Just wondered.....

[NellyVille]

At work yesterday I was thinking how I must remember to call the fertility unit to arrange my baseline scan, and my mind wandered on as it sometimes does when I realised that to get to the fertility unit at my local hospital you actually have to walk through the maternity unit. How lovely it's going to be walking through a waiting room full of women that have the one thing in the world I want most!
Just wondered if anyone else's is set up like that? Is it like that on purpose as it's easier to have all the "lady departments" in one place or is it lack of thought on the part of the hospital?
I imagine it might be quite upsetting sometimes to have to go through all the rigmarole of fertility testing and then after each appointment be faced with a room of pregnant women.

 

[KatCrazy]

That does sound like a bit of a slap in the face! It's a bit like that at my hospital as the infertility unit is in the maternity wing, however you don't have to walk through an area full of bumps luckily. X

 

[a1b2c3]

I agree. Hospitals suck and the layouts Are rubbish.

I have always known I wanted children. At the end of 08 I had a bad smear that required an operation. All my preliminary stuff was in a separate building right next to the maternity ward!

I am now seeing a fs at the hospital regarding my infertility. So far my appointments are mainly on a Monday which seems to be when they invite all the local day cares to the hospital for a tour.... And to top it off? They put the biggest bloody play area in the waiting room I have to use! Thank you kindly NHS! ;(

 

[Sophe]

exactly the same in my hospital... I got a taxi there and its a very big hospital, had to ask to be dropped at the maternity unit, taxi driver said, i guess its your first scan... looking at my lack of bump, i didn't know what to say just just nodded...

I bad a bad smear and operation back in 04 and again it was in the maternity unit, everyone was so happy and chatting baby stuff and there is was worried i might have cancer, i just don't get it, why do the hospitals do this??

 

[Missus_L]

Mine is the same too. I've been sat in a waiting room full of bumps when I was having my bloods done. Just wanted to get out of the place! I had a bad smear in 03 when I was 18 and I had to go through the maternity part too and that was a different hospital to the one I'm in now. I know it's linked in ways but still eh....

 

[readyformore]

Well...........I'm an ob nurse.
Dealing with pregnant women and newborns for a living, while going through infertility, is not fun.

It doesn't get much worse than wondering what you did wrong to upset the fertility gods when they give babies to those that are drug addicted, homeless, or those just not wanting babies. I can't tell you how many women I have delivered after their birth control has failed.

It's really very hard sometimes to send those babies home with them. On many occasions I've wanted to just stick them in my pockets and take them home with me.

 

[NavyWife84]

Ugh...I am right there with you. Every time I go there are tons of expecting women there. Last time, there was a teen couple who obviously didn't plan their pregnancy, a couple of women about to pop, and two other women about to pop with toddlers with them. It was torture!

Then, my DH had knee surgery two days ago (no bding for us for at least a month, so no bfp for me any time soon ) The surgery center was right next to the "Family Birthing Center" aka the maternity ward. We were in the hospital for over 8 hours. During that time, I got to watch women going in ready to give birth and families with baby gifts. Everyone was extremely happy and I couldn't help but hate them all!!! Okay, hate is a strong word, but I was very jealous.

ready...I don't know how you handle being an ob nurse! I teach kindergarten and find that really hard! I have tons of students whose parents don't care a bit about them and teen moms that look at thier kids as a burden, etc. Sometimes it is so hard to go to work. Today we were discussing how the students feel when Mom and Dad bring home a new baby. This lesson was a killer!!!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

My OB office is the same set up....I have to sit there along with 1000 other women who are pregnant and look for my belly and ask how far along I am...and when I reply I'm not pregnant I am trying for 18 months they give me the "oops I am so sorry" look and I just want to cry! So sorry you have a similar experience

 

[NellyVille]

So it seems it's universal!
Ready- I don't know how you do it! I was a nanny 10 years ago but gave up as I was fed up working with families that had children purely so they had someone to pass their worldly goods on to or because it was expected of them - and that was before I knew I wanted kids. I can't imagine how I'd feel doing that job now.
As for the fertility gods? I just don't think they're talking to me, either that or they lost my address!!

Navy- I'm sorry about hubby's knee. It's horrible when other things get in the way. I don't know about you but to me it's almost like ttc is the only thing in the world and when anything is wrong with either of us it's just inconvenient!!! Fingers crossed for his speedy recovery.

To everyone, thanks for your replies - good to know it's not just my local hospital designed by a bunch of insensitive numpties!! We ttc ladies don't expect to be wrapped in cotton wool but a bit of thought would be nice once in a while!

 

[_Nell]

It's because they both require regular access to the ultrasound facilities, my hospitals the same. I find for hospital visits it actually keeps me optimistic, after all one day that *could* be me, so logically there could be other pg women waiting who've overcome there infertility.
I can deal with bumps tbh, it's the newly pg that seem to affect me.

Waiting at the pharmacy the other day, a random woman next to me prattling on to me about her BFP and how she gets some meds free or reduced rates now.......right while i was waiting for £300 of pricey fertility meds to dispense. I really wanted to scream tbh how unfair life is.

 

[NellyVille]

It IS unfair. We all see people - be it on TV, in the street, or even people in our own families - that really shouldn't be allowed to have children and yet they seem to be popping them out all over the place. It's heartbreaking if you think about it too much but you can't seem to think about anything else when it's staring you right in the face all day.

 

[_Nell]

I've found some comfort that even DH now thinks everyone is pg but us .At first I thought it was just me, but I think it's just rotten bad luck that everyone we know is annnouncing. I have 5 close friends pg and 4 with babies under a year. This week 2 of DH's friends announced oops pg's, one of whom is older at 46yrs so thought it wouldn't happen.

We have decided to have a small bet between us on 'who's next' that we know (really there aren't many left to choose from, we're onto single/oldies/chosen-to-be-childless now!). The winner gets to choose our next holiday.