my 5 year old is a bully

[kaytee 123]

my son at the minute is a terror, he thinks he can bully his way through every thing and speak to me his dad and his nan like crap or get in are faces and I've just had enough of him big time :/
he's horrid when he come in from school goes to school oh wakes up in the morning if he wants something if he wants his own way to be honest with every thing and i really don't want the girls to copy him, i was brought up with respect for adults and I've tout my kids from day one to have respect for adults but he just doesn't seems to have any respect fro any one and im so a shamed some time

 

[JASMAK]

First of all....he may be a 'bully' to you, but speak to his teacher...he may not be a 'bully' there. My son can be the same. So, what do you do about it? Do you make he ask for things nicely? Do you say no and leave it at no? What are his consequences. Do you give him respect (teach respect)? You don't have to answer me, but I had to take a very hard look at how I was parenting and make some changes. My advice too...avoid the labels. If he is a 'bully' then why would he try to be anything different? Give him some responsibilities. Tell him you want him to teach the girls how to speak nicely. Put him in a club where he feels proud and learns respect. Talk about he is a big boy, but can only do (something big he wants to do) if he acts like a big boy. Also...make sure he sees you and your hubby treating each other, and other people respectfully. Hope that helps!

 

[kaytee 123]

i totally understand what your saying to me, I've always shown respect as that is how i was brought up, it just seems if its not his way or his rules then there's no way .
i stand by my words so if i say no, i mean no. i treat them when needed and we all have lil jobs todo.
me my mother and his dad also have like a sticker chart type of thing going on and some times he's fazed and sometimes he's not.
so say ill ask him to do a job, ill say :- Ian will you do such a such a thing for me please
Ian :- blanked, so ill ask again and he will blank me again, so ill ask him again and tell him this time, its not nice to be ignored and if he does what every I've asked then ill suggest like a sticker or something fun todo or say a really good praise not all just one.
then Ian will either say i don't want to I've already got stickers or im doing the fun thing anyway or i don't care.
any ways what im trying to say is i watched the nanny 911 or help the parents I've tried a lot of things. i just don't under stand why he's being such an angry head or what he speaks to people like their nothing its just not me he's like this with its anyone he wants, I've tried talking to him but he wont open up to me at all I've even tried spending just time with him and letting him choose were we go obvs there's a limit.
the only things that have changed is his dad loosing his job and obvs the baby is due in 6 days i think that's it that's changes nothing else but none of are moods have changed in any dramatic way i just don't no

 

[JASMAK]

Hmmmm....this example doesnt seem too bad.... Perhaps he needs something more than a sticker to be motivated!

What is your son doing when he is not listening? Watching tv? Or another activity? What if you took it away, or better yet....put a positive spin on it....you can play xbox (or whatever activity he enjoys) after you have picked up your toys. My son is allowed to play 20 minutes xbox if he does him homework without incident. But, if he doesnt do his homework, then he doesnt get the xbox (and a bad mark).

It sounds like your son may need more motivation. Also, can I ask why you ask him more than once? What if you told him that if he doesnt answer you on the first request, he will get a time out for disrespect?

I found five to be a tough age, so hang in there. Its hard being pregnant too!

 

[aimee-lou]

i agree with jasmak. to me you're giving him too many chances then trying to tempt him with something he's not interested in. my 4yo can be like this sometimes but it's always the same consistent reward/consequence. i ask once nicely then i ask again and demand a response. if he does it he'll get to continue playing, a gold star, tv time or a small sweets or chocolate bar if he does it straight away. no response and he gets a warning and if get refuses he'll get a time out ire a privilege removed same as the above list.

one thing i do is i ask him to help me with things that his younger brothers can't do like vacuum, baking or putting away clothes. he enjoys helping and it's good for him. we also do gymnastics once a week and he is so proud

hope things improve hun x

 

[kaytee 123]

tbh i probably do give him more chances then i should, the reason for this is if i do give him a warning he can lash out throw things or hit me i don't want to chance it as he's hurt me in the past but i will try again soon as baby is born. this way i now he cant really do any harm. thank you and im going to have another think and change a few things see if it is his motivation and ill speak to his dad about the ps3 see if he will agree to it

 

[JASMAK]

See at 5, hitting or lashing out...instant time out, whole world come crashing down consequence at our house....def no warnings. Nip it in the bud now. It will be harder with a new baby!

 

[Noo]

Ask once in my house then consequences. Violence = instant severe consequences. It will not be tolerated.