My father... tells me I'm hurting the baby by working too much

[1Atalanta]

I've still been working a lot, and I was talking to my parents on the phone.

My Dad says "If you work too much and something ends up wrong with the baby, that will be a lifetime or responsibility on your shoulders"


Of course I got off the phone immediately and cried hysterically and angrily.

First, its not like I've been digging trenches, I'm teaching at a school. Its tiring but I'm just walking and sitting.

Second, how would my staying active possibly hurt the baby at this point? I've been very healthy and conscious during this pregnancy, and being told that I've hurt the baby by my actions is so upsetting.

Ugh.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

My mother served in the Navy while pregnant with my sister and me. We turned out just fine. Hubby's mother served in the Marines while carrying him. I'm still working like normal at 38 weeks without a problem. Just listen to your body; if it tells you to slow down then take a break, otherwise you should be fine. It's probably healthier to stay active (I know my nurse is always on me to walk and move around more!)

 

[BabyB2]

Pay no attention! If you are still feeling fit and well and able to manage then I'm sure you and baby will be fine! I'm still at work too and people keep talking to me like I'm crazy, but I'm generally feeling well. I haven't had anyone tell me that I'm potentially harming my baby, but if they did I would tell them in no uncertain terms where to stick their opinions!! Only you can properly know what is right for YOUR body! My midwife told me that if anything, a good balance of sitting and standing is better for me than just sitting on my backside all day!

 

[BabyB2]

Just noticed we have the same due date!

 

[AllieM]

That is an idiotic statement from someone who has never been pregnant before! Just ignore him....he doesn't know any better.

 

[tag74]

You must be Italian!

Everything will be fine. Over protective father who loves you both.

 

[MomPepperdine]

I love when males put in their words like that!

 

[Equreuil]

He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. Activity, especially light activity like you described, is actually a good thing and healthy for both you and baby.

My MW recently told me to increase my activity a bit, as I have a job that's mostly sitting at a desk that doesn't allow for a lot of at-work exercise.

Ignore him.

 

[mac1979]

He comes from a different generation during which women weren't supposed to do anything while pregnant. My mom told me my dad got upset when she swept or reached for something over her head. I would just chalk it up to him wanting what is best for you and thinking in the old fashioned way.

 

[Kaleido]

Tell him how proud you are that he managed to get his medical degree since he clearly knows more than your dr who is obviously fine with you working! And then ignore him lol. Seriously tho, don't let it bother you, people give advice all the time and have no idea what they are talking about.. And im sure in his own muddled man way he was just saying he worries about u and wants to make sure you arent straining yourself. My dr is fine with me working right til the end, and I own a dog grooming business where I work alone and spend my days on my feet, lifting , bending , the works! Us women are stronger than men give us credit for lol

 

[xforuiholdonx]

youve.not hurt the baby.by working! Id be upset too!

 

[babicyntaf]

Don't pay any attention to him - he's probably just working on an old fashioned ideal!! From everything I've read and all the stories I've heard you're far better off being active and not finishing too early.

I worked in school until I was 37 weeks pregnant and felt great. Since I've been off on mat leave my feet have started swelling cos I'm not so active! A friend worked right up to 38 weeks and said it wsa her best pregnancy ever (of 3). You'll know when you need to slow up and take it easy and you'll do what's right. Your body, your baby, your choices - don't worry!!!

 

[Dani_Ldn]

Only you know your own body, if you are comfortable to continue working, then do so!

Sorry that your father is speaking to you like this & upsetting you, he is probably just trying to be protective of you & baby in his own way.

 

[DLA]

LOL working is fine! I worked FT over 40 hours per week till my due date and my son was absolutely perfect! It's freakin hard and exhausting but you know your body and limitations!

 

[MrsWhy]

Some parents are just like that - my mother is constantly on at me to not do things however I just ignore her. I think your dad is just trying in his own (possibly insensitive) way that he wants you to take it easier - it could have been phrased better though but sometimes people don't think before they speak.

I worked till 38 weeks last time with my son and was bored waiting for him to turn up (he ended up being 5 days late even after being admitted to hospital and being induced). This pregnancy I will be working full time until my due date so I can spend more time with them after they are born.

As others have said, you know how you're feeling and whether you are up to carrying on - please try not to get upset. Just wanted to sent you a

 

[1Atalanta]

Just noticed we have the same due date!

Wow, you are right! May 25th is coming up so soon!

Thanks so much for all the love ladies! I know I've been doing my best to grow a healthy baby, it just helps to hear it from someone other than my husband.

Much love and good wishes to all of you!

 

[fionar]

Oh good grief. If you're working so much that you're not sleeping and eating and going to prenatal appointments and taking care of yourself and baby, that's one thing. If you're maintaining a normal and manageable work schedule, that's another entirely! Don't pay him any mind. You and your provider know what you can handle and what's safe.

 

[Anthrogirl]

Okay, ladies, ease up on the poor fellow! He definitely worded it wrong, and insensitively, but remember, we're all products of our history. Chances are when he learned about and more closely experienced pregnancy was a time when women were told not to work and to take things easy. My mother quit work when she was 6 weeks pregnant with my brother (older than me) and was told with both of us that no matter where she was she needed to rest reclined with her feet up for a MINIMUM of 20 minutes out of every hour! I'm lucky if I sit for 20 mins at the end of the day... It was also recommended for women at that time (early to mid 70s) that they get at least 12 hours sleep in a 24 hour period.
Times are a'changing! and sometimes people take a little longer to change with them...

 

[Annie77]

My midwife has told me to quit work - I work beside her at the clinic and as she is aware of the challenges I am having this time with SPD, anaemia and urine infections she has now advised me to stop. I was stopping tomorrow anyway but started to doubt if I should just keep going. I feel quite relieved she has told me to stop - I feel more justified in leaving if that makes sense?

I think the older generation are, on the whole, concerned about our age group putting ourselves under so much pressure and over working etc. We are a generation of people who work hard, live fast and relax seldom so maybe your dad truly believes that your work may lead to premature labour etc. as it wasn't the way our own parents did it.

 

[Annie77]

Okay, ladies, ease up on the poor fellow! He definitely worded it wrong, and insensitively, but remember, we're all products of our history. Chances are when he learned about and more closely experienced pregnancy was a time when women were told not to work and to take things easy. My mother quit work when she was 6 weeks pregnant with my brother (older than me) and was told with both of us that no matter where she was she needed to rest reclined with her feet up for a MINIMUM of 20 minutes out of every hour! I'm lucky if I sit for 20 mins at the end of the day... It was also recommended for women at that time (early to mid 70s) that they get at least 12 hours sleep in a 24 hour period.
Times are a'changing! and sometimes people take a little longer to change with them...

I agree - times are a'changing but I am not entirely convinced they are changing for the better. Sometimes I would like to switch off the mobile phone, put my feet up, not feel pressurised to juggle work and parenthood & generally experience what my parents did in the 70's. Hell - I wouldn't even mind the shops being closed on Sundays like they used to be!!