Kirstie Allsop.

[lhancock90]

Had a disagreement with a friend yesterday about this, what do you girls think?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance...on-of-women-to-suffer-the-same-heartache.html

Personally i think what shes saying is that, if you want babies over a career thats okay, you don't have to follow the standard order? Which according to her twitter is what she meant. However i think she worded it poorly and now people think shes telling women to drop out of uni.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

From just reading the article I can sort of see from both points of view. I think she does have a good point about limited fertile years in most women and how the expectations of achieving so many things in such a small amount of time is a bit unrealistic, and I think she's making the point of reminding people that babies do grow up and its completely possible to achieve things and realise dreams later on in life which I do think lots of people forget. But I don't think she should have said she'd advise her daughter not to go to uni, I really don't see what that's got to do with managing to have a baby at 27? Most people complete their degree at 21 so I really wouldn't see that as an issue and thought it was a bit confusing. X

 

[shanny]

In a roundabout way she is trying to suggest an alternative way to have it all? I think we do put ourselves under so much pressure to have it all and people gamble with their fertility to have career sorted prior to children? I think her heart was in the right place.

 

[RaspberryK]

I agree with her totally xx

 

[karlilay]

I also agree totally with her.

 

[emyandpotato]

I agree with you Lauren.

Also agree that it's really hard nowadays. We're supposed to go to university, get amazing careers, and somehow get married and have babies before we're 'too old', and still have enough money to be SAHMs but also not take any form of handout and have a decent house and car and and and....

 

[lhancock90]

I agree with you Lauren.

Also agree that it's really hard nowadays. We're supposed to go to university, get amazing careers, and somehow get married and have babies before we're 'too old', and still have enough money to be SAHMs but also not take any form of handout and have a decent house and car and and and....

Its way to much pressure isn't it?

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I agree with you Lauren.

Also agree that it's really hard nowadays. We're supposed to go to university, get amazing careers, and somehow get married and have babies before we're 'too old', and still have enough money to be SAHMs but also not take any form of handout and have a decent house and car and and and....

Its way to much pressure isn't it?

This is true it's so much pressure for something that's pretty much impossible now. She makes a really good point about doing uni for a realistic degree relevant to what career you want, not just waste years and money for the uni experience. Loving the typical daily mail comments though, something about if everyone had a baby at twenty there would be lots of uneducated, badly behaved criminal children or something *rolls eyes*

 

[Pearls18]

I think she's definitely right about fertility, I think we are going a bit too much the other way in that people are quick to judge younger mums (although I know older mums get judged too, what mum doesn't!) but biologically we can't change that that's the healthiest time to have a baby.

I don't understand the link with uni, like tinker belle says most people are done by 21 and even with postgrad qualifications there's still time to have children younger with a lot of careers if you wish.

For me I always knew I would compromise, I wanted the qualifications first but would have children while building on my career, I've personally not wanted to spend years building up my career to then have kids, it's just how I wanted to do it though.

The important thing is we respect a woman's right to choose, whether that's to be a young mum, or never have a career, get one later, do what I do or have kids later, it's down to her to choose and we shouldn't judge. But where Kirstie is right is that we can't change nature, if you do choose to wait you could be taking some risks, but then being a young mum usually comes with some sacrifice too.

And let's face it a lot of the time it isn't even about careers, it's about when you find the right person and how much time you want with them first. Basically, there's no right or wrong, society needs to stop being judgey pants.

 

[shanny]

society needs to stop being judgey pants.[/QUOTE]

 

[Button#]

It's an interesting point she's making. The bit about not going to uni for the experience is a good one. Me and OH have been talking about this. I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up at the age of 16 and followed it through with a BTEC and a degree and was very happy in my job. He didn't really know what he wanted to be, had a vague idea, did a levels and a degree and a masters because that's what you're supposed to do. He only worked out what he wanted to do later on after working for a bit. I think jumping into three years of expensive study when you're so young is a bit ridiculous if you aren't sure about what you're going to get out of it.

I also agree about the fertility thing but at the same time I wouldn't have wanted kids when I was 20, I was too young.

I think her main point is too assess what you really want out of life and prioritise accordingly while bearing in mind that fertility doesn't subscribe to the idea that you can have what you want whenever you want it. It's not a bad message.

 

[lhancock90]

Its insane to think you are babyed until you are like 16/17 and then suddenly asked to make life changing decisions!

 

[Button#]

Its insane to think you are babyed until you are like 16/17 and then suddenly asked to make life changing decisions!

Completely agree.

 

[Pearls18]

Yeah definitely agree with that, and the thing is so many people are getting degrees these days that it's making them less valuable if you know what I mean, I would say I know more people that went on to do something completely unrelated to their degree or completely non graduate than I know people who fully utilised them. I know some would say it's still a good experience etc...but that's a pretty big cost to a person, society and the job market for an experience and to delay life decisions.

 

[RaspberryK]

I'm agreeing with everything everyone's saying, I have nothing good to add, my brain is mush.
Xx

 

[emyandpotato]

Yeah definitely agree with that, and the thing is so many people are getting degrees these days that it's making them less valuable if you know what I mean, I would say I know more people that went on to do something completely unrelated to their degree or completely non graduate than I know people who fully utilised them. I know some would say it's still a good experience etc...but that's a pretty big cost to a person, society and the job market for an experience and to delay life decisions.

Absolutely! The amount of degrees that are meaningless just makes it so much harder for everyone. I also think it's crazy in general that all kids are pushed down the academic route. Maths, English, and general knowledge yes, but 10/11 GCSEs for every child regardless of their abilities?! No! Children are really struggling and then they're going to college and uni and no one can get a job. Why not just let them follow a semi-vocational path from, say, 14?

 

[Pearls18]

I think it would be great to see more vocational studies, trades and skills taught from 14, give people their basic education but there's no need to be doing English lit at 16 if you know you want to be a mechanic. More apprenticeships too, and I also think too many jobs now are requiring academic qualifications when there could be something more experienced based to qualify you. Less snobbery, more practicality.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

It's an interesting point she's making. The bit about not going to uni for the experience is a good one. Me and OH have been talking about this. I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up at the age of 16 and followed it through with a BTEC and a degree and was very happy in my job. He didn't really know what he wanted to be, had a vague idea, did a levels and a degree and a masters because that's what you're supposed to do. He only worked out what he wanted to do later on after working for a bit. I think jumping into three years of expensive study when you're so young is a bit ridiculous if you aren't sure about what you're going to get out of it.

So true but I found with me and most of my friends at school it was just seen as the thing you would do, a levels then off to uni, even alternative qualifications and training was seen by a lot of people I know as not an option, I think a lot of my friends felt it was inferior to getting a degree. But now most of my friends graduating and half of them are back home with their parents, debt behind them and not a clue what they can apply their degree to. Whereas the people I know who have done btecs, nvqs etc are usually in good, secure and fairly well-paid jobs. Obviously it's not always like that and I'm going a bit off topic but I think it's a shame to put so much importance on university when it can be a waste of time and money.

 

[emyandpotato]

I think it would be great to see more vocational studies, trades and skills taught from 14, give people their basic education but there's no need to be doing English lit at 16 if you know you want to be a mechanic. More apprenticeships too, and I also think too many jobs now are requiring academic qualifications when there could be something more experienced based to qualify you. Less snobbery, more practicality.

I agree with you completely.

 

[emyandpotato]

It's an interesting point she's making. The bit about not going to uni for the experience is a good one. Me and OH have been talking about this. I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up at the age of 16 and followed it through with a BTEC and a degree and was very happy in my job. He didn't really know what he wanted to be, had a vague idea, did a levels and a degree and a masters because that's what you're supposed to do. He only worked out what he wanted to do later on after working for a bit. I think jumping into three years of expensive study when you're so young is a bit ridiculous if you aren't sure about what you're going to get out of it.

So true but I found with me and most of my friends at school it was just seen as the thing you would do, a levels then off to uni, even alternative qualifications and training was seen by a lot of people I know as not an option, I think a lot of my friends felt it was inferior to getting a degree. But now most of my friends graduating and half of them are back home with their parents, debt behind them and not a clue what they can apply their degree to. Whereas the people I know who have done btecs, nvqs etc are usually in good, secure and fairly well-paid jobs. Obviously it's not always like that and I'm going a bit off topic but I think it's a shame to put so much importance on university when it can be a waste of time and money.

Same. I don't know anyone who did a degree since like 2008 who is in a directly related job. Everyone doing well, with houses and disposable income and stuff went in to decorating/building/plumbing/beauty etc. etc...