mixed feelings about my c-section

[first time x]

I had a planned c section on 22nd may and had my beautiful twin boys Isaac and Tommy. As far as i know all went well with the operation and there were no complications. My recovery hasn't been too bad although i had pain around my ribs and back so had to have a CBTA scan to rule out a pulmonary embolism which came back clear thank god, some pain killers and antibiotics seem to have sorted it out and now its just a bit of back ache. I've been on and off emotional about having a c section because i felt so detached from it all like i didn't have control over what was going on. The most important thing was that my boys got here safe and sound and are doing well which i'm very grateful for. I think i was just so scared of having an operation that its made it seem like a bad experience. Anyway... was just starting to feel myself again the other day when i collapsed and was taken to hospital due to low blood pressure. The doctor said everything else was fine and that it would just take time for my blood pressure to get back to normal after the operation and just to take it easy. I just feel like my life is being controlled by the operation and i just want to be able to take care of my boys independantly without worrying im over doing things. Im now also terrified of getting pregnant again because of the complications that can occur in pregnancy and child birth and im scared something might happen to me and i need to be healthy for my boys. i was quite fit and healthy pre pregnancy and through my pregnancy was still doing well so technically im not classed as high risk of complications but i cant shake this fear. Im obviously not planning any other children at the time anyway but i feel like it might affect my sex life because im so scared of getting pregnant to the point that i dont trust alot of the birth control methods. Just wanted to share how i was feeling really and get some opinions/advice or experiences from mums who have felt the same?

 

[LDC]

Sorry to hear about all of that, I can't say I've been through the same, but just wanted to give you some hugs!

Try not to let it ruin your sex life, and if you're taking precautions then there should be minimal risk of pregnancy. I have some back pain at night since my section, and at times it can be quite painful. It is a big operation to have and it will take time to heal - I had problems "dealing" I guess with not having had a natural birth but as you say our babies got here safe and sound and that's all we can hope for.

I hope you're feeling better soon, just try and take it easy and enjoy your gorgeous boys xxx