Hi all, sorry if this is in the wrong section but thought I would get more help here.
My daughters dad only started seeing her when she was 17 months old. All communication was done through his mother when I was pregnant as he was 'too scared'. They wanted me to have a DNA test and I didn't because he was such an idiot (I know I should've had one done to put minds at rest but he was honestly such a dick, he drank A LOT and smoked weed so I didn't see why I should, I do regret it now). I got in contact with him when she was 17 months asking him if he ever wanted to be involved. That's the only reason he sees her, if I didn't ask he wouldn't give a shit still.
That's just the back story, now he's been seeing her for 4 months and I'm so fed up of his attitude and behaviour! He's so irresponsible and doesn't care at all but it's all petty things so I need someone to tell me am I making a big deal out of it all?!
The second time I was due to take her down he text me saying 'btw I'm a tad hungover'
we had words when I went down and he said he didn't even want to drink and that his friends made him. I told him I didn't want him hungover when he saw her and he agreed. Then from then it's been small things that keep adding up. He text me once saying 'I know you don't like me seeing her when I'm hungover so shall I see her a different day because I'm off out tonight'. He doesn't ask how she is for days. On Boxing Day he spent most of the day on his phone 'organising plans for the night' (his words). He barely spoke/speaks to her, he doesn't really play with her he just jumps out on her scaring her which she doesn't like and I've told him that. When I go to pick her up she runs to me and doesn't want me to put her down, on the rare occasions she let's me if she sees him she comes running straight back. He had time off college so I thought he would ask to see her but he was 'too busy' when he doesn't really do anything. He used to put peppa pig on TV and sit her in front of it for the whole hour he had her and not speak to her, I asked him time and time again not to but he still puts cartoons on now. He fills her up on junk food to the point where she's sick when I take her home even though I've asked not to. A few weeks ago he had cartoons on again, fed her rubbish and took her out (not far from his house but it was freezing) without a coat on. I told him that was his last chance because I was sick of him ignoring everything i asked and not making an effort with her, I use my petrol to take her down his house, I haven't long stopped putting her food and drink in her bag because he never offered her anything, I have to take nappies down as they don't have any there, he doesn't pay a penny towards her. He did buy a car seat so he could get her. He came up, the car stunk of stale smoke and the baby wouldn't get in the car 
she was screaming and clinging to me for dear life, they're basically strangers to her. After that I felt bad so I thought we could do something nice as a family and asked him if he wanted to take the baby to the cinema with me to watch peppa pig. He said yes, was late getting ready because he was out the night before so we nearly missed it anyway and he didn't speak to her the WHOLE way there I let it all go and thought it's my fault I left it too short notice. That was when he had half term off college, as I dropped him off I said 'i can't bring her down Thursday because I've got work' and he said 'oh that's alright I'm off all week you can bring her down any day'. I didn't hear off him until Saturday (not even a text asking how she was) night when he asked if I was taking her down the next day so I said I thought he was seeing her in the week and he said 'oh I must've forgot' really?! Forgot to see his child?! That was the straw that broke the camels back.
I told him if he wanted to see her from now he can go through a contact centre. Am I being too harsh? I don't want my daughter to miss out on a relationship with her father but he's so useless she isn't missing out on anything, she doesn't ask for him at all, she's not bothered if she sees him. Would a contact centre be best? Would they even accept the situation or is just for kids in danger of abuse? Would a court order or something like that be better?
I'm so sick of being walked over and being disrespected. I've brought her up on my own without him once asking how she was or asking how I was and now he's doing what he wants still if it was up to me she would not be seeing him now because he's such a waste of space!
Sorry for the HUGE rant but I really needed that off my chest, advice please anybody? X
My daughters dad only started seeing her when she was 17 months old. All communication was done through his mother when I was pregnant as he was 'too scared'. They wanted me to have a DNA test and I didn't because he was such an idiot (I know I should've had one done to put minds at rest but he was honestly such a dick, he drank A LOT and smoked weed so I didn't see why I should, I do regret it now). I got in contact with him when she was 17 months asking him if he ever wanted to be involved. That's the only reason he sees her, if I didn't ask he wouldn't give a shit still.
That's just the back story, now he's been seeing her for 4 months and I'm so fed up of his attitude and behaviour! He's so irresponsible and doesn't care at all but it's all petty things so I need someone to tell me am I making a big deal out of it all?!
The second time I was due to take her down he text me saying 'btw I'm a tad hungover'
we had words when I went down and he said he didn't even want to drink and that his friends made him. I told him I didn't want him hungover when he saw her and he agreed. Then from then it's been small things that keep adding up. He text me once saying 'I know you don't like me seeing her when I'm hungover so shall I see her a different day because I'm off out tonight'. He doesn't ask how she is for days. On Boxing Day he spent most of the day on his phone 'organising plans for the night' (his words). He barely spoke/speaks to her, he doesn't really play with her he just jumps out on her scaring her which she doesn't like and I've told him that. When I go to pick her up she runs to me and doesn't want me to put her down, on the rare occasions she let's me if she sees him she comes running straight back. He had time off college so I thought he would ask to see her but he was 'too busy' when he doesn't really do anything. He used to put peppa pig on TV and sit her in front of it for the whole hour he had her and not speak to her, I asked him time and time again not to but he still puts cartoons on now. He fills her up on junk food to the point where she's sick when I take her home even though I've asked not to. A few weeks ago he had cartoons on again, fed her rubbish and took her out (not far from his house but it was freezing) without a coat on. I told him that was his last chance because I was sick of him ignoring everything i asked and not making an effort with her, I use my petrol to take her down his house, I haven't long stopped putting her food and drink in her bag because he never offered her anything, I have to take nappies down as they don't have any there, he doesn't pay a penny towards her. He did buy a car seat so he could get her. He came up, the car stunk of stale smoke and the baby wouldn't get in the car she was screaming and clinging to me for dear life, they're basically strangers to her. After that I felt bad so I thought we could do something nice as a family and asked him if he wanted to take the baby to the cinema with me to watch peppa pig. He said yes, was late getting ready because he was out the night before so we nearly missed it anyway and he didn't speak to her the WHOLE way there I let it all go and thought it's my fault I left it too short notice. That was when he had half term off college, as I dropped him off I said 'i can't bring her down Thursday because I've got work' and he said 'oh that's alright I'm off all week you can bring her down any day'. I didn't hear off him until Saturday (not even a text asking how she was) night when he asked if I was taking her down the next day so I said I thought he was seeing her in the week and he said 'oh I must've forgot' really?! Forgot to see his child?! That was the straw that broke the camels back. I told him if he wanted to see her from now he can go through a contact centre. Am I being too harsh? I don't want my daughter to miss out on a relationship with her father but he's so useless she isn't missing out on anything, she doesn't ask for him at all, she's not bothered if she sees him. Would a contact centre be best? Would they even accept the situation or is just for kids in danger of abuse? Would a court order or something like that be better?
I'm so sick of being walked over and being disrespected. I've brought her up on my own without him once asking how she was or asking how I was and now he's doing what he wants still
if it was up to me she would not be seeing him now because he's such a waste of space! Sorry for the HUGE rant but I really needed that off my chest, advice please anybody? X
I will never understand what is wrong with these guys, they have it so easy but manage to complain that they're the one who has it tough - when we are the ones doing ALL the work. Well they're missing out big time and will live to regret it one day - these beautiful children are only little for a blink of an eye.
