Lost My princess at 18 weeks:(

[Bubz06]

I lost my princess at 18 weeks in feb, was so excited to have this baby as it was my 1st. im 20 years old, and I know i'm still young. but I cant stop thinking about what it would be like, I really want another one, but my partner just doesn't agree, I really don't know what to do with my self. sometimes I just break down crying.

any one got any advice?

 

[honeybunch2k7]

One day at a time.

No advice, but I can sympathize. Ex was like that. We would have had a baby anyway why not try for another.

 

[Bubz06]

that's exactly my point he just don't want one. thanks

 

[honeybunch2k7]

Maybe he needs more time. He might feel like you are rushing and not grieving properly. Anyway, I hope he changes his mind.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Men just don't understand the devastation of this. If you ever need a friend I am always here, Andrea XOooXO

 

[AthenasPrayer]

My advice? Break down and cry....Don't hold it in. I'm sorry for your loss. I just lost my son at 18w 3d on July 29th.

 

[fairsinger]

I lost a daughter at 16 1/2 weeks a few years ago, and my best advice is to find a therapist or a support group (or both) to help you through the grief process. It takes time, a lot more time than I expected, to process the pain and grief (I still have a box of things I cannot touch because it makes me sad to even think about it). I totally understand your desire for another child, but give yourself some time...the next pregnancy may be very stressful (mine was, as I was constantly worried that something would go wrong), so you want to be as prepared as possible for that.

Does your OH not want to try again at all, or just not now? If he doesn't want to try again at all, that may be very difficult for you. If he just wants to wait a bit, then maybe you can agree on when to start trying again? In the meantime, cry and mourn and process through your grief, and know it may take a lot longer than you'd expect, but eventually the pain will decrease. My thoughts are with you!

 

[dairymomma]

I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my baby at 14 weeks early in July and it was my 7th m/c overall. It's hard and you def need to take time to grieve. I found it really helped to talk about my miscarriages, I found a talisman of sorts and every time I'm feel sad about my babies, I now get a bouquet of pink roses to perk me up, and I started researching miscarriage causes/testing/treatments. I felt like learning as much as I could about miscarriage helped me feel like I was DOING something productive. I also started working on my diet and exercising more. Again, it made me feel like I was doing something as being healthy could only help me the next time I got pregnant, right?

 

[Mahoghani]

I lost my little boy at 16 weeks in September last year. It seemed like it took forever for my husband to agree to start trying again. I said the same thing, that if he'd lived we'd have a baby by now so why did he want to wait? I think I ended up bullying him into it. In any case, I'm cautiously pregnant again and... It really isn't the same after a loss. It's taking everything I have to keep myself together day to day. Instead of excited and happy I find myself petulant and scared all the time... I am so worried that something is going to go wrong. If I'd gotten pregnant earlier, just after my loss, I don't think I'd have been able to handle it even as well as I am now.

Hopefully, that is what your partner is thinking. That you need time to process and greive. Which isn't what you want to hear. Trust me, I get that. But try giving him some time, give yourself some time. Personally I waited until after the would have been due date to start trying. It felt like getting pregnant before his would have been born would have been trampling on his memory.

Trying to keep busy helped. I researched hospitals in the area to give birth in. Which seems silly as I wasn't even pregnant. But I had a terrible experience at the military hospital where I had Silver (my angel), so I wanted to have a place picked out when I got pregnant again. Having a little project baby related helps for some reason.

Hang in there. I'm sure there's a rainbow in your future. Til then try to take it easy and be gentle on yourself.

 

[iluvmyfamily]

I am sorry for your loss. When I miscarried my DH didn't wanna try anymore. It took a few weeks before he said ok and we began trying again and I got pregnant 4 months after the miscarriage.

Give it some more time. I think he's in the grieving process. It's normal for you both to feel the way you do.

 

[paigeypoo]

As much as the desire of motherhood is looming if the guy does not want a child, its not a good idea to go ahead. You have a wonderful opportunity and that is to chose, to chose when and who you want to have your baby with. and you have time.

 

[Radiance]

I agree with Mahoghani. After losing a baby, most women while grieving tend to desire wanting another baby right away, even if you know it's not the right time. You need time to grieve, make sure you are ready. Your partner also needs his time to grieve, I would respect his wishes. Maybe try talking to him to get a better understanding of why is doesn't want another baby (right now).

Sorry for your loss