I've been a horrible mother today :(

[Cattia]

My husband has been away all week. I am a teacher so I'm on half term, I've had the kids on my own all week. He was meant to be back at lunch time, but then he called to say he wouldn't be back until tonight. I have been soooooo bad tempered and unreasonable with the kids. At bedtime, they just kept making more and more mess when I had tidied away, then they were trailing after me whinging and clinging to me, asking for one thing after the other, and I totally lost it with them, screamed at them both and slammed the kitchen door

They were both really upset and I feel terrible. I get cross with them but I don't lose my temper like that. I really upset them. I just feel like I've reached the end of my teather. Loads of women have husbands who are away for months at a time and mine has only been away a week so there is no excuse for it.

Please tell me I'm not the only one to lose it with their kids. I feel so bad

 

[Button#]

Of course you're not the only one. Don't be too hard on yourself, pregnancy hormones and kids under your feet is a hard combination. I also get to the point when I'm counting the minutes until OH gets home and that's only for a normal work day and if he's late I've been known to have a mini breakdown. You can make it up to them tomorrow.

 

[Munchkin30]

If you've made it this far without an unreasonable meltdown you've done much better than me! My dd has had the wrong end of my hormones more times than I care to remember!! I think it's ok for them to know you're human and if you talk to them about it afterwards it can be a good learning experience for you both. I've been working really hard at not being shouty recently but it's not always easy. Give yourself a break xx

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

I agree that it can be a learning experience for them and not to be too hard on yourself. I've lost it on DS for not listening a few times and I know my fuse is a little shorter these days but we always talk about what happened. Showing your emotions is healthier than trying to bury them, kids need to see that too.

I hope DH is home and things have gotten better.

 

[SAmummy]

I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect mother ! I have a very clear memory of losing it in the car one day and screaming at my kids like a toddler Its ok for kids to know moms also can loose it ... They are very forgiving when you say sorry .... Not like us adults who take ages to get over things

 

[Liz0828]

Don't feel too bad. I'm only a few days short of 27 weeks and my hormones have been getting the best of me lately as well, especially when my DS is being extra whiney and won't express himself with words, only groans and pointing. I've yelled at him a few times for it and I always feel so bad afterwards.

Like a pp said, nobody is perfect, and I agree that it's okay to show emotion to your children so they see that people do get angry. As long as your not showing your anger through physical aggression towards them I think your fine. Just explain to them afterwards why you were angry and that you are sorry and why it's important to try to express your feelings before reaching that boiling point.

 

[Cattia]

Thanks so much ladies, I seriously feel so much better knowing that other people have been in the same situation. I guess I always see anger as a really negative thing which I hadn't really realised and it hadn't occurred to me that it could actually be a learning experience even though I still feel rotten about it. Today is another day, my DH is back now and I have a child free tes and cake booked with a good friend this afternoon so hopefully I can recharge my patience! Thanks again.

 

[SAmummy]

Thanks so much ladies, I seriously feel so much better knowing that other people have been in the same situation. I guess I always see anger as a really negative thing which I hadn't really realised and it hadn't occurred to me that it could actually be a learning experience even though I still feel rotten about it. Today is another day, my DH is back now and I have a child free tes and cake booked with a good friend this afternoon so hopefully I can recharge my patience! Thanks again.

I think sometimes the world portrays such a fake image of what mothers are like and what they should be like .... A little bit more realism and less judging is what moms need. My mother certainly lost it from time to time, but I love her to bits !

 

[Beanonorder]

You're definitely not alone. My dh and I separated three months ago and basically all of the child care has been left to me - plus I work full time. I'm on winter break at the moment and had to give my nanny time off too so I've been alone with dd. Its really hard not to lose it, especially when dh has promised to be there and then lets me down. I'm trying my best but I end up feeling like a terrible mom a lot of the time.

 

[Munchkin30]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Peaceful-Parent-Happy-Kids-Connecting/dp/1452662193 I'm reading this at the moment. Lots of great ideas and makes me think about my communication and connection with my dd and why I turn into a massive strop meister!!

 

[Rhio92]

I've screamed at LO twice this morning, and been in an absolutely foul mood with OH too. Feel sorry for them both