go through and just think that we are all a bunch of bitter old hags. well how bout them fertile woman actually take the time and walk in ours shoes just for one day, thats all it would take. or its like its all fine a dandy for them to post everything about their pregnancy on facebook but god forbid you post anything about infertility, then people start getting uncomfortable.

This...all of this. The worst I've been told was "you shuoldn't be on facebook, you should be in therapy" I'm fed up of being shoved in a corner..infertility is nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm tired of being treated like my feelings don't matter. Like I told DH this morning, people don't understand or I should say REFUSE to understand infertility because they wanna live in their perfect world where there's no problems. Well reality check, there is and we're not all bitter and going to bite your face off..we just ask a little bit of respect and consideration..is it too much to ask?

 

[jessandaj]

Im sorry in know the boat your in ! My sil got pregnant right after getting back with her on again off again cheating fiance and hes done good since (babys 1 now) but she wont move out of her parents they moved out for 3 months and she didint like it and moved them all back in and then my other sil has had 5 kids in 5 years and is pregnant her youngest about to turn 1 and she will be having the new baby in november and im just oozing jealousy because they had 1 planned pregnancy and thats it the rest are supprises including suprise twins and it just sucks and her husband lost his job from playing video games at work with 5 fricking kids i mean get a fcking grip you have 5 kids and ypur jacking around at work oh thats okay just up the food stamps and borrow from your wifes parents...but me and my husband yeah were younger but were going on 2 years of living alone and on our own budget with no assitance its bullcrap really ive never felt the term 'life isint fair" so much in my life as when i started ttcing good luck to everyone and babydust !!!!