Mum's of 1 or more ...what will you do differently this time?

[angelbump]

While waiting to try I've been thinking of things id do different second time round.
Like i always wanted to carry my boy in a sling or baby carrier but left it too late and he hated it. I'd like to give cloth nappies a try next time and would love to breastfeed longer (managed 4 weeks with my boy)
What would you ladies do differently this time?

 

[sarah34]

I would like to breastfeed longer too, I only managed a week or so with my little one but I think if I'd have used cream earlier and got a bit more help with latching we could have done longer.

I also would try babywearing sometimes, purely because I will have my hands full with a toddler and baby!!

I also will probably put baby in their own room a month or so earlier, my son was around 4.5 months old but looking back we all slept so much better when we moved him. ( I know this isn't for everyone!)

I think it really depends though as every baby is different and don't like to adhere to best made plans!!

 

[cupcake.]

Definitely next time i will make sure that the baby gets checked for lip or tongue tie immediately! My baby girl has lip tie which was the reason she couldn't latch, which led to too much weight loss and her having to be readmitted to the children's hospital and meant I couldn't breastfeed and when she was about 3 weeks old she started being very colicky and thus I had to stop pumping. So definitely making sure we get the best possible start to breastfeeding, which also means I if labour&delivery is without any complications and as straight forward as with my DD, i will not stay in the hospital but go home after the birth.

I will get a different midwive because the one I had with my daughter was just not very helpful at all and actually called off lots of appointments and she too did not think to check for lip tie when I showed her that my daughter wasn't latching..

I want to have a water birth next time. I did put it in my birthing plan with the hospital i delivered at but they didn't stick to it and I didn't reinforce it.

And also I spent all pregnancy being a bit afraid of having a big baby - don't know why, just was. And towards the end I (as every other pregnant woman) got very impatient and did a lot of things to get labor going (bouncing, unnecessarily going up and down stairs, deep squats etc). Well my Baby was 12 days early, which isn't a lot but with just barely over 6lbs could have used those days well. It meant she was a bit weak and couldn't really afford any weight loss.
So next time i hope i make it the full 40 weeks and have a bigger baby.

Pretty much the things i want to do differently is all of what probably contributed to us not being able to breastfeed. It's all still very far away though as we will probably aim for about 3-4 year age difference

 

[MindUtopia]

I would be more confident that I really did know what I was doing and trust my gut. We parent in a way that is pretty much contrary to what everyone seems to think makes for an 'easy' baby. We bedshared, she never slept in a cot for naps at all (always in a wrap or in our arms or in a pushchair when she was older and we were out), we fed to sleep, never left her to cry, etc., etc. Though I truly felt it was the easiest and best way and it worked well for us, I always wondered if one day it would all come crashing down and we'd realise we somehow did something 'wrong' and made life really hard for all of us. Nope, never happened. She's confident and still easy going and outgoing. She sleeps great. We bedshared until she was 3.5 (and got plenty of sleep in the process) and then one day she announced she'd sleep in her own room and just started doing it. She's really lovely to be around and very kind. We must have done something right, even when so many people had all sorts of horror stories about the trouble we were setting ourselves up for. I'd do it all exactly the same next time, but I would be much more confident in listening to my own intuition now that I know how things are when you finally come out the other side. I also hope I relax and enjoy it all more. With your first, you don't know what you're doing, so sometimes it's hard to just sit down and enjoy the process. But this next baby will be our last, so I hope I can appreciate it all more.

 

[Wnt2beAMom]

Exactly mindUtopia!
The first few months up to about 18 months old I always had a huge list of things I'd do different with a 2nd baby. Usually, more "Western society" ways. Because all I heard was how we were making life harder on ourselves by cosleeping, ect..We really started cosleeping for our own sanity and I thought we must have done something wrong. Now, I just regret being so anxious/nervous about everything I was doing. I hope I can relax more with #2 and just listen to babies needs. My 2 year old is in his own bed now and we occasionally still cosleeping but he's shown us he sleeps better on his own now. It was much nicer waiting till he could understand we weren't abandoning him through CIO as an infant.
A couple things I might do differently though is take better care of babies teeth. My son had cavities after a year old and had to have a bunch filled and one removed at 2 years old. I also had a strong letdown with DS but was so worried about low supply that I didn't want to waste a drop. Even when I'd read to have your letdown in a cloth or bottle (he wouldn't take bottles) then latch baby. This caused him so much gas and he only nursed like 10 minutes. No comfort sucking and wouldn't take a soother. So, I want to watch my supply more closely with #2.
I'd overall hope to be less stressed in pregnancy too. The job I had before DS was so stressful. Now, I just work parttime and look after DS.

 

[BeesBella]

I would like to be more active while pregnant (which I don't think I'd get much say in with a toddler to keep up with).
I would not take antacids for heartburn as last time they stopped me absorbing iron which meant I was anaemic and that stopped me having a home birth. I would also like a home birth.
I would like to express milk for #2 so DH can feed the baby.
And I would use cloth nappies from the start (DS was about 4 months when I started).

 

[loeylo]

I'll have a planned section. I was induced for medical reasons last time and had a really fast, intense labour interns of contractions, but I wasn't dilating and baby wasn't really dropping (I was having 7 "strong" contractions in a 10 minute period, each lasting between 30 seconds and 2 minutes, yet I wasn't even 4cm dilated, my contractions started within 30 minutes of having the pessaey and nobody believed me) - I ended up having every pain relief known to man, I was on medication to stop the labour, anti sickness meds (apparently a heavy duty one) - I was out my face for maybe 16 hours so by the time I had a c-section I was too tired/drugged to really know what was going on. I want a gentle c-section too, to give it a more natural feel.

I'd push for a far shorter hospital stay. My own hospital advocates for this and aim to have you home in 24 h should you want. I left after 2 days because the claustrophobia and constant noise was driving me crazy.

I'd trust my instincts more.

 

[amotherslove]

-i will be eating healthier to avoid GD which was frustrating last time
-i hope to not have to be induced AND i may allow an epidural this time because last time was so horrible...
-i will not be cosleeping this time for multiple reasons, and it makes me very nervous because i loved having my baby close by and i dont really know how to get a baby to sleep in a crib. it'll almost be like being a first timer again haha
- i will have a PARTNER!!!! last time i was a single mom (by choice, she was donor conceived...) but this time i am engaged

 

[Stormynights]

I was 19 when I gave birth to DD. I'm a bit older now... and I'd do tons of things differently.

I'd definitely try to breast feed longer.

I'd be more adamant about not being induced. DD had lung problems, and eventually had surgery at 2 months and I think it could have been prevented by cooking her a bit longer.

I'd do more baby wearing!

It'd also be almost like being a FTM again... sure we have our daughter now, but we lived with family until she was 16 months or so... so it'd definitely be a different experience.

 

[amotherslove]

I was 19 when I gave birth to DD. I'm a bit older now... and I'd do tons of things differently.

I'd definitely try to breast feed longer.

I'd be more adamant about not being induced. DD had lung problems, and eventually had surgery at 2 months and I think it could have been prevented by cooking her a bit longer.

I'd do more baby wearing!

It'd also be almost like being a FTM again... sure we have our daughter now, but we lived with family until she was 16 months or so... so it'd definitely be a different experience.

are you actively TTC now? that'll be so exciting!

 

[lou belle]

I'd like to be more patient, I went 7 days over due with DD and from 37 weeks I got obsessed with getting myself into labour. I wouldn't get my waters broken like I did last time. I was in slow labour for nearly 24 hours, went to hospital where they offered to break my waters. I was just really tired so I went for it to bring on active labour. My labour actually stalled and they had to put me on oxytocin to increase the pains. Didn't progress well at all as baby was not coping well with the oxytocin! I was sorry I hadn't just stayed at home and tried to sleep!!

I would also try to breastfeed for longer and just try to be more relaxed and confident so I could enjoy the baby more!

 

[angelbump]

I would be more confident that I really did know what I was doing and trust my gut. We parent in a way that is pretty much contrary to what everyone seems to think makes for an 'easy' baby. We bedshared, she never slept in a cot for naps at all (always in a wrap or in our arms or in a pushchair when she was older and we were out), we fed to sleep, never left her to cry, etc., etc. Though I truly felt it was the easiest and best way and it worked well for us, I always wondered if one day it would all come crashing down and we'd realise we somehow did something 'wrong' and made life really hard for all of us. Nope, never happened. She's confident and still easy going and outgoing. She sleeps great. We bedshared until she was 3.5 (and got plenty of sleep in the process) and then one day she announced she'd sleep in her own room and just started doing it. She's really lovely to be around and very kind. We must have done something right, even when so many people had all sorts of horror stories about the trouble we were setting ourselves up for. I'd do it all exactly the same next time, but I would be much more confident in listening to my own intuition now that I know how things are when you finally come out the other side. I also hope I relax and enjoy it all more. With your first, you don't know what you're doing, so sometimes it's hard to just sit down and enjoy the process. But this next baby will be our last, so I hope I can appreciate it all more.

Thats so lovely! Everyone has a horror story to tell so well done for carrying on doing what you were doing. I would like to chill out more 2nd time round too, i eas diagnosed with ocd and anxiety after having my first but due to therapy and meds i feel alot more in control of my mind and a stronger person for it. Wiahing you well in trying for no2 xx