Lttc and now struggling to even imagine a baby in my life...

[Ss83]

So I was, compared to my peers, late in deciding to try for babies. We'd been married over 3 years and I was 29 and everyone around me was having kids, we were the first to get married and I felt we were so young at 25 and I just didn't feel ready. I loved our life, jus me and dh, I didn't need any pressure to start a family..although I got it!

Anyway...16 months on of ttc..fertility clinics and clomid pills as a starting point...I'm struggling to imagine my life now with a baby. I feel like we're concentrating so much on pregnancy and babies, but its like I don't actually believe it wil happen. I get my hopes up, and am in tears for each negative hpt...but deep down I'm not surprised, I just have this feeling it won't happen.

Does anyone else understand how I'm feeling? It's like we've been focused so long conception, it almos defines us asnall our close family and friends know our issues...and it's like the long term goal had been forgotten sometimes...for us to be parents.

I don't know...we are distracting ourselves and making the most of our time with loads of hols, weeekends away etc and both chasing our careers. I love my life...it's almost perfect....but maybe that's part of the reason...I can't imagine it anymore with babies and how it would change...

Or maybe I'm just tired with it all...and it's healthy to accept that my life is good and not having babies isn't the end of the world...

No judgements pls girls...I just feel a bit out of it right now....exhaustion with months of weekly bloods, clinic apts and such like...it's just not how any of us imagine starting a family, right? It shouldn't be this hard...

 

[flou]

Hi ss83 i understand what you mean about feeling like it is never going to happen. I have wanted to have children since i can remember but have waited until i am in a position to be able to support them bith financially and emotionally. However, just recently ive begin to wonder what life would be like if we never have children. Is my lovely DH enough? Im tired of ttc and feel very frustrated by the whole process. I want a child so bad but i don't want those feelings to rule my life because its making me unhappy. I have decided that my DH is enough but that won't stop us trying but just that i dont want the fact whether i have a child or not to be the reason i am happy or not. Try not to beat yourself up with your feelings. It is hard to imagine having children and how they will change your life. The fact that you have got disappointed shows your desire but i think your thoughts come from not wanting to be unhappy and no one can judge you for that.