Just when you think you know someone

[robbiegrl]

I have been with OH for almost 5 and a half years but have known him for 15 years or so. I got pregnant and things completely changed. He ended up walking away yesterday. I offered to go to family counseling with him and he told me that I needed help but he didn't. He then proceded to text me a ton of very hurtful and cruel things. I'm completely shocked. I never knew he could be like this. I'm so glad I found out before things went on any longer.

But now I'm freaking out. How am I ever possibly going to be able to do this on my own?

 

[Dezireey]

Really sorry you are going through this, its just really painful and hurtful isn't it? I knew my FOB for four years, so when someone you know really well just abandons you when you need them the most, you start to wonder about the human race and how some people can be so callous. I made the mistake of harrassing and pushing my partner too far and now he has completely run away and wants to go abroad to avoid it all. Best thing to do at this moment are;

1. Stay away from him, don't contact him, don't let him have an opportunity to upset you with any nasty texts etc. He is the person who needs help if he speaks to a vulnerable, pregnant woman like that.

2. Focus all your energy on your pregnancy and give yourself time and be kind to yourself, don't blame yourself for anything

3. You will be able to do this on your own, many, many women find themselves in this position and not just because a partner has willingly left them e.g partner has passed away, the woman wants to leave the man, he might work away and not be there 6 months of the year etc, etc. Single Mothers can and have done this successfully for many years and one parent giving tons and tons of love and support to a human being is way better than a fickle, uncaring father.

My FOB is liable (as far as I am concerned) to have been totally unreliable if he stuck through the pregnancy for the sake of it. He is a very selfish individual and keeps calling our baby 'your child' 'your decision, you got what you wanted'. Doesn't see his part in it at all, he hates 'people' , what a waste of space he is really, I'm better off without him.

You will be fine

 

[dustbunny]

I have been with OH for almost 5 and a half years but have known him for 15 years or so. I got pregnant and things completely changed. He ended up walking away yesterday. I offered to go to family counseling with him and he told me that I needed help but he didn't. He then proceded to text me a ton of very hurtful and cruel things. I'm completely shocked. I never knew he could be like this. I'm so glad I found out before things went on any longer.

But now I'm freaking out. How am I ever possibly going to be able to do this on my own?

How? Because you have to for your growing LO. I just commented on another thread about someone who was being made to feel second best... a relationship doesn't work like that, you are meant to be both equal. Him saying you have problems is his way of not wanting to accept it is him who needs to sit down and think things through.
He has left and as you say it is best he has done it now than later on down the line. You know what he is like now but you have to ask the question if in a weeks time he comes back and says sorry will you take him back? Could you trust him not to do it again?
As PP said, concentrate all your efforts into your pregnancy. Enjoy being single, find yourself, explore new interests, build up your confidence again - refind you. You will come back stronger than before.