Looking for a little advice

[torsie93]

Hello Ladies

I was just wondering if any of you are experiencing this same situation as I am, and if so how are you dealing with it?

Recently it has started to really bother me that people suggest and insinuate that because I'm young I will not be a competent mother. Even my family members seem to have jumped on the bandwagon for this one. I find it hurtful because I have always wanted to be a mother and I know I will be a good one, and care for my LO in the best ways possible.

Up until now I have been able to just ignore the snide comments and remarks, but today my 10 year old cousin even told me that my situation was 'shocking'. So I'm starting to really feel the pressure from other people.

I would be grateful if any of you that are perhaps feeling the same or are getting similar comments could let me know how you deal with it and if you have any ways of staying calm and not getting angry at these judgemental people. I know that even though we are 'young' we are just as capable of being good mothers!

xxx

 

[MummyMana]

Id I were you I'd tell them just that, and how hurtful and judgemental they're being! or just ignore it completely and act like its not going on

 

[teenmommy15]

im with you my whole family is the same way and it is really hard to get through and i eventually snapped and told everyone off and i havent heard anything about it since. but dont worry about what there saying you know your gonna be a terrific mother and your baby does too and thats all that matters and those people who down you so much shouldnt be involved in you or your babys life.

 

[torsie93]

Thanks so much MummyMana, I've been trying my best to just ignore it. Just seems to have been getting on top of me recently. I'm sure everything will sort itself out once my LO is born, just have to wait a while until she is here

 

[torsie93]

im with you my whole family is the same way and it is really hard to get through and i eventually snapped and told everyone off and i havent heard anything about it since. but dont worry about what there saying you know your gonna be a terrific mother and your baby does too and thats all that matters and those people who down you so much shouldnt be involved in you or your babys life.

Thanks! I'm sure we will all be excellent mothers. It's just difficult to deal with the judgement sometimes. I'm glad I'm not suffering alone!

 

[teenmommy15]

its hard to push through it really is but you'll make it through i promise if i can make it you can

 

[snowfia]

People are always going to judge other mums. Whether it's because they're young, old, BF, FF, cos you're baby's crying, anything.
The best thing to do is to just ignore them. And when it's family and friends, just prove them wrong

 

[megsw1994]

Sadly this is common for young mums! All you can do is grin and bare it, just smile and prove them all wrong.

 

[torsie93]

I look forward to proving all the negative people wrong!

 

[octosquishy]

I was 16 when I got pregnant, and trust me I heard it from everyone.
And it scared me. It really did get to me (not to mention I was married and living on my own at this time, so I felt a little more responsible, but you know how preggo hormones are) and I started to feel myself like I wasn't responsible to be a mom.

And boy was I wrong.

The things that everybody said couldn't be farther from the truth.
Dare I say it, being a mum is the easiest thing I have ever done in my life. It's nothing like everybody says it is. The first month is the hardest, especially if you have a c-section (like I did) then after that, everything just falls into place.

Just don't let them get to you, your mom instincts kick in, regardless of age, and things just click.
Being a teen mom is NOTHING like the show on MTV, lol.

 

[skyesmom]

well if i were you i'd tell them how they make you feel and how thoughtful, sensitive, caring and competent parents/brothers/sisters/siblings they are themselves when they say things like that. what a lovely way to make life harder to a pregnant woman.

then maybe they'd think about telling it to you again.

i don't think it's good to suck it up all alone when it comes to this, although it takes a great deal of strength and courage to step up to everybody and speak your heart honestly about how it makes u feel. so if you do speak up - mention this too.

massive to u!

 

[Jaycrew]

I was a teen mom twice- and I still here about it until this day- My daughter is 16 herself now the other 14 and the other about to be 13. let me tell you- Im 32. Someone made a comment about me - and i dint have the say ANYTHING!!!! My 16 year old daughter stepped up to home base swung that bat and hit that hater right out of the field -let me tell you something people WILL ALWAYS judge you because either they lack the courage, the strenght and the confidence to do what you are brave enough to do- DONT YOU EVER LISTEN to them EVER!!! you keep your head staight my love and finish your education- it will be hard but you CAN do it! I worked 2 jobs in highschool and graduated on time with my class walked across stage with another bun in the oven- im not saying its right - im just saying life happened. The worst thing you can ever do is listen to negative thoughts- I tell you no lie!! Please - you are blessed - God blessed you with an opportunity to carry a baby- and have a baby- you focus on your child- The greatest gift a good mom at the very least is a "thank you" - and when your child says mommy i love you or hugs you or smile its first smile at you- or wiggles away from someone else to be with you - you KNOW your are a mother and your child is happy and secure with you- Honey - ley me tell you please promise me you will not by into those lies- I wasnt a teen mom like MTV portrays- I have made mistakes we all do thats just part of growing up with or without a child- but having a baby typically just makes a person that much more conscious about decisions that they make- Again Please promise me that you keep your head up love your baby and do all that you can to make you happy and your baby happy!!!! promise yourself that you will not take in all the negative comments from anybody!!!!

 

[Jaycrew]

You are stronger than you know- Trust me!!

 

[torsie93]

Thank you so much Jaycrew! Amazing to hear from someone that has made it through this situation with so much strength, you are an inspiration xx

 

[newmommy21]

Jaycrew-what an amazing story! You're such a strong person.

torsie93--people honestly just don't understand. They aren't going through what you are, and it is different. I don't know how old you are, but I am 21, graduated college and now am working full time in my degree. People judge me because of my age, saying it'll be waaay to hard, and out of my league. Well I am definitely setting out to prove them wrong, to show the world that anything is possible, whether your pregnant at 14 or 40 everyone deserves to be a mom

 

[Jaycrew]

Honey- Pelase you ladies are truely a testimony and will continue to be testimonies and inspirations... you just continue to do the right thing- Times will get hard trust me - but im telling you - you have the strength to get up and fight! DOn you Ladies EVER give up- if you take nothing else from what Im saying - please remember DONT GIVE UP- thats the best advice i can give-when I look at young moms or moms to be I dont judge- because I know first hand what they are going through ans some have it worse than what i went through. But I always smile and if i see a young mom with her baby like you newmommy21... it makes me smile too- because its just an adoration that I have and been there but I know the joy - But please dont you ever look down on yourself - I let people ridicule me and felt like i had to justify my decisions for 15 years!!! youhear me 15 years until one day I just woke up and was like - I dont have to justify crap - I work my butt off- Im not perfect and will never be perfect but im a damn good mother - Im a provider, Im a wife today- and im still a sister, a daughter a friend a confidant- so much more- Me being a teen mom did not define Who I AM as a person it just bulit my strength- and im a force - I pray - I keep God in my life- dont get me wrong bcuz I can still drop it low huni ; ) (momma still got it) Im just saying that i am me- and my kids love a ppreciate all of me and that is all that really matters and when times get hard - I know that God is just putting me through the test because he know i can pass it- I tell my girls now- when you go "THROUGH" something means that there is an "end" to it- we pass through a tunnel - we know eventually it will end-I hate to go on- but i hate when people say these things to you young ladies - I ADMIRE YOU LADIES SO MUCH!!! SO much - Im in tears hear because I know what it was and I tell you no lie - You can do it!!!! You are wonderfully made- and so are your babies! XOXOXO!!! you ladies are so welcome to inbox me if you need advice or anything , vent - cry , anything! im hear - nobody should be made to feel like that.

 

[ShellyRoma]

Being a good mother is not only down to age. Although, it's best to finish your education first. But it' happened and do not let anyone make you feel as though you will not be a good mother because some of these adult mums are learning on the job too

 

[blamesydney]

I'm just about to turn 18, and my grandparents still call me a bad parent. Why? Because I have to leave her for a moment to pee. I should be able to hold it until she goes to bed. Because I have to go to college. I should marry a doctor and stay home with my daughter 24/7. Because I have to take a break to do homework. I should stay up 24/7. I know I'm a good mother. My daughter is happy and she loves me. I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't cause me to break out into tears when they say this to me, but I know that I am a good parent, and that is all that matters.

 

[Abigail8673]

Screw em' I am married, with a house, a husband with a really good job, we are super happy and my family hated every minute of it. said my baby was "Unnecessary" and stuff it was so stupid now im 5 weeks from my due date and they are all roses and excited. its just a faze once they realize reality that you are going to be a mom and a good one they give up on the bs and crap

 

[Jaycrew]

Torsie - how are you doing there? I just wanted to check in on you make sure your ok. xoxo