Main breadwinner

[Beccaxo]

Hi all, just wondering if any Mum's on here are the main breadwinner in their households? I have recently started a full time job, I was going to go back part time but my partner has been deemed unfit for work due to chronic asthma & other health problems so he stays at home with our 20 month old son, some of my more traditional side of the family find this strange that a women of my age (20) is the main breadwinner & assume that my partner should be the one who is working & providing for the family. I feel that men & women are equal & that if I want to be the main breadwinner than I can be, I used to be a stay at home mum whilst my partner went to work but due to his illness he had to leave & the roles reversed. I love my job & the money is decent so I don't see the major issue? I may not be at home as much as I want but my son is building a really good bond with my partner now which is lovely, I can see the benefits of my being at work rubbing off already & I wouldn't change this. ​

 

[Rota]

Im the main bread winner in our family, have been for a number of years. OH currently works part time but is at risk of being made redundant. It works best for us as i knew what i wanted carer wise and i was able to go and get it.

A lot of people think that its weird that i work full time and he is the main care taker.

 

[Equreuil]

We both work... but sometimes I feel like I'm the main breadwinner. I have our budget set up so all the bills each month come out of just my check. The only reason I do this is because I'm on salary and get the same amount each month. So I can pay the same amount to credit cards and such each month (including some into a saving account for baby).

My hubby gets paid hourly and working for a campground, means his checks are a little low at times. So his pay is split between gas and spending money. With gas prices what they are it doesn't always leave much to spend otherwise.

 

[LoraLoo]

Im a SAHM at the moment but before that I was the main breadwinner.

I once had someone comment something to me about DH doing all the hard work (we didnt know him very well) and when I replied that I worked too he sniggered and said 'What, by work you mean looking after the kids'? I soon shut him up! I think its men in particular that seem to have an issue with it. Like you say, we should be seen as equal x

 

[fluffyblue]

I'm the breadwinner, my hubby is a sahd. We made the decision very easily after he was made redundant last year, its hard moneys tight but I love it, house is immaculate, dinners cooked and I get fun with the kids

 

[bookreader]

Yes i earn more than my OH and am going back to work in a couple of months when LO will be 9 months. Im hoping to get hours around my OH shifts and for us to have some time together (i dont work a full time week), but if any of us has to give up hours it will be him.
It isnt the norm around here, but neither is it that unusual. I have a friend who is a sahd.

 

[Calley94]

I'm the same. When I was pregnant we both had well paid jobs. OH was made redundant when I was 4 mths pregnant, got another job then lost that when my maternity was about to finish. I got made redundant as my maternity finished then we were both looking and I found a job first. I can easily earn more than him and it just works. I feel like I had a year with her so why shouldn't it be his turn. I think it is a privilage for her to get time spent with her dad. My only worry is what if we want another one, how will it work? My OH has also developed health issues since I became pregnant. Why is life so complicated?!

 

[LilyValley]

I'm in a similar position but I'm not as happy with it as others seem to be. However, I've taken hope from the responses on this thread that it will actually work out well for me, so fingers crossed .

My DH has a chronic illness which won't get any better than it is now, when we decided to have our LO we were still under the impression that he'd make more of a recovery and that I could return to work part time but it just hasn't worked out. He's having to reduce his hours further to 3 days and his pay is about to be revised to reflect this. I'm currently on maternity leave and was planning to be off for a year (until Nov) but I'm having to go back in June so that we can cover our bills. The current plan is for our parents to look after LO whilst we are at work, then DH to have him on one of his days off (he has to rest on the other). I'm heartbroken because I don't want to leave my baby but I know it's for the best, lots of people have told me how 'odd' it is that I'll be the one working full time, mainly because my DH doesn't want his illness common knowledge so they think it's through choice. To be honest, part of me is happy to keep working as I was before as I do enjoy my job but it's quite unusual where I am for the woman to be the breadwinner.

Deep down I know that once I'm back I'll be happy to be there, but people certainly don't see this situation as normal!

 

[BadassMom]

My OH and I have decided that since child care costs are so high, and we don't really want LO in day care so young (not judging others, its just our choice) so since I earn more and have more potential for advancing that he will be the stay at home parent. So far it's been working pretty well!

I do have a question for you ladies though. It's something I've been struggling with since we started this arrangement. Does anyone else feel jealous that their partners get to spend more time with LO and fear that LO will like them more? I know it's so immature but I can't help feeling like that sometimes.

 

[Becwantsababy]

I am lucky that my OH earns more than me and has great potential at work. I would be heartbroken if I had to go back to work full time. We have worked things out at the moment so that I can be a sahm if I want so I think I will see how I feel once I've had my first one.

My SIL is having a problem with her daughter. She was the primary carer from birth to 6 months while her OH was incarcerated. When he came home they spent about 3 months where both of them were caring for her but for the last 3/4 months it has just been him while she has gone back to work full time.

She was telling me the other day that she is having a big problem with Poppy at the moment as she won't go to her anymore. She always wants to be with her dad. To the point where she went to bath Poppy and she just cried and cried until she made herself sick as she wanted her dad, as soon as he walked into the room she stopped and was fine. That really broke my heart, I would hate to be in that position. I hope she sorts it out soon.

 

[BadassMom]

I am lucky that my OH earns more than me and has great potential at work. I would be heartbroken if I had to go back to work full time. We have worked things out at the moment so that I can be a sahm if I want so I think I will see how I feel once I've had my first one.

My SIL is having a problem with her daughter. She was the primary carer from birth to 6 months while her OH was incarcerated. When he came home they spent about 3 months where both of them were caring for her but for the last 3/4 months it has just been him while she has gone back to work full time.

She was telling me the other day that she is having a big problem with Poppy at the moment as she won't go to her anymore. She always wants to be with her dad. To the point where she went to bath Poppy and she just cried and cried until she made herself sick as she wanted her dad, as soon as he walked into the room she stopped and was fine. That really broke my heart, I would hate to be in that position. I hope she sorts it out soon.

Wow, your post is in quite bad taste and frankly insulting.

 

[LoveCakes]

If we are lucky enough to finally have kids I'll be the breadwinner by far. I love my job and earn good money with future prospects.

For me the only disadvantage of being the sole breadwinner would be how OH feels about it. I believe he'd be amazing at it but other people would make him feel bad as it's not 'normal'. His mum has already pretty much told me she expects me to give up work or go part time but has never mentioned it to OH. Strangely society accepts a mum who would rather stay at home than a dad who would. For me it should be equal as parents love their children equally. Having lady bits doesn't mean you want to spent time with your child more any more than man bits make you choose work first.

As for the post about the lo preferring her dad, kids go through phases. She might change her mind next week. Also would your sister prefer to be at home and the baby love her and cry only at the dad?

 

[whitewash00]

I make more money currently but my wife recently got hired for a new job that she starts the end of the month, she will surpass me as the main breadwinner. hey, I can't complain!

 

[Becwantsababy]

I am lucky that my OH earns more than me and has great potential at work. I would be heartbroken if I had to go back to work full time. We have worked things out at the moment so that I can be a sahm if I want so I think I will see how I feel once I've had my first one.

My SIL is having a problem with her daughter. She was the primary carer from birth to 6 months while her OH was incarcerated. When he came home they spent about 3 months where both of them were caring for her but for the last 3/4 months it has just been him while she has gone back to work full time.

She was telling me the other day that she is having a big problem with Poppy at the moment as she won't go to her anymore. She always wants to be with her dad. To the point where she went to bath Poppy and she just cried and cried until she made herself sick as she wanted her dad, as soon as he walked into the room she stopped and was fine. That really broke my heart, I would hate to be in that position. I hope she sorts it out soon.

Wow, your post is in quite bad taste and frankly insulting.

Why is it in bad taste and insulting? I am only writing about the position my SIL is in. I completley understand that this is just a phase but i feel for her in that she can't have that one on one time with her daughter when she comes home from work. I'm sure it would be just as bad if it was the other way round as well and I am sure she will grow out of it. So I am sure it would be hard regardless of which parent the child won't go to.

If I am to be in the same position as them when I have my first and I had to go back to work then I will. I'll do anything for my family but as it is at the moment, it is looking like I will have a choice.

I am sorry if you thought it was insulting as that was not my intention.