jealousy anyone??

[Dannib247]

im having some serious jealousy issues and i hate it so much!! weve been ttc for over 4 years and m/c in feb 09, my 16 year old sister got pg in march 09 by accident and terminated in june 09, now shes pg again accidently and is currently 14weeks along shes keeping this one. i cant help but feel jealous!! i hate shes able to get pregnant ACCIDENTLY i hate how my family are all excited (bad i know) i hate shes got a baby inside her and i havnt been able to ..my sister and i were best friends before this but im struggling to accept this its just not fair on her any advice would be greatly appreciated xx

 

[Nosy_Cow]

I haven't been trying as long as you and my sister is not pregnant (well I hope not she's only 13) so can't imagine how you are feeling but I know the jealously! I've been wishing people's baby's dead I haven't meant it - it's just the first thing I think of when I see a bump! I don't really have much advice but I didn't want to read and run

 

[lauralou25]

I know the feeling 2 weeks after i had my m/c my friend found she was pregnant and i felt like someone else took over my body i was thinking all kinds of crazy things! The worst thing is the stuff she comes out wiv sometimes is unreal! Not to mention they have been together for 5 mnths only, they constantly fight like cat and dog and every time they row she says she is going to have a termination and i just think how much i would give for my m/c not to have happened! I just say to myself my time will be soon and when it does i will be so happy! U will be fine just keep posotive! (sorry for the rant) x x

 

[Sambatiki]

Totally understand you hun I have similar issues with SIL.

I guess I just remind myself that Im that bit older wiser and in a very secure loving relationship, and that my baby is going to be very much wanted and tried for from the very begining! (NOT suggesting that suprise babies are loved any less)

I hope that you wont have to wait much longer &

 

[julie_h]

hiya girls...
im so glad to see im not the only person who feels this way!! im overcome by this feeling everyday! i had a mmc on 30th dec 09...me and my friend were pregnant together with 1 day between our due dates..she has carried on to have a healthy pregnancy and i cant bring my self to go and see her i feel such a bad person..but i am extemely jelous
and not even 2 weeks after my m/c my younger sis found out she is pregnant again, she is far from the perfect mother to her 8 month old and is drinking heavily even tho 8wks preg!!
im so angry inside and it seems so unfair...why can't we have our baby?
thanks for bein so honest and giving us other 'jelous' women the chance to show our feelings

good luck to you all with ttc lost of baby dust 2 ya all


xXx julie xXx

 

[Dannib247]

thanks girls its such a relief knowing im not the only 1 feeling crap hope u all get your bfps soon!! xx

 

[Kirsti]

Well boy do i relate to your story!
we were trying (only 6 months not long) and i found out my 16 year old sister got her self pregnant with no effort! Which i was like ok il be fine! THEN i found out i was pregnant but sadly lost the baby. I tried to cope and then she decided after my beautiful neice was born she didnt want the responsibilities and gave her up for adoption at 2 days old It killed me every day knowing we wanted a baby and there she was giving hers away as if she was nothing!
Hope you will be ok and things happen for you soon

xxx

 

[Sammy2009]

I haven't been trying as long as you and my sister is not pregnant (well I hope not she's only 13) so can't imagine how you are feeling but I know the jealously! I've been wishing people's baby's dead I haven't meant it - it's just the first thing I think of when I see a bump! I don't really have much advice but I didn't want to read and run

I feel like this with OH's sister...

We tried for 2.5 years for a baby, had to go through IVF to get there... all the way through this 2,5 years all I have heard is his god damn sister ringing and saying "i'm pregnant" (she only ever calls when she is pregnant) she even sent me an email congratulating me on MY pregnancy 2 YEARS BEFORE we even got pregnant. The bitch was just fishing to find out IF i was pregnant. Then finally we got pregnant and we were 2 weeks off announcing the pregnancy (12 weeks) and really excited and then "dring dring" phone goes and woe and behold she is PREGNANT as well, 2 weeks in front of me. After all that time she steals our thunder!

We would have liked a boy (since I have one daughter) and she has two boys already but found out we were having a girl. We thought oh well maybe we will bring the first grandaughter into the family. We knew SHE wanted a girl and so she went for the scan and guess what? She is having a GIRL! So we were not even able to bring the first girl into the family. I was livid. I cancelled going to Xmas day with them and we stayed at home. THEN at our 20 week scan we found out that Shaylee had Hydrocephalus and we had to make the painstaking decision to let her go. I had to give birth to her naturally on Jan 10th. The sister never even sent any flowers.

I feel so much resentment for her... 27 years old, 3 kids all conceived within a couple of months of trying, no problem trying to conceive and sailing through her pregnancy with no problems. I am not even going to write down MY thoughts but I think you can all probably guess and they are not good!

 

[Smiler79]

i know exactly how you guys are feeling.

About 6 months ago around the time hubby and I started TTc a friend of mine came to me to say she was pregnant but had split up with her man and had decided to have a termination. I supported her. In October I found out I was pregnant!!! Only to miscarry 6 days later. And then only last week I found out that her and her new man are 12 weeks pregnant!!!!

Kirsti please dont be too hard on uyour 16 year old sister though, as although it seems unfair as you want a baby and she has goven hers away, but I have been there.

At 18 I got pregnant having only done the deed twice ever. I knew I was not ready to be a mum and I put my beautiful baby girl up for adoption. It has the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but it was the right one for me and for my little girl. I have alos given the gift of a child to a couple who had been trying for ten years to have a family of there own.

I find it hard now as I am now desparate to be a mumand have suffered a miscarriage but I still believe I mkade the right deciaion.

K

 

[4everhopefull]

just thought id drop in huggs girls..

 

[Kirsti]

i know exactly how you guys are feeling.

About 6 months ago around the time hubby and I started TTc a friend of mine came to me to say she was pregnant but had split up with her man and had decided to have a termination. I supported her. In October I found out I was pregnant!!! Only to miscarry 6 days later. And then only last week I found out that her and her new man are 12 weeks pregnant!!!!

Kirsti please dont be too hard on uyour 16 year old sister though, as although it seems unfair as you want a baby and she has goven hers away, but I have been there.

At 18 I got pregnant having only done the deed twice ever. I knew I was not ready to be a mum and I put my beautiful baby girl up for adoption. It has the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but it was the right one for me and for my little girl. I have alos given the gift of a child to a couple who had been trying for ten years to have a family of there own.

I find it hard now as I am now desparate to be a mumand have suffered a miscarriage but I still believe I mkade the right deciaion.

K

Oh im not hard on her. She done alot of horrible things to our family but she has changed she now has twin girls and does right by them all the time. She doesnt regret giving her daughter up and i think she done the right thing if im honest..
I am sorry if i offended you hun. That must of been the hardest thing you hve done! I really hope your baby happens for you soon
xxxxx

 

[Smiler79]

You did not offend me hun. As I said I do not regret my decision but yes it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I did not find out I was pregnant til i was 6 months gone and luckily was not with her Dad a he was a nasty piece of work.

I am still lucky enough to get a leter and photo once a year from Emily and her family soI get to know how she is dong which helps.

I me my husband 5 months after I had Emily and we have been together for 10 and a half years now (maried for 19 months). I love him dearly but it is because of him not wanting children until receltky that has meant I have waited so ling to try for another baby. Therefore the miscarriage was even more devastaing as I have just turned 30 and am now worryingthat I have left it too late.

Anyway enough of my whinging. HEres hoping we all get our sticky bean soon xxxxx

 

[Ten]

I know how you feel, ladies... the timing isn't exactly the same, but three of my female cousins had kids when they were teenagers. All three of them dropped out of high school. None of them could support their kids. (One of them has had five abortions since!!)

I waited until I could support my kid - had a college education, a stable job, a good husband.... only to lose my daughter 8.5 months into the pregnancy. My grandfather died just a couple months later, and it seems so unfair to me that they were so irresponsible, got to have Grandpa meet their kids, and I did the right thing and was denied that.

I think the important thing is to allow yourself to be jealous. It sucks. Life isn't fair. And any woman who's been dealt the cards we have has the right to be angry about that. And the more you bottle it up, the worse it gets.

Sometimes it's not advantageous to say any of that sort of stuff to the person who's making you jealous because they're family, a co-worker, or some such... but that's what the wonderful ladies here are for!!! We understand and love you!!