Just seeing how you're all are getting on ..

[daopdesign]

Well it's been nearly a month since I heard the awful news my LO was no longer with us and I know there have been a couple of others recently been through a similar situation, not forgetting you ladies that had this happen before I posted my story

I really thought that very first week I wouldn't come out of that dreadful dark hole I felt sucked into but it's been my OH and this forum that have given me the strength to look forward and help me to deal with the pain. I've had those moments when you wake up and start crying or needing to 'pull' yourself together and I'm still getting them but trying to keep positive. Have been over in the TTC forums a lot and have learnt so so much about things I didn't know about so as you can guess this is my train of thought at the moment. I don't think having another baby (please god bless me again) will ever take my LO's memory away but keeping my thoughts on a positive outcome is really the only way I'm dealing with this.

We haven't been to his grave for a couple of weeks. Last time I went the flowers we planted came out blooming. Can't really explain what it's like just standing there at your babies grave and I had to keep fighting back the tears. I think I'll be like that for a few months yet, probably forever! Gonna buy a massive bunch of flowers this week and make sure it's all kept nice and tidy

Although I'm looking forward to conceiving again I'm petrified this will happen again. I guess you gotta just try and put those feelings aside but not for one minute did I ever think this would happen at 16 weeks but it damn does happen (oh god all those ladies that go longer in the pregnancy aswell, ) and it's not until it happens to you that you really understand m/s's. This was my 1st ever one and tbh I have this thought that if I do get pregnant again the same thing will happen. I don't think till I get to 30 weeks + I'll be able to 'take it easy'. Not going to tell anyone either!! They can just think I've put weight on haha

So any ways I was just wanting to see how you lovely ladies are doing and I hope with the time that has passed you are feeling better, even if it's just an incy weenie bit XXX

 

[daopdesign]

anyone?? lol

 

[SatansSprite]

I've been doing ok, until today. I got doc's appointment in a couple hours to go over pathology report and I just know it's going to stir up a whole ton of emotions for me.

 

[daopdesign]

I've been doing ok, until today. I got doc's appointment in a couple hours to go over pathology report and I just know it's going to stir up a whole ton of emotions for me.

oh god I hope you get some answers, best of luck let us know how you get on

 

[SatansSprite]

Ya, Im just trying to call the office before it's time just to make sure they have the results in. No sense in going there if they don't even have it...I hope they do though, I have been VERY nervous coming up on today and I dunno what I'll do if they don't have the results.

 

[kiki04]

I am on a very up and down slope. This past weekend was a bad one. It was one month on sunday and needless to say I had a few beers, cried then fell asleep. I admitted for the first time on saturday to DH and my mom that I am not coping well. Today I feel better though so maybe today being past the one month mark is my time to get up and try to pull it together again. Its hard though when I still have people asking how my pg is going Then I get to explain and relive it!

 

[SatansSprite]

GAH, why us dealing with the medical system so frustrating? Doc never actually told me any of the info from the pathology report, except for stating the obvious that I'd had an infection (Well DUH, like I didn't know that) but then he went on to say all like, yes I had this infection BUT didn't know if I'd miscarried because of it, or developed it because I miscarried. He also goes on to say that he wonders if I don't have a problem or abnormality with my uterus/cervix, especially since I delivered my first pregnancy/DS at 36 weeks, which according to him is unusual. So what does he do?

He gives me a requisition to get a Sonohysterogram done. So I call the office, which is in a city about half hour away from me, and they tell me I need to get a pelvic ultrasound first and that the Sono can only be done during a period, and that I need to call them on the first day BUT that I may end up having to wait until my next one because they only do this ultrasound on one specific day of the week when both docs working in this place are in.

UGH!! So frustrating when OH and I just wanna start getting to TTC again. I mean, I know its for the best in case there IS a problem, but, OMG it's so annoying and frustrating though.

 

[DueSeptember]

Although I'm looking forward to conceiving again I'm petrified this will happen again.

I am scared that it may happen to me too...I am okay some days and others I will start thinking about her and start crying....Last night I started talking to my OH about it and I started to have a little break down...He kept saying sorry and we would try again...He said he hates when I am sad....The first week was the hardest I felt numb...we went to the country for 2 weeks and it was good to get away..It has been getting better but I will never ever Forget my Baby Girl

 

[DueSeptember]

GAH, why us dealing with the medical system so frustrating? Doc never actually told me any of the info from the pathology report, except for stating the obvious that I'd had an infection (Well DUH, like I didn't know that) but then he went on to say all like, yes I had this infection BUT didn't know if I'd miscarried because of it, or developed it because I miscarried. He also goes on to say that he wonders if I don't have a problem or abnormality with my uterus/cervix, especially since I delivered my first pregnancy/DS at 36 weeks, which according to him is unusual. So what does he do?

He gives me a requisition to get a Sonohysterogram done. So I call the office, which is in a city about half hour away from me, and they tell me I need to get a pelvic ultrasound first and that the Sono can only be done during a period, and that I need to call them on the first day BUT that I may end up having to wait until my next one because they only do this ultrasound on one specific day of the week when both docs working in this place are in.

UGH!! So frustrating when OH and I just wanna start getting to TTC again. I mean, I know its for the best in case there IS a problem, but, OMG it's so annoying and frustrating though.

Why is there answer always "INFECTION".......umMmMm they told me that mine may have been an infection that is why my water broke...even with taking cultures and blood they still didnt tell me WHY my water broke early....

 

[daopdesign]

GAH, why us dealing with the medical system so frustrating? Doc never actually told me any of the info from the pathology report, except for stating the obvious that I'd had an infection (Well DUH, like I didn't know that) but then he went on to say all like, yes I had this infection BUT didn't know if I'd miscarried because of it, or developed it because I miscarried. He also goes on to say that he wonders if I don't have a problem or abnormality with my uterus/cervix, especially since I delivered my first pregnancy/DS at 36 weeks, which according to him is unusual. So what does he do?

He gives me a requisition to get a Sonohysterogram done. So I call the office, which is in a city about half hour away from me, and they tell me I need to get a pelvic ultrasound first and that the Sono can only be done during a period, and that I need to call them on the first day BUT that I may end up having to wait until my next one because they only do this ultrasound on one specific day of the week when both docs working in this place are in.

UGH!! So frustrating when OH and I just wanna start getting to TTC again. I mean, I know its for the best in case there IS a problem, but, OMG it's so annoying and frustrating though.

So did you know you had this infection well more to the point did THEY know? If they did of course there gonna rule out the infection causing the m/c because you should have been treated!!! Maybe you have an incompetent (??) cervix, which thank god can be treated x

 

[SatansSprite]

My family doc had a resident working with him when I actually conceived, and when I went in for the confirmation appointment, the resident mentioned that it looked like I'd had signs of infection in my urine sample, and at the time I -thought- he'd said he was going to send that for testing, but never did it seems. But because I thought he was, I took the no news/no answer as an indicator that he had sent it, but it came back negative. That's the reason I now think I had the infection the entire time and just didn't really realize it until I ended up in ER 5 days before it all happened with the start of the contractions.

 

[SatansSprite]

So, a TEENY bit of good news. I was worried that if my results came back showing something that would make me a high risk pregnancy next time I wouldn't be able to seek midwife care as I thought I had read someplace that they only dealt with low risk pregnancies. Well I had an appointment with them today just so that they could go over the results of stuff with me and tell them what my OB had gotten me to do.

I also asked about a 'what if' scenario...like, What if the results show me to be a high risk next time, can I still seek your care? I was soooo happy when they said yes I could, that it might end up being a shared care, or support care..working with an OB as well, but that either way I can still have a midwife.

So that's my little bit of good news, something I was kinda worried about.

 

[daopdesign]

That's a little bit of good news then x I really think any woman that has had a mid term or late term m/c should have extra special care during their next pregnancy anyway. Over in the UK, you have had to have 3 m/c recorded before any proper testing! Here's hoping you and I will be pregnant again soon FX! X

 

[SatansSprite]

Ya, Im not sure how it works over here in that regard. The whole 'requirements for extra care' thing. To be honest I thought I might have had a little bit of extra monitoring based on some of the things that happened with my son (little bit early labour, him being really small..nurses termed him an IUGR) but it didn't seem like I was going to get it. I guess it depends on how this ultrasound test thing the OB wants me to get turns out. I just hope all the "fancy" timing that's needed for it lines up quickly so I can just get it done. It sucks that I apparently need to have started my period, and be on it, to get it done...and then this place only doing the special ultrasound one day a week.