late loss now pregnant and terrified :(

[nicksi27]

I cant stop stressing that when i go for my first scan theres gonna be no hb or no baby actually there. im 8 weeks and i know my anxiety is all related to my history (i had a late mc this year we found out at 20 week scan that our son's hb had stopped). Its been a terrible year and im just hoping and praying that everything goes well because i feel like this is my last chance, i cant go through anymore trauma. Im so scared of letting myself, my partner and everybody else around me down again (i know what happened wasnt my fault but i cant help it). i have a lot of pregnancy symptoms and do hpts sometimes to 'check' but i cant stop worrying that it will end in misery. I see my OH cooing over babies when he sees them and i just cant handle the thought of seeing him destroyed again. I stay positive in front of him but inside im a wreck. All of our hopes and dreams involve being a little family

Ive had my first MW appt and im high risk. Im waiting to hear when my first consultant appt at the hospital will be. Im thinking it will be 12 weeks by the time im seen. im going to ring them im sick of waiting.

sorry for the pessimistic thread - does anybody else feel like this? i look at babies and cant imagine myself with one then i wonder if this is just me worrying or whether its like some sort of premonition if that makes sense - anyone else?

thanks for reading ladies x

 

[ncmommy]

I know how you feel and I hope this is your sticky bean!

I was lucky that I got a doctor who checked my levels through the first few weeks of early pregnancy and now gives me ultrasounds every 2 weeks.

Try and stay positive!

 

[Dahlia2007]

I am so sorry for your previous loss. I think most of us felt the same way during the early times of being pregnant again because it is such an extra-emotional time when you've had a loss before. It's just important to not let the stress get the best of you, because it's not good for this precious bundle of joy you're carrying right now. I myself, was scared up until about 18 weeks with this pregnancy. But even now, at 36 weeks, I have my days where I get scared. It's hard to imagine having a new baby at home even for someone who has never had a loss. I would say it's very normal to not believe that everything will be alright, even though it usually all goes well.

Keep your head up and I hope all goes perfectly for you :flower"