IVF with egg sharing??

[Starbright]

Hi
I was wondering if anyone here has considered egg sharing when they go through IVF?
My DH suggested it last night and I'm really very unsure and quite torn over the issue.
On the one hand, I know how heartbreaking it is to be going through all this and I think it would be great to help out another couple like ourselves who are struggling to be parents.
On the other hand, what if ...
what if I donated eggs and then me and DH couldn't get pregnant? How would I feel knowing that there might be a couple out there with 'my' eggs, 'my' child when I couldn't have one??
what if I get a knock on the door in 18 years saying "Hi mum" ? Would i be able to cope with that?
My DH was thinking that it's all still anonymous, but since 2005 (in UK anyway) the anonymity has been taken away. He didn't realise that.

I know I know that nobody can tell me if this would be the right thing for me and DH to do but I was just wondering what other people felt about egg sharing. Do you have similar hang ups to me? Or am I weird??

I keep thinking, well if I needed donor eggs ... but I'm not sure. When the FS said I might not have enough eggs left, using donor eggs crossed my mind. And I felt conflicted about it then. I wasn't sure how I'd feel using someone else's eggs. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it.
I wonder if I'd be this conflicted if we were talking about a sperm donor? ..

I know that this is a really sensitive issue and I hope I'm not out of line by bringing it up. I just wanted to see how other people felt and thought about this. Has anyone used a donor or considered donating?

Hope i've not offended / upset anyone but I need to get this off my chest ...

love to you all xx

 

[DragonMummy]

Hi hun,


If my clomid doesn't work we will be in the same position, as we already have a child and frankly couldn't afford IVF. So it's the old dilemma. Plunge into debt, do without or give away my eggs. At this stage I think I would do egg share but then I am not physically in that position yet. And as you pointed out, the thought of someone else having "my" child if I was unsuccessful would be heartbreaking.

 

[Deb111]

We're in the position where we 'may' have to consider a sperm donor. We're both prepared to discuss it but I'm not sure. I actually think using an egg donor would be easier - to me, if I had the child growing inside me and saw it on a scan and gave birth to it, then I don't see how it wouldn't feel like my child. However, it feels with a sperm donor that there's nothing of hubby there. I'm really hoping it doesn't some to it, but then I've also got to be re-tested to check my FSH levels which were high in last test - so I might end up needing an egg donor too!

I totally understand about adopted children having the right to be able to track down their biological parents, but I really do wish that egg / sperm donors could still be annonymous - I actually feel there would be more people willing to donate if they didn't think they'd have kids turning up out of the blue in 18 years time. Just my opinion xx

 

[Flake-y]

Hey, know how you feel, it's a really difficult decision.

I've already thought long & hard & decided that I'd like to donate my eggs given the chance. I guess if I needed to use donor eggs then I'd like to think that someone out there would have donated them for me to use.

Plus, like Deb, we might have to use donor sperm & it's difficult to come by these days cause of that ridiculous new law about now having it anonymous anymore! So I completely understand women having to use donor eggs & the feeling that there might be none available to use.

Plus, it makes the IVF much cheaper which is pretty good considering it's really really expensive!!!

Good luck with whatever you decide.