leaving a 10 year old home alone.

[kerrie24]

I have recently started to allow Nathan (11 in january) to stay in the house if I am just going to the corner shop which takes a maximum of 15 minutes.He grumbles about coming with me and would rather stay and play on his computer.
I made him aware of the ways he could get out in an emergency and always leave him with a mobile phone to call me.He isnt allowed to answer the door or use any appliances while Im out.

Now he is asking if he can stay while I go to asda,which is 15 mins walk then shopping time then 15 mins back.

I still feel a bit uncomfortable about leaving him for that long,not because I dont trust him,I just worry that something could happen when Im out.

The school allow year 5 and 6 children to come home alone(if parents sign a form),so they must think children of that age have some degree of responsibility for themselves.I dont know

Am I being silly?
What age do you think is acceptable and for how long?

 

[monkee12]

Personally I wouldn't allow a child of 13 or under stay home alone, but it depends on how mature you think your child is. x

 

[evewidow]

I think it all depends on the child . TBH i could leave my almost 7 year old ( i dont and never have before i get lynched) as he is really sensible.

You say yourself you don't feel comfortable so if that is the case then i wouldn't leave him. He will just have to moan Tell him you need his muscles for carrying bags !

 

[suzib76]

Personally no I wouldn't

I have a very good, capable and trustworthy 11 year old daughter and I would only leave her for 10 mins or so never any longer

Now the issue isn't not trusting her, it's not even that she wouldn't know what to do in an emergency, it's more about me not wanting to put her in a position where she may be exposed to that emergency in the first place.

When I was 10 I was home alone and had to deal with a kitchen fire and a huge flood in our extension above the garage. I dealt with these things, but I shouldn't of had to and I would never put my own kids in that situation

 

[seoj]

I feel it depends on the child and how comfy you are with it. We started letting our oldest stay home for bits here and there about that age... never at night, never for more than maybe an hour tops. She's very responsible though- and like you did, we only allowed her to stay indoors- not answer door- call us as needed etc etc etc... she did just fine. We just started off slow- like 15 mins here or there... then an hour max...then eventually more time. She's 15 now- so no issues being home alone- but even now, it's rare. Mostly cause we just don't go out without her much. haha. She likes to tag along

I think it's fine long as your son and you are both comfy with it and he's trust worthy. My besties son (same age) also just started this and he'd prefer to stay home that go with us on our walks- she just calls requently to check on him- insert giggle- and she makes sure he knows he HAS to answer the phone or she'll freak. LOL.

I figure, it's part of them "growing up" and becoming more independent. I tell my SD she's like a balloon. We need to let out a little air at a time or else she'll go flying around all over So yea, basically, baby steps..

 

[smelly07]

i think Age 11 when they start secondary school is when most parents i know do, they let their child walk too and from school alone and stay at home alone until parents are back from work it's very normal where i am and when my daughter is at secondary school then i will let her do they same if she feels comfortable with it..... i often think to myself my daughter plays outside with her friends alone age 7 but i couldnt leave her indoors for 10 mins whilst i popped to the shop ....lol !...............but junior school children often walk home alone too whether someone is at home or not to greet them i dont know. x

 

[JASMAK]

I think it depends on the child. My son is 9 years old, and is overly cautious and super responsible. He has two younger sisters which he will watch and take care of (when I am around...I dont leave him with his sisters) and he shows me everyday how responsible he is. I am thinking of putting him in the Home Alone course that teaches them how to prepare snacks, emergencies, etc. I think, after that, maybe for short periods of time, I would...less than an hour...but, when he is 12, then if all is the same, yes...probably a couple hours.

 

[kerrie24]

thanks everyone.I think for now it seems the amount of time Im comfortable with leaving him seems about normal.I do know of kids his age who are left to their own devices much of the day but I couldnt forgive myself if anything happened.
This time next year he will have started high school so I will re-assess then.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

i think Age 11 when they start secondary school is when most parents i know do, they let their child walk too and from school alone and stay at home alone until parents are back from work it's very normal where i am and when my daughter is at secondary school then i will let her do they same if she feels comfortable with it..... i often think to myself my daughter plays outside with her friends alone age 7 but i couldnt leave her indoors for 10 mins whilst i popped to the shop ....lol !...............but junior school children often walk home alone too whether someone is at home or not to greet them i dont know. x

This

I think once DD1 starts secondary school then I will let her start staying on her own for short periods of time. She will have to walk and get a bus to school on her so I don't really see the difference. This is the year she will also get a mobile phone.

 

[JASMAK]

Secondary school is 13 here.

 

[sabby52]

I think it depends on the child, I have a really mature and sensible 14 year old who I have been leaving alone since he was 10, it started with us running to Tesco (which is just across the road) then gradually him staying behind whenever we went out at all, now at 14 he goes nowhere with us (unless I make him lol) and hasnt done so for the past year.