Im so sorry for you loss, what is his name?
I too lost a baby boy at 18 weeks. Also a little girl at 15 weeks, A little girl to meningitis and 3 miscarriages. Each time i had an overwhelming need to try again straight awsy and thats what we did. Like you, i had severe anxiety, not just about the pregnancy etc, but i would convince myself id die from cancer or in childbirth. At one point i had it in my head id die at 28. Not sure why im telling you this, but wanted you to see youre not alone, i guess traumatic events have huge effects on us. Cbt helped, is this an option for you?