Lots of worries

[LadyLovenox]

Hi ladies! My loss was 2 years ago next week, and my husband and I also struggle to get pregnant, so I am finally pregnant 7w2d with twins after 4 rounds of ivf. You can imagine how scared I am.

My two main concerns are:

1. Symptoms come and go. One day my boobs are super sore and full, the next day, nothing. Ugh. One day I'm super bloated, the next, I look thinner than before I got pregnant. I hate this!!

2. I have spotted brown every single day since my Bfp. I have had 2 bleeding scares if bright red blood, which gushed out, but then stopped after those initial few minutes. I was diagnosed with a small subchorionic hematoma. This has got me worried sick too. The bleeding bothers me more than the diagnosis, bc I know the outcome is generally good.

My husband gets upset with me and says I should finally be happy, but I just feel so so so scared and it's so hard. Just looking for support, I guess.

 

[dairymomma]

LadyLovenox-first off I'm so sorry for your loss and your fertility battles since. I've had many losses of my own so I understand the fears there.

As to your concerns, it's totally normal to have intermittent symptoms. We almost all have that. Part of it may be any medications you are on and a good part of it is probably due to stress. I know that stress is a HUGE symptom blocker. If I just relax and let myself enjoy things for a bit, my symptoms tend to be more noticeable because I'm not worrying about it. But it's also possible that this is how your pregnancies are. Some women have signs that come and go, others don't have any, and others yet are sicker than a dog for months. We're all different. What is likely happening is your hCG is rising so you feel sick/sore boobs/etc, then your body adjusts to the higher numbers and your symptoms go away, and then it does it all over again. So come and go is perfectly normal.

Spotting can be normal too, and it's especially common with multiples and/or hematomas. I've had 2 successful pregnancies with bleeds in the first tri so I know how nerve-wracking it is to see blood but as I said, those were successes despite the bleeding. One was a subchorionic hematoma and it dissolved on it owns without causing any more issues. The other was unexplained bleeding with my last pregnancy and I had it for 6 straight weeks. It varied from bright red bleeding and a few clots to pink tinged cm to brown discharge but scan after scan showed baby was still hanging on tight. And it's also common to spot if you are taking progesterone as it can irritate the cervix and cause bleeding. I'm not sure if you are on it with your IVF protocol but that could be another cause.

So I hope this helps. I know it's scary to be in the first tri with a prior loss but hang in there.

 

[LadyLovenox]

Thank you so much for your sweet, thoughtful response! It is extremely hard to overanalyze every little thing, and fear another loss. I'm so glad to hear that the coming and going of pregnancy symptoms is normal, and experienced by many of you. My sore boobs returned last night, only to be gone again this morning. It's crazy how the soreness of my boobs decides my current happiness level. Lol

Yes, the bleeding in first trimester (or anytime, I'm sure) is soooo tough. I literally have a panic attack every time I see it. The doctor keeps saying it's normal with an sch.... But still. Ugh. I wish they made black toilet paper so I didn't have to know what was coming out of me then. Haha

Thanks again for your kind words. It means more than you know!

 

[dairymomma]

You are welcome. It's always amazing to me how much more hopeful I feel after I get a response myself so I try to do the same for others on here. We're here to support each other and alot of people out there in the 'real world' just don't understand the fears we PAL ladies have because they haven't been in our shoes. So relax as best you can and if you need to vent/rant/whatever, do it. We're here to listen. And if you ever want, feel free to PM me. I'm usually online once or twice a day.