Iv just had a break through!!

[Ash_P]

Ok Im going to sound like im mad in the head. Was sitting in my sisters tonight and out of the blue my 6yr old nephew started screaming in pain, ambulance had to come and rush him up to get checked. I followed behind the ambulance to make sure Jack and his mum were ok.

I was standing in the cubicle with his mum (my sister) when all of a sudden I got really light headed, the sweat actually just poured down my skin, everything went really fuzzy, all i could see was like a blurred light and just heard muffled sound. I thought i was going to either faint or throw up so tired to walk over to the sink and my legs buckled beneath me. Scared the crap outta me, but I couldnt speak to answer anyone.

When it finally passed, i was soaked in sweat, and all shaky, dunno what it was, or why it happened, but this is going to sound really strange........

Its actually just hit me that I dont miss my husband because of the person he is, or the father he could be, or even the life we could have. Iv just realised that I actually dont miss HIM, i miss the habit. Just having someone there, and it just so happens that he was the one that was there for so long.
Its the company, the male comfort, things like that.
And iv realised that I dont need HIM for those things, coz theres plenty of decent men out there, that when the time is right, I will get those things from.

Im so proud of myself for finally seeing this, it took me .......... well just over 14 weeks, but i feel such a sense of relief. Im actually gonna be ok, and I finally feel like im in control of my own life.

 

[momtoparker]

well thats really good. but you will have moments in your pregnancy - like me, when you feel really lonely and will do just about anything to get him back becuase you don't want to do it alone. But you can. I am 34 wks and have done it alone and nights like tonight i am home alone and very lonely, it will hit you sometimes but it passes. I to have realized i am strong enough to do it alone and am looking forward to raising this child but am scared too. Good luck to you and all the best.

 

[purpledahlia]

yey! well done, i know exactly what you mean. I hope you didnt fall in the hospital tho! x

 

[lou_w34]

Ahhhhh its great when you suddenly realise that! Its like 'why couldnt i of realised that 10 weeks ago' ??? haha

Then again, we all get there in the end! Well done you

 

[Hollys_Twinny]

Good for you clearing your head!!!

X