low and slow rising HCG...possible ectopic...really struggling

[Katie_A]

Note: sorry, I posted this in the First Trimester section but then realized it might be better here...so sorry for the double post!


So...I'm dealing with some really bad news right now. Here's the story...

I got my first BFP on the 9th, and was completely shocked and overjoyed. It was only our second cycle TTC and we had been told to expect it to take a long time as my periods are super crazy irregular. We couldn't believe I had gotten pregnant so quickly and we were just so incredibly happy.

Then I went in the doctor to have blood drawn to confirm my pregnancy on Thursday the 11th. Got a call this Monday telling me to come back in, my HCG was only 44. They tested again and I got a call yesterday from the nurse saying my levels had only gone up to 81 (still low and definitely NOT doubling at the rate they should be), she asked me if I was having any pain, and when I told her I had been having a strong burning sensation in my lower left abdomen that had turned into sharp pain over the morning she told me to go straight to the emergency room.

So, I spent 10 hours in the hospital waiting and waiting and doing tests and pretty much freaking out. My husband was working and I couldn't get in touch with him. Thank god my mom was able to be there with me or I don't know what I would have done.

In the end the conclusion was basically that they are very concerned the pregnancy is ectopic (they saw something on my ovary but don't know if it's a cyst or could be the pregnancy growing there) but it's too early to tell for sure (I'm only 4 weeks 4 days) and they don't want to treat me for an ectopic unless they know for sure. The doctors were all really nice, but they didn't leave me with much hope. They said with my HCG low and rising so slowly (44 on the 11th, 81 on the 15th, 91 on the 17th) the chances of the pregnancy being viable are very slim even if it's not ectopic.

So now we just watch and wait. Going back for more blood work tomorrow and again next week along with another ultrasound.

Obviously my first hope is for it to not be ectopic since that's the most dangerous and also my chances of having a subsequent ectopic would be much higher. But no matter what, the thought of losing this baby is just devastating. I was so overjoyed that it happened so quickly for us, after being told it would take a long time. I know everyone says to be happy to at least know I can get pregnant at all, and it seems silly to be so attached to this little bean after only a couple of weeks, but I was really so happy about it and now just feel devastated. I hate having to just wait and wait knowing I will probably lose it. The TWW feels like the easiest thing ever compared to this.

Part of me wants to be realistic and just let go of the idea of having this baby, and part of me wants to cling to any tiny shred of hope that it might be ok. Either way I just feel so overwhelmed and sad. Getting through each day is going to be hard until I know for sure what's happening.

Anyway, any stories anyone has of similar experiences and how it turned out (either good or bad) would be helpful at this point since there's so much uncertainty. Thanks

 

[mummy3]

No personal experience but wanted to send hugs I hope you get answers fast

 

[steph.]

Hi Katie, how are things? We were in one of the September threads together and you were the only one who got a bfp. I hope everything turns out ok for you. I lost my first little bean too and know how devastating it is xxx

 

[Katie_A]

Hi Katie, how are things? We were in one of the September threads together and you were the only one who got a bfp. I hope everything turns out ok for you. I lost my first little bean too and know how devastating it is xxx

Still the same sadly, betas rising but creeping up only slightly each time. U/S still shows nothing in my uterus. I did start bleeding this past Saturday and it has continued but it's very light. The doctors say it's safe to wait and watch a little longer because I could just be having a natural miscarriage. Honestly at this point I hope that's the case. I've given up the hope that this could be a baby for us, and as devastating as it is I just want it over naturally and quickly, no drugs or anything. I hope we can be back to TTC soon. Thanks for checking in

 

[steph.]

Not knowing what is happening must be the worst...so emotionally draining. Big and I hope you get some answers soon xxx

 

[Katie_A]

Just wanted to update that I ended up miscarrying the pregnancy naturally a couple of days ago. Very relieved that it wasn't ectopic but obviously still devastated by the loss. Hopefully will be ready to move on a try again soon though. Thanks for the support ladies.

 

[steph.]

So sorry Katie However I am glad that it wasn't ectopic and that your body did it naturally. I know exactly what you are going through and it's so hard, even harder I think when it's your first. I cried for a month straight when I lost my bean at 8 weeks, and then realised my period was late and found out I was pregnant with dd1 (we used condoms that month as I wasn't ready to ttc again ) . Nature works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Big and hopefully I'll see you back in the ttc section soon xxx