Mindfulness....

[Lovn.sunshine]

For a long time I've had trouble with over reacting, over thinking, and over analyzing. I've dealt with anger, pessimism, self-doubt and depression over the years. I've started therapy very recently to address that and past trauma that I've never fully dealt with. I feel like, now that I have a child, all the things I didn't deal with before are coming back to haunt me. I have bad/anxiety filled dreams EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. And I get worked up easily. I also take things personal [at work and out in the general public]. I have always had anxiety/anger. Sometimes [esp lately] it's gotten worse. I fear the future, that I may mess up my daughter if I don't do everything right. I tend to hold on to things for too long, and I jump to conclusion too easily.

I want to be a healthier, calmer, more peaceful person for myself, my daughter and those I love.

Sooo I'm now working on Mindfulness in Daily Practice and was wondering if anyone else is doing the same/thinking about doing it or already put it to work for your life?

I'd love some friends/support/to be able to support others along this journey!


[Please feel free to share your own info/links/books, too!]

Mindfulness in Daily Practice

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for changing habitual emotional reactions that hijack our ability to think clearly, act skillfully and live meaningfully. Like many other healthy habits, mindfulness becomes stronger and more effective as we repeatedly apply it to our lives. To increase your mindfulness skills, each time you encounter a negative emotion that threatens to dominate your awareness [for example - irritation, impatience, anxiety, anger, etc.] practice applying the four step model:

STOP

- Bring awareness to the negative emotion as soon as possible
-Begin to recognize the early warning signals of the emotional reaction
-Remind yourself: "I need to pay attention to this - NOW"

BREATHE

-Become sensitive to the natural softening quality of breath
-Use the power of body-mind communication: send a mental message to release and let go
-Relaxing into the exhale, allow the negative emotion soften [slowly breathe in through the nose, counting to four. Hold the breath to the count of four, breathe out through the mouth counting to four, hold to the count of four and repeat]

REFLECT

-Appraise the situation. What is my old pattern here?
-Is my reaction supported by old myths or messages?
-What part of my reaction is flowing in from past experiences?
-What resources and options do I have right here in the present moment?
-Can I change my mind about how I see myself in this situation?
-What is my best insight about this situation? What do I want to remember?

CHOOSE

-Having become more aware of my reaction, settled myself a bit and tappen into my insight, what is possible here?
-What is effective or skillful? Can I shift my old pattern and make a creative choice?
-What is my best choice under all circumstances?​

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

A good resource, also, is from Dr. Daniel Siegel. drdansiegel.com

He talks about the Wheel of Awarness and the senses [among other things].

"Mental activity is NOT the totality of who we are."

 

[Marie000]

I have started reading The Mindful Way Through Depression. It's a great read! Makes a lot of sense and I know that it would work. But mindfulness is a difficult habit to acquire. I have done mindfulness meditation in the past and it has helped a lot with my anxiety and it has helped me through difficult situations. It has also been difficult at times... being mindful forces you to face things as they are, to let go of the thought patterns that have become a coping mechanism.

At the same time, mindfulness is so simple.
It's hard to explain really. I think it's an easy thing to do, but for me it is very difficult to push myself to do it, even if it's simple and would help me a lot. I have become really set in my ways.

I think I was all over the place. It's been a long day... maybe I can explain it better another time.

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

Honestly, that totally made sense. It does seem like such a simple concept. But in just the few days that I've been putting it to use [or well trying to at least] it's been tough. Like you said, I'm set in my ways and this will force me to think/react differently than what I'm used to.
I'm hopeful though, that will a LOT of practice, and mistakes, I'm sure, that it will become easier, like second nature.

Thank you for responding, btw. I will definitely check out that book!

 

[calm]

Mindfulness has been a key aspect of my life. Its the only reason why I am pregnant, as I had such crippling anxiety I couldn't really try to get pregnant (or have all the treatment I had after) without doing something about it. I did mindfulness together with ACT therapy, but later are turned a lot to Buddhism. I'm now part of a sangha, but I must admit, my practice has been very absent lately. I am going to get down for it as I have about 6 to 7 weeks left of pregnancy and want to try and do an 8 week course to get properly back into it. I met Marie (the poster above) talking about mindfulness on here. I also have a blog which registered my progress from nearly housebound agoraphobic to traveller. Its hardly updated now, though I do plan to once I have my twins. If you want a look here is a link:

Edit: Sorry got the link wrong

https://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com.es/

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

Thank you for responding. I'm so glad that mindfulness and ACT really helped with your anxiety. That gives me hope! It really is so amazing how far you've come! And I can't believe that you'll have your baby boys here in 6 or 7 weeks

I will definitely take a peek at your blog.

 

[MommyFirefly]

I feel like I could have written your intro myself. I have never considered practicing mindfulness, but I'm thinking it could really help until I get insurance and am able to seek a therapist myself. It'd help beyond that too, of course. Probably even better as a combination than alone. I'll be checking out all the reading material suggested by everyone else.

 

[calm]

I feel like I could have written your intro myself. I have never considered practicing mindfulness, but I'm thinking it could really help until I get insurance and am able to seek a therapist myself. It'd help beyond that too, of course. Probably even better as a combination than alone. I'll be checking out all the reading material suggested by everyone else.

I'm not saying its the way to go or not, but I must state that it can be done alone as that is how I did it. I had such severe disappointment in therapists, and none nearby did Act or mindfulness, that I just did it with books and manuals and some online help from fellow sufferers. Again, I'm not saying to anyone not to get professional help, but I do know for sure its possible to do it alone X

 

[yellowglow]

I don’t practice mindfulness in the style you guys specifically write about, but I credit my health to a practice of meditation. Its sounds strange, but when I meditate it’s as if I am programming my mind to function correctly. It would almost be the opposite of mindfulness I suppose because I tune out all emotional stimuli and breathe through whatever thought I began to have. When I do that I am better able to put things in perspective, and over time my mindset is more peaceful.

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

I don’t practice mindfulness in the style you guys specifically write about, but I credit my health to a practice of meditation. Its sounds strange, but when I meditate it’s as if I am programming my mind to function correctly. It would almost be the opposite of mindfulness I suppose because I tune out all emotional stimuli and breathe through whatever thought I began to have. When I do that I am better able to put things in perspective, and over time my mindset is more peaceful.

I think that's a great way to get through stressors. Breathing through it and then coming back to the stressor later to think it through once you've been able to calm, and process with a better perspective is great!! I tried meditation when I was younger, when the first major trauma happened to me but I struggle with ADD and it's insanely hard for me to shut my brain off and focus. It did help a little but it was hard for me to maintain. Good for you for finding the thing that works for you!

 

[yellowglow]

Thank you! It is definitely hard for me to maintain. I needed a meditation DVD and a routine, otherwise I get out of the habit. I have found that I am a very organized person. The more clutter in my life, the less I am able to focus on what is really important. So I over structured my meditation =P. Put it on my to –do list that I always have going on in my head. That was a lot easier than trying to understand a different way of thinking- such as mindfulness (which I still do not quite understand). I have been in therapy for anxiety, and they introduced the concept to me. However, it took me over 10 years of yoga to really understand how to meditate- and even with that- I still struggle with making it a lifestyle.

 

[calm]

Thank you! It is definitely hard for me to maintain. I needed a meditation DVD and a routine, otherwise I get out of the habit. I have found that I am a very organized person. The more clutter in my life, the less I am able to focus on what is really important. So I over structured my meditation =P. Put it on my to –do list that I always have going on in my head. That was a lot easier than trying to understand a different way of thinking- such as mindfulness (which I still do not quite understand). I have been in therapy for anxiety, and they introduced the concept to me. However, it took me over 10 years of yoga to really understand how to meditate- and even with that- I still struggle with making it a lifestyle.

I did meditation in the past before knowing mindfulness, it used crystals as a focus for the mind.

What is mindful meditation? Its quite "simple" but not easy to do, especially at first. Its basically about observation, you focus on your breathing and watch the thoughts without getting lost in them. When you do get lost (which you do again and again) you pull back to the breathing. If you feel anxiety for example, you observe the feelings and the thoughts attached to these feelings. You see you are not those feelings and thoughts, they are just passing "guests" (however "horrible"and unwelcome we judge them). Its like riding a wave (there are actually mindful activities for anxiety that use the concept of waves). You can also be mindful of sounds, or body sensations, there are many different exercises. But it is about turning towards instead of "escaping" "distracting" or "avoiding". its about opening, and compassion towards this pain and suffering. So really its about what most of us don't do as a norm (we tend to close, avoid, distract what pains us). In the opening comes the healing, we usually find that our anxiety is like a child in pain demanding our compassion and attention and having a tantrum. I've healed parts, and not others, it can be very hard and easy to get distracted away from healing and meditation, everyday habit and suffering can often seem preferable, we are creatures of habit! XXXX

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

That was a great explanation, calm!

So far, it's really helped. Any time I start to get "lost" and close down to whatever I'm getting angry or anxious about, I've been able to bring myself back down, and focus on breathing. Then once the rush of the negaitve emotion passes I'm able to process why I felt it, what I can do to handle the situation without rushing and accepting the outcome. Not exactly "mindfulness" to a T but it's still a new concept for me

 

[calm]

Lovnshine, I don't think many of us do mindfulness perfectly, with practice we get better, and meantime there are so many benefits anyway, it sounds good to me what you are doing.

Just though I would share some free links to exercises on mindfulness. Enjoy X


https://www.portlandpsychotherapyclinic.com/mindfulness_and_acceptance_exercises

https://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com/exercises/

https://www.umsystem.edu/curators/mindfulness/guided