Middle Name - Relative Dilemma

[bigbloomerz]

I have always said that if i was to have a daughter then somewhere in her name she would have my mums name "Hilary" (she died in 2001), I mentioned this to one of my uncles the other day and he said " I hope you are going to have your mother in laws name in there aswell then"

Without being rude, my mum was a much bigger part of my life than my MIL is and deserves to have a beautiful little girl named after her, as a mark of love and respect.
My MIL pisses me off too much but I dont want to "leave her out" tho and upset her.

Does anyone else feel pressured by family to have certain names as part of their childs name?

I did contemplate putting both of their names together "hilary" and "linda" and using the name "Hilda" but Im really not that keen on that name!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Hmmm, that is a bit of a tough one. At the end of the day she's your little girl and it sounds like your mum was a big part of your life. If your OH is happy for LO to just have Hilary as a middle name then you just do what you think feels right xx

 

[Emma.Gi]

It's up to you what you call your little one, not your uncle or anyone else for that matter apart from you and baby daddy. Harry's middle name is linked to my dad, we didn't have a reason to name our son after my boyfriend's dad because he is a tosser, lol. However if we go on to have a daughter and want to name her after our mothers (we're undecided if it is going to be Maternal Grandma's or mothers) we will probably combine the names linked to our mother's to make Hollybeth or something along those lines.

 

[AP]

Alexs name is link to everyone apart from my MIL, i often wonder if shes pissed off. Alex doesnt have their surname either - the way I see it, if the worst were to happen, then are you really going to be happy that your child had your MILs name?

 

[Serene123]

They have your MIL and FIL's last name

 

[MoonMuffin]

Don't worry about leaving out your MIL in the name. She's still alive, no? Having your mother's name is a tribute to her and a way to honor her memory. Its not your obligation to have MIL's name in there, she's your in-law and to bad for her but its us ladies that cary this child around and go through the pain of having them, then often do most of the work raising them! Thus we will tend to have more say in these types of things. Plus its your child, she had her child and named it!

But yeah I'm feeling the pressure too, DH's dad died last new years eve and now DH's Aunt (who never calls, visits, never sent us a wedding card, never seen Kathryn or said congrats on her birth, never sent her a b-day card, nothing!) is insisting that we honor him by giving him a "B" name (DH's father's name was Basil). Sorry but no, I've never even met the woman, what gives her the idea that she get any say in this childs name. For one I don't like any B names that I've seen, and honestly DH's dad was an A*s and I don't want to name my child after him (he was a drunken pot head with anger issues and always at the strip clubs and blowing all the money! Like I want my child associated with that).

 

[RubyRainbows]

In my opinion you are in no way obligated to name the baby after your MIL. You are naming her in honor of your mom who has passed. I'm sure your MIL wont mind and if she does... too bad. Besides, like someone else mentioned... the baby already has your MIL's last name, so that is tribute enough!

 

[MUMOF5]

In my opinion you are in no way obligated to name the baby after your MIL. You are naming her in honor of your mom who has passed. I'm sure your MIL wont mind and if she does... too bad. Besides, like someone else mentioned... the baby already has your MIL's last name, so that is tribute enough!

I agree . Its a way of having your mum in your babys life - a priveledge that your mother in law will still get to have. xx

 

[Bingo]

This is your baby and you should name her exactly what you want to name her. Stuff your uncle and your MIL! Sorry, but things like this make me so mad. No one has the right to push you into using your MIL's name on your baby. This was your mother and the woman who obviously meant the world to you and that is why you want to carry on her name in the name of your own daughter.

 

[bigbloomerz]

They have your MIL and FIL's last name

Lol good point Tor x

 

[bigbloomerz]

Thanks Ladies, made me feel bit better about it now! You are right the baby will have their last name, so i shouldnt feel bad about not including their names in it aswell. I'm not a major fan of the name Hilary, but its my Mum and she was everything to me, not a day goes by where i dont think of her and i want her to be a part of my babys life in anyway possible.

People are always going to have their opinions, and they are entitled to them, but doesnt mean i have to do them lol. xx

 

[Lovemyboy]

I'd just have your mum's name tbh x