Long car journey with baby

[Rachel320]

Hi all,

Looking for advice/support. My husband's family live 2 hours away in the car and he really wants us to plan taking our 8 week old to see them all in 2 weeks time.
I feel extremely nervous about taking baby on a car journey of that length. Partly because she hates the car and is very unsettled in it, and partly because I just don't feel ready to do it and I'm also nervous about staying over in another house with baby. I know my MIL will want baby passed around like a parcel which I don't want. However husbands patience is wearing thin and I feel like I'll need to just go with the plans in 2 weeks time.
Did anyone else have anxiety first time doing a long car journey and staying over somewhere else with baby?

 

[loeylo]

By 10 weeks we would definitely have felt comfortable doing that journey. My dd didn't particularly like the car, but the first 10 or so minutes were definitely the worst. It's natural that his family will want to see baby, and as long as you trust these people, and your baby is comfortable, then I would be okay with it. Maybe set ground rules such as if baby cries then you take them back. 2 hours each way is not so long that you have to stay overnight either. I'd probably drive there early afternoon and drive home in the evening.

 

[Zephram]

With an 8 week old baby I'd tell them to get in the car and to come and see you rather than you go to them.

If it's only two hours it can also be a day trip, you don't have to stay with them and they don't have to stay with you.

I completely understand because I also had mega anxiety about that kind of thing and both of my kids hated the car - however some babies will just sleep the whole way, so it might not be as bad as you feel if you do do it. I also hated how when I stayed with other people they didn't respect our routine. Now having two kids I've learnt to stand up for myself and I am very direct and just say that it's nap time or that baby is getting over stimulated and needs some quiet time. You are your baby's voice, don't be afraid to use it.

 

[Rachel320]

Thanks ladies. I know we could just go up for the day but don't you think 4 hours in the car for a 10 week old in one day is quite a lot when I could split it into two over the weekend?
Good idea about ground rules about taking baby back when she cries, I will definitely be setting that one! Also good advice about being baby's voice.
I just feel like the weekdays are so busy that this trip will totally finish me over a weekend :/ he's probably going to want to do this every 2 months which seems like a lot right now.
His parents have been coming to see us a bit but my MIL is a pain in the ass and just wants us to go up there. My husband also has a very elderly grandmother who he's very close to and she can't really travel down.
The whole thing makes me so anxious!

 

[fxmummyduck]

I think you'll be fine! Don't panic! I drove 6 hours (7 hour journey with stops) on my own when ds was 8 weeks old, and had to go to a wedding 2 hours away when he was only 3 weeks old. I would split it if it's possible just as it helps with the whole thing. Feed her before you leave and you'll probably get a decent run. Can you sit in the back with her so she's knows you're close? It might help if she's a bit unsettled, play the radio on something like classical music that helped my ds too.

 

[Boozlebub]

For me a 2 hour journey is nothing really. Both my kids first ever car journey to come home from the hospital was 2 hours and we regularly travelled that distance so it should all go well for you. I second sitting in the back with Baby, it's a lot Easier to comfort them and to check they are ok.

As for your husbands family, I understand the concern but try to also think of it from their point of view that it's their grandchild and they would love to see you all at their house. Really great advice about being the baby's voice though!

 

[minties]

My father in law died when Emma was about that age, so we drove about 2.5 hours to the funeral then 2.5 hours back the same day. She didn't like the car but slept the entire way there and most of the way back.

 

[xxxemmaxxx]

We travel a lot as family is everywhere and I think if thats how your set up is - you might as well get the baby used to being in the car. I think this is why my boys are so good in the car because they are so used to having to drive long distance.
As for the staying over - i reckon if it helped your worrying set off after a feed in the morning then travel back early evening.. that was theres a big gap inbetween the car journeys?!

 

[misspriss]

We went on a planned 10 hour car ride when DS was 8 weeks. It took 14.5 hours, we stopped every two hours or less to take DS out of the seat, feed him, change him, etc. He slept the whole was though. I would not recommend that long of a trip, but 2 hours is not long to me.

 

[jessmke]

You should be fine, baby will probably sleep the whole ride, even if there are a few fussy periods. At 10 weeks old we took our DD on a 4 hr flight to Mexico and she slept pretty much the entire trip except when she needed to be fed.

 

[ttc126]

I agree with everyone else that it should be fine ❤ I especially think it sounds like it would mean a lot to his elderly grandma to see baby. We are planning to take a 3-4 hr car trip mid December and my baby will be 6-8 weeks old. If baby's healthy I wouldn't have a concern.

 

[LoveCakes]

Honestly it'll be fine and you can stop every so often if you have to. My second isn't fond of the car either so I understand.

I don't know your family dynamic but once every 2 months to me seems more than reasonable I'm sure they're all excited to have the baby at their house.

Regarding pass the parcel I found having mine in a carrier really reduces this, it's not why I did it but people seem less likely to ask if it seems to be a hassle to get them out. Plus just tell them you think the change of scenery is a big change for baby so staying close with you will help them get used and be more comfortable there in the future

 

[Rachel320]

Thanks everyone, think we will being planning the trip within the next few weeks. DD has her first immunisations this week so that's the first hurdle to jump!