my 10 yr old daughter wants independance

[whatwillbe]

Yesterday after i got my kids from school, two of my10 year old daughters friends from her class knocked the door for her to play out, i was suprised as they dont live in our street and they were alone, but also happy as she never plays out like other kids her age, shes always inside watching tv or playing games on her laltop ect, she's older than her years.

Today after school she starts moaning at me saying i never let her go anywhere on her own, that she wants independence ! And that ive got to let her go places on her own, otherwise how do iexpect her to go to secondary school alone next september? Also when i walk her to school now, she doesntwant me to wait with her by her class room, as none of her friends parents do.

I was just wandering does any one think 10 year olds should be alowed to for example go to the local shop alone? She has never been any where without me or her dad or another adult, and i never thought the day would come! , now shes wanting to and the thought scares me ! I dont know how i will cope once shes in big school and has to get there and back on her own, i will be so worried every day

 

[juliep]

I was just wandering does any one think 10 year olds should be alowed to for example go to the local shop alone?

Yes!!!

My seven year old goes to the local shops on her own.

 

[whatwillbe]

Thanks julie, maybe i'll start letting her go sometimes, so worrying lol x

 

[juliep]

Thanks julie, maybe i'll start letting her go sometimes, so worrying lol x

I know but being stuck in front of TV all the time is not good for her.

Get her a mobile phone, rule number one always have it with you, rule no 2 never switch it off, Rule no 3 phone home if delayed, or you come across anything your not sure about

Realty check nothing is likely to happen to her.

My daughter will come home from school kick off her shoes and be off out to play with the neighbours on the common in front of the house, or run to the shops for me, or to one of a couple of her friends houses.

If you get her a smart phone, my DD has a Samsung Ace, you can even track her on line, but I never do that.

 

[smelly07]

My daughter has been playing outside since she was 6 and her boundaries were widened at age 7 ........i got the impression of my brothers partner my SIL that she was quite shocked by this as she was asking me all these questions but i encourage independence i think it is SO important that children are given independence to grow up and learn things for themselves - i dont think children/teenagers should be taken every where in the car and picked up and watched constantly or made to stay indoors........ i do not think this helps them in the big wide world at all.............my daughter isnt allowed to the shops yet but only because there is quite a dangerous little road where cars come from 3 different turnings so this is a no atm ................she will be walking to secondary school at age 11 so each year from now i will widen her boundaries a little more.....getting buses and trains will also be encouraged as i think its vital children know how to get around if they need to alone/with friends without using parents as a taxi service x


i'm very independant and quite happily can get buses, trains, underground , walk and travel places without relying on a car or lift etc and as a child i had no choice but to get places myself anyway and had so much freedom and it made very streetwise and confident.

 

[marie22]

i guess it also depends on the area in which you live

 

[whatwillbe]

I agree she needs more independance, and im always encouraging her to go out to play but she just has never seemed interested in playing out, i think its maybe because theres no girls her age in our street, my younger boys are out all the time, but i will start encouraging her more, eg to go to the shops, or somewhere alone, as when she starts big school she will have to catch a bus alone, she has a mobile too, thanks, i will make sure she has it with her when shes not with me, i gues my little girl is growing up! X

 

[suzib76]

I don't think it's independence she is looking for but maybe just a little freedom?

My eldest is 11 and has been allowed out since 6/7 and boundaries widened according to her abilities. She is now a very capable young girl, we live in a small town and her and her freinds go along to the shops which is around a mile away and have lunch in one of the cafes on a Saturday, next stage is allowing her to travel to Dundee on her own, which I am more than happy for her to do with friends, but none of her friends are allowed just yet, as soon as they are I am ok for her to go. She is financially independent in that she has her allowance every week and buys her own clothes etc from it, I only pay for school clothes etc, she uses her debit card more than I use mine now!

I think maybe offering a little freedom and seeing how your daughter gets on is probably a good idea now she is 10. When I was 10 my freinds and I were always out exploring the wee town we lived in, down at the park, the beach, the shops etc etc

I haven't collected Leah from school since she was about 7, although she will often jump in the car in the winter as we have to collect jack because he is autistic so am always at the school anyway, or dh is if I'm at work

Jack is 9 and he is the only kid in his year that gets collected by a parent, aside from one other who lives outwits the town