Miss my toddler :( & mastisis question.

[BethHx]

We're 9 days in and going well - apart from the mastisis I have which I am on anti biotics for - any idea how long it takes for them to kick in?

I am really enjoying bf, but really miss my toddler. I have literally spent no time with her since Eliza was born. We've done all the tricks, she has a special toy box for when feeding etc.
She's ao well behaved, not jealous at all and really understanding but I feel so guilty as she's getting no mommy time.
It's enough to make me consider formula seeing her want my attention but I don't want to stop bf :/
Anyone else been in same position x

 

[Maxy1]

AB's should start making you feel better 24 - 48 hours and probably another 3 - 5 days for the lump to clear totally. But you will feel better during that period.

I missed all the cuddle time with DS when I first came home with DD and was Bfing. I don't think formula is any faster or easier when it comes to trying to spend time with your toddler unless you have another person to do them.

Personally I am just too lazy to do all the stuff associated with making formula and bottles. I love that when DD is hungry its all just ready to go

The feeds do get shorter and space out very quickly. Its just for the short term and very soon you will be able to put LO down and spend time with your toddler again.

 

[BadassMom]

I know exactly what you mean! I miss the one on one time with my son so much! No advice really because I'm in the same situation as you. I try to do his bath or bedtime when OH gets home but its not always possible. OH has taken over a lot of things I used to do and I feel so guilty! Even though DS loves his daddy. I know this stage will pass and it's whats best for now. Hang in there!

 

[BigAl]

I know what you mean, I felt so bad for my toddler. But the thought that bottles would take longer once bf has settled, is keeping me going. Also it means we can leave the house quicker, with no bottles to think about. Plus I feel bad for my baby (Eliza too!), she has to cry on her own for longer than DS ever had too. Bf allows me to give her skin to skin, and I absolutely love the cuddles in the night.

 

[wifey29]

I had mastitis several times with my first, it usually took 24 hours or so to feel better, then I improved very quickly after that.

I found it really hard missing DS1 while feeding and looking after DS2. He felt it too, while he was amazing with his brother, he was a little distant with me for a few weeks, but got used to things quite quickly. Now that we're four months in things seem to have gone back to normal, or at least we have found a new normal. DS2 is quite predictable now and luckily naps really well, so DS1 and I get a few hours just the two of us during the day. I try to make sure that we always do some sort of one on one activity like painting, playing in the garden or whatever he wants to do, at least once a day, where I focus completely on him. I get my housework done after breakfast usually, DS2 tends to take a short nap, so I put him in the mei tai and set DS1 up with his toys or at times cbeebies, then whip round. That way I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day and can focus on the boys.

Don't worry, things were crazy for a while, but they soon settle down and soon you won't be able to remember any different. It feels like DS2 has been with us forever!

 

[MommyJogger]

You're not alone. I miss my toddler, too. I've read a lot of honest blogs about feelings of resentment toward the older child for needing attention during the newborn phase, but I've never found anything that talks about feelings of regret or resentment around the newborn. But it happens, because I'm living proof. Sometimes I feel so much regret around having my second. When I'm overwhelmed, I really sometimes just wish he would go away so I could go to the park and run around properly with DS1 like I haven't been able to because of the pregnancy/recovery and now because there's a newborn to constantly attend to. I miss how our relationship used to be, but I know that formula isn't going to fix it (and we tandem nurse, so it's not like my older one isn't involved during nursing sessions. I think some women are just going to feel like their older kids are being neglected regardless). Young babies still deserve their mommies, whether they're ff or bf. I've got my fingernails firmly dug into the idea that things will change again for the better as DS2 gets more physically capable-- by shortening feeds, interacting more with DS1, wanting a little more independence so I have more time for DS1, and by at least becoming capable of being entertained by the same activities (watching us build towers or string trains together) as DS1 enjoys.
It'll all be worth it when our kids are cracking each other up or learning how to cooperate to gang up on us. It's a too-many-kids-and-too-few-hands problem, not really a bf problem.

 

[purplecupcake]

My mom has pictures of my sister "breastfeeding" her Cabbage Patch Kid doll as my mom nursed me. Could you do something like that? Or read her a story while you nurse?