Memory Box....Unhealthy?

[Jodie__x]

I dont think this is unhealthy at all. I have a Photo album/box thing where i've kept all of Jaydens stuff.
Like photo's of him , scan photos , hospital bands , death certificate . the blanket he was in at the hospital .all sorts really . i also have a nice big candle with his photo and a poem on that the funeral directors had made for me .

 

[Loo]

I think there are two issues here - which are not necessarily the same thing.

The first is your memory box, which clearly all the ladies here think is a fab idea (and I agree - I have a similar pack of my first scans etc from my mc)

The second issue is that you feel you are sometimes actively avoiding getting pregnant (avoiding ov time) even though you want to get pregnant. I don't think that has anything to do with your memory box. I think that has more to do with protecting yourself from feeling that pain again. That's just a protective mechanism of your subconcious mind to try and avoid the heartache possily happening again.

I think it's worth working through those feelings with OH and maybe explaining that the memory box isn't what is holding you back...

If I am totally out of line, then sorry and ignore me!! LOL

Hope it all goes well and best of luck for the future.
xx

 

[Hevz]

I have memory boxes for my live children as well as the ones I lost. Sometimes I find it helpful to look through my angels memory boxes and a good cry does me the world of good....sometimes I look through them and think about how much I enjoyed carrying them and spending those few precious hours togeather after they were born and how important it was that we did share that time before they both went to be angels.


They're not unhealthy at all and can be useful for writing down how you feel and putting it inside the box etc. Much better than bottling it all up....that's how I feel anyway

 

[v2007]

I have a big pink memory box full of Taylors things. In it are her hand prints, clothes all sealed up, locks of her hair, cards and pics of her funeral flowers.

It keeps her memory alive and what you are doing is so normal.

V x x x

 

[Drazic<3]

you need to do what is right for you. I wish i had little things of drazics, i threw all the baby clothes away after we lost him, i just couldnt face it.

But let your angel help you in the future as well as remembering the past. If you want to carry on ttc, use the strength from your angel, they would want you to be happy.

x

 

[sunshine83]

I think memory boxes are lovely. A great way to remember your little one, of course you'll never forget but its nice to have physical things to look at and remember the nice times and memories from when your little darling was a part of you x x

 

[angelstardust]

The baby was real and alive and part of your family so if you want a memory box then keep one.

Perhaps what you really need is a month or two off TTC? Use condoms, avoid sex when your ovulating... Have some couple time. I have not had a mc, so I don't know what I'm talking about, but I am pregnant with a very high risk, suprise pregnancy that my first consultant told me to abort. Last pregnancy was very scary (placerntral abruption - baby lived thankfully but has cerbral palsy, mild but still we were not unscathed).

All I can say is that I know fear. I am scared this time, every single day I am scared, but I try to be positive. I will not let fear stop me from enjoying this miracle pregnancy (we came to terms with having no more a few years ago). I knwo that every woman who has had a mc, a loss or just a bad experience in pregnancy is scared when she conceives again, but we can't let it rule our lives.

Best of luck!

 

[born2Bmama]

It is very normal and healthy to keep reminders of your baby and look at them whenever you need to. I have a scrap book for me daughter filled with reminders of my pregancy and pictures of her in the hospital (She was still born at 24 weeks). I am having a special shadow box made to hold her footprints, clothes she wore, etc. that I plan to have displayed in my home for the rest of my life. Having these momentos keeps her memory alive for me but If I didn't have them I certainly would not forget. If I for some reason lost these momentos it would be like looseing her again it certainly wouldn't help me move on faster or easier.

I too would love to have another baby someday. but for now I am just not ready. maybe its fear maybe I just don't feel I've had enough time to grieve. Either way it doesn't matter I feel how I feel and thats ok.

 

[jacky24]

It is not unhealthy at all hun....
I have posted about CJ Memory Box and i still have his room complete... just packed away but from Pram, carry chair, car seat, camping cot, wooden cot, all his cabinets are packed as i packed for him to come home....

I find it healing to also look at some of his things too... A reminder not of the sad but the good it has bought into me and OH lives......

 

[Las78]

I think whatever it takes to help you through the toughest of times like a mc or stillbirth is healthy, everyone needs to do different things. I personally have this strong urge to make a memory box of my son mc at 17wks+5, I haven't started it as yet but I will do it when the time is right, I need a reminder of him by me all the time, something I can pick up and hold and feel a little piece of him close to me again. I also want to get a plain ring with his name engraved on the inside, something that is permanantly with me but just for me and not anyone else to know the reason behind it if that makes sense.

 

[rachel9585]

I lost a lil girl wen she was 3dys old n iv kept every fing 2 do with her. I have birth n death certificates, the hospital bracelets, hr hat n bootys, the dress she wore 2 b blessed, tape measure they measured her with, scan pics, even a patch thing she had round her atrm 2 monitor her heart beat, Iv got hand n foot prints the docs did 4 us after she was gon n got all congratulation n sypathy cards cards n even cards of the flowers at the funeral. I **** get rid ov anything even tho psets me wen i luk at it all. I lost her almost 20 months ago n now have an 8 month old lil girl. U keep any thing u want from ur lil angel n u will have anutha 1 wen ur ready. Big huggs huni. xx xx xx

 

[gnomette]

hay no its not unhealthy at all infact i think it is very healthy i have my babys ashes in my living room right by the tv and she will be in the church with me when i get married so you need to do whats right for you! and you will never for get your little one so and keeping those bits around so you can look and remember is a good thing!
sorry for your loss xx