"It's not fair!" and attitude

[superfrizbee]

My DD turned 4 in June and this phase is new for us. She starts school in September and although she's excited it might be a bit of that, as well as just her age. How do you ladies cope/react to similar. I can really feel my blood boiling when she does it, but a strong reaction from me has never worked with her.

 

[Natasha2605]

Maci's favourite phrase was" it's not fair" when something wasnt going her way. It went on for weeks every time I asked her to do something she didn't want to do. I'd explain the reasons why but after that I'd just respond "life's not fair" every single time. Other than that id ignore the whinging/protesting at how unfair life is and carry on with what needed to be done.

I actually don't think she's said it in weeks now.

 

[lau86]

I used to try and explain why they couldn't do/ have whatever it was but it never worked. Then I read they don't like that as it feels like they're being dictated to rather than listened to. Now I just say 'well I'm sorry you feel like that and i know it's upsetting but that's that' and try and distract. It's a corny line but it works quite well

 

[izzlesnizzle]

I've just realised from reading your post that this was a phase a few weeks ago that my 4 year old went through. She's stopped saying it now so it could be your dd will just stop saying it and forget about it soon. My dd was throwing strops and saying it's not fair! I just said no it's not is it? Nevermind. And shrugged it off. she must have just got it out of her system and moved on to other just as irritating habits and behaviours!

 

[SarahBear]

I would probably just re-phrase her complaint.

"You wish you could have one too."
"You're mad that we have to leave."
"You wish the goldfish crackers were just for you."

In certain situations, you might just agree with her. Other times she might be tantruming enough that you just ignore it. Sometimes feelings need to be validated and other times emotions need to be released. Giving more accurate words (mad, sad, disappointed, et cetera) also helps in the long-run even if not in the moment

 

[Nibblenic]

Yeah I remember that one and basically the answer is 'sometimes lifes not fair'

I would sometimes elaborate on that depending on how reasonable I thought her reaction was.

 

[SophiasMummy]

My LO will get a warning when she has attitude aswell as me telling her not to be rude then if she carries on she will either lose her tv privileges until she can behave or her bedtime story if it's just before bed. It's not very often she gives me attitude anymore because she knows I won't put up with it